Arthur Daigle's Blog - Posts Tagged "monster"

“Once upon a time—”, Bargle began.

“You muttonhead!” Yot yelled at him. “That’s not the way you start a story!”

“It is so!” Bargle yelled back. The blue, grubby goblin got up off the forest floor and grabbed a stick of firewood. He shook the stick at his fellow goblin and said, “There is a long tradition of pointlessly brutal fairytales starting with those words.”

Yot rolled his lavender eyes. The wrinkly goblin wore an oversized shirt and carried a walking stick, which he pointed at Bargle. “Which is why you don’t use it. Once upon a time was copyrighted years ago. Do you want to get sued?”

Bargle tossed the stick onto the fire and put both hands into his pockets. He pulled them out to reveal their contents, absolutely nothing. “What are they going to take? I haven’t even got good intentions.”

Pith the nearly clean goblin scowled at them. Pith was the closest this band of goblins had ever come to having a leader. Leading goblins starts at impossible and gets worse from there, making Pith’s life a near constant nightmare. He’d tried to run off many times, but the other goblins always chased him down and carried him back.

Pith pointed at a small boy with the goblins, a boy who looked to be on the verge of tears. “I distinctly recall asking for a way to cheer up Ted. Howling like harpies was not part of that request. So kindly take this argument and shove it up your, you know, place no one is ever going to ask to see, and get on with it.”

Bargle grumbled under his breath. He didn’t like story time one bit. It was long and boring, and you had to come up with a new story every time. But Ted needed stories as much as food and water, and it was Bargle’s turn to come up with the story.

The other 120 goblins in their crude gathering waited none too patiently for him to continue. They were camped deep in Monster Woods, a dense forest far safer than its name would imply, and were sitting down to dinner. Goblin cooks prepared the night’s slop while Pith cooked a more nourishing meal for Ted. Fires were lit, food was cooking, and a story was expected.

“Fine, but no more interruptions,” Bargle said. He settled down next to the fire and turned his attention to Ted. “This is the story of how Monster Woods got its name, and it’s a true story. Long, long ago, this used to be farmland. There were fields and orchards and moo cows. Humans raised animals and plants to eat. It was a hard life, but they managed, until one day a terrible monster showed up.”

“Where did it come from?” Yot asked.

Bargle shrugged. “It didn’t say. Monsters usually don’t.”

“What did it look like?” Yot pressed.

Struggling to maintain what little composure he had, Bargel said, “It was mostly mouth with legs stuck on as an afterthought. It had oodles of eyes and tough skin, and it ate a lot. I mean big, heaping piles of meat. The day it showed up it ate two cows, three sheep, ten chickens and a donkey named Merv.”

Pith finished cooking Ted’s supper and spoon fed the child. “There we go, eat it all up, just like the monster in the story.”

“You’re sure he’s paying attention?” Bargle asked. “I’m doing this for him, and there’s no sense in going on if he’s not listening.”

Another goblin poked Bargle with a stick. “Keep going.”

Bargle swatted the stick away. “Fine. The humans were ruled by a baron, a greedy sort who thought every inch of ground was his, and he made farmers and ranchers pay him taxes ever year, the jerk. But his people couldn’t pay taxes when the monster was eating everything that could be taxes, like cows and sheep and chickens and a donkey named Merv. So the baron said he’d pay a thousand gold coins to whoever killed the monster.”

“What, he wanted farmers to kill a monster?” Yot asked.

“No, he wanted bounty hunters and mercenaries and wizards and heroes to kill the monster. He didn’t want farmers to do it because he couldn’t tax them if they got killed.”

Ted pointed at the pot Pith was feeding him from. “More.”

“What is he eating?” Bargle asked.

“The last of the baked beans,” Pith replied. “We’ll need to scrounge up more food for him tomorrow.”

Yet another goblin poked Bargle with a stick. “Don’t stop the story.”

“The next guy who pokes me gets a black eye,” Bargle growled. “The baron got a surprise, because nobody came to kill the monster. Bounty hunters said the monster was too dangerous. Mercenaries said the pay was too low. Wizards ignored the offer because they’re jerks. And the monster ate four more cows, twenty sheep, a hundred chickens and a second donkey, whose name was also Merv. That was a popular name for donkeys back then.”

Bargle took a stick and lit one end in the fire. He held it up like a sword and announced, “But heroes aren’t scared or greedy or jerks, and one day a hero named Biff arrived.”

“What kind of a name for a hero is Biff?” Yot demanded.

“His mother named him that,” Bargle said. “Biff did the best he could with the name he had. Anyway, Biff told the baron he would kill the monster and save the people who were losing animals. He tracked the monster down and found it asleep after eating another donkey named Merv.”

A goblin in the audience raised a hand. “Merv might have been a family name. Were the donkey’s related?”

“I don’t care.” Bargle swung the burning stick left and right, up and down. “Biff fought the monster for hours, hacking and slashing and stabbing and jabbing. When he was done there were gooey bits everywhere, and the monster was dead. So Biff goes back to the baron for his money.”

Bargle tossed the stick into the fire. “The second he showed up, the baron tells him there’s a sword tax, which Biff hadn’t paid. And if Biff is claiming a bounty on the monster then he’s a bounty hunter, and there was a stiff fee for not having a bounty hunter license. And there was a tax for visiting the baron’s territory, charged by the day. After that was another tax and another one. By the time the baron was done, not only was Biff not getting paid but the poor slob was fifty gold coins in the red. The baron threw him in jail until his friends came up with the money. Poor Biff walked away, never to be seen in these parts again.”

“That’s a lousy story,” Yot told him.

“And not a good example for young children,” Pith added. Ted didn’t seem upset, just sleepy.

“I’m not done,” Bargle said. “The baron thought he was clever for getting rid of the monster without paying for it, but the monster had laid eggs before Biff killed it. One sunny day a whole gaggle of little monsters showed up and ate the last cow the farmers had. The baron put out a call for someone to kill the monsters, but no one came. Bounty hunters said if Biff was cheated out of his reward then they might be, too. Mercenaries said the pay was still too low. Wizards didn’t say anything because they were still jerks. That left the heroes, and they weren’t going to lift a finger after what happened to Biff.

“The little monsters ate and ate until they grew up to be big monsters. They chased off the baron and the farmers, and the forest spread out into the fields until it got to be as big as it is today. The monsters wandered off when there was nothing left to eat, but humans thought they’re still here, so that’s why they call it Monster Woods. The end.”

Pith frowned. “So the moral is to keep your word or it will come back to bite you.”

Bargle shrugged. “I was never good with morals. I guess the moral should be keep talking until Ted falls asleep, because the kid is out cold.”

Warm, fed and tired, Ted was indeed fast asleep. Pith placed a blanket over the small boy and gestured for the goblins to sleep. Goblins generally ignored his instructions, but it was late and they were tired, so they reluctantly went to sleep under the dense canopy of Monster Woods.

Only Bargle and Pith remained awake. The two stoked the fire and fed it when it threatened to burn out. Pith waved his hands at the woods and said, “No monsters here anymore, thank God.”

“Yeah, we’re lucky that way. It’s only us and the tentacled horror. How’s it going, big guy?”

A long, segmented red and black tentacle raised lazily up from the ground and waved at them before sinking back beneath the soil. Men or elves would find that frightening, but the goblins knew their neighbor well. Tentacled horrors were vegetarians, and at four tons this one was still a youngster.

Pith nodded at the tentacled horror. “He’s a good sort, and he owes me a small green frog when we were gambling. Tentacled horrors pay their debts. It’s what’s outside the woods that worries me.”

Goblins had always lived in Monster Woods, protected by the wood’s fierce reputation and the generally poor soil, and some of the goblins in this band had spent their whole lives here. Woodcutters dared not enter, and farmers didn’t bother clearing land that was both unfit for farming and ‘dangerous’. This protected them from men who might hunt goblins. Monster Woods was also far enough south and close enough to the coastline that summers were cool and winters seldom had snow. It was a goblin paradise, and lately one they had to stay in.

Bargle stirred the fire with a long stick before throwing it in. “The Crimson Hood bandits haven’t come into Monster Woods in two years. They won’t start now. After all, what have we got worth taking?”

“Ted.”

Both goblins glanced at the sleeping human boy. Goblins as a rule were as dumb as a stump. When Ted wandered into the woods a month ago and stumbled into the goblins, most of the band thought he was another goblin. It was an understandable mistake when the boy was small, dirty and only now learning to talk. Goblins long ago realized they were small and weak compared to most foes, so they banded together for self-preservation. When they’d found Ted, instincts took over and they’d added him to the band. Only smart goblins like Bargle, Yot and Pith understood he was human.

“Men love their children,” Pith continued. “If they see Ted, they won’t ask how he came to join us. They’ll attack to get him back.”

Bargle frowned. “Are bandits really men anymore? Men don’t kill other men most of the time, and almost never hurt women and kiddies. Crimson Hood bandits do it all the time. I’ve seen eight farmhouses attacked this year and four more the year before that. I think that’s what happened to Ted’s family or we wouldn’t have found him in the woods.”

“There’s an irony for you,” Pith said. “All the monsters live outside Monster Woods.”

“I’d heard the hero Julius Craton was coming to get rid of the Crimson Hood bandits,” Bargle said. “The tentacled horror said so, and he’s reliable.”

“One man against a whole pack of bandits?” Pith scoffed.

“He is a hero. You can’t put limits on those guys.”

* * * * *

The goblins woke late the following morning and moved on to the first order of business. In most goblin bands that meant setting traps to plaster unsuspecting people with mud, cow dung, spoiled cream cheese or other offensive substances. But Monster Woods’ reputation meant there was a shortage of victims for their traps. With no one to humiliate and nothing else to do, the goblins were forced to (gasp!) work. That meant find food for Ted.

One goblin offered up a rotten log. “Here you go.”

Yot knocked the log away. “We’ve been over this. You can eat that, he can't.”

“He never tried,” the goblin persisted. “Give the little guy a chance and he’ll surprise you.”

Pith led Ted as the goblins searched the woods. “You know the drill. Bird eggs, fresh fruit, stolen pies and meat are good. He won’t need much, but he needs it soon.”

The goblins hurried across the woods in search of food were a weird bunch, no two alike. Their skin tones ran the gambit and included pink, red, blue, tan, lavender, gray, and two goblins had stripes. Their clothes were rags and cast off human clothing they’d scavenged, plus a generous helping of animal skins, rope and bits of tent canvas. Their only defining features were how short they were, how smelly and how dumb. So mind blowing was their stupidity that it actually warped space and caused sawdust to rain down on their heads. Other races would find such warps raining down junk on their heads upsetting or worrisome, but to goblins it was just another day.

Goblins were rarely well armed, and these ones were worse off than most. They had little need for spears or daggers when no man entered their forest home, eliminating the main reason to have weapons. Goblins were also notoriously poor craftsmen and preferred to steal weapons from enemies. The lack of enemies or even passing travelers meant there was no one they could rob of their sword or axes. Lastly, the woods themselves offered little in the way of resources besides wood, stone and bone, all poor building materials for weapons. Bargle and his fellow goblins got by with crude clubs and rocks to throw, a fact they were perfectly happy with.

Trees were tall and dense in Monster Woods, leaving little space for food that small boys could eat. The goblins eventually went to the edge of the woods, where they found berry bushes and a rabbit. Cooking it took time and generated a lot of smoke. Goblins kept watch in case the Crimson Hood bandits saw the smoke and came to investigate. Thankfully the smoke went unnoticed. Ted was soon fed and as happy as he could be.

With that done, the goblins looked for victims for their pranks. No men, elves or dwarfs lived in the woods, and settlements were few and far between. The soil was poor except for a few spots claimed by farmers long ago. Even those were hard to come by since the Crimson Hood bandits began their depredations.

“We might have to go as far as Honeywild to pester someone,” Yot said as the goblins marched through the woods.

“That’s a lot of walking for some fun,” Bargle said. He’d visited the town of Honeywild years ago and left disappointed. It had too many walls, fences and dogs for his liking.

“Yeah, but there are oodles of men packed in there,” Yot told him. “We’re talking prime victim territory.”

Pith picked up Ted and carried him. “Men in Honeywild carry spears since the Crimson Hood bandits showed up. It’s dangerous to get close to them.”

“Why do they have weapons when they haven’t been attacked yet?” Bargle asked.

“Because they could be,” Pith replied.

“Ooh, look over there,” Yot said eagerly. There was a farmhouse near the edge of Monster Woods. This was one of the few places with good enough soil to grow crops, and the nearby field was thick with wheat. “A farm this prosperous has to have people to annoy.”

Goblins were loud and obnoxious, but they could be quiet when they had to. The band fell silent and edged closer to the farm, creeping between the trees on their bellies. There just had to be an outhouse to trap or livestock to put on the house’s roof. Goblins grinned as they came nearer. They looked for signs of the owners or sounds to suggest they’d been spotted. They’d almost reached the house when Yot stopped and raised a hand.

“What is it?” Bargle whispered.

“No one’s here.” Yot got up and walked over to the house. He went inside and came out a few seconds later. His lip trembled, and he rested a hand on the doorframe.

“If no one is here then we can look for goodies,” Bargle said. He got up and headed for the house. Yot stopped him before he went inside.

“I was wrong. The farmer is still here.”

“Then why hasn’t he…oh.” Bargle’s face turned a shade paler. He put on the smile he used when he lied to strangers before turning to Ted. “Hey there, little fella. Do you want to play? Let’s go over in the field and play. You like playing, right?”

Ted smiled. “Play!”

Bargle took Ted far from the farm and kept the boy laughing and smiling while the other goblins went to work. They needed an hour to bury the farmer and recover what little was left in the house. When they were done, the goblins moved back into the protection of Monster Woods.

Bargle felt better once he was in Monster Woods again. The dark, foreboding woods had plenty of hiding places, and its thick canopy kept out flying monsters like wyverns, chimera and manticores. There were even good campsites scattered throughout the woods where foundations and stone chimneys from old farmhouses remained. The goblins found one of these welcome refuges and stopped to rest.

Noon came and Pith cooked another meal for Ted. More goblins gathered around to watch the boy and play with him. Bargle and Yot walked a short distance away and spoke in hushed tones.

“How bad was it?” Bargle asked.

Yot shuddered. “It was the Crimson Hood, no question. They left their mark on the guy’s door. They’d looted the place pretty good. We found some food they’d missed, so Ted has hot meals for the week.”

“There aren’t many farms left for them to hit. What happens when they run out of easy targets?”

“I guess they’ll go after Honeywild,” Yot said. “Honeywild has good protection with a wall around the town and they’ve got enough men that they might be able to fight off the bandits. The Crimson Hood has eighty or so men, so they might loot a part of the town and come back later for the rest. There ought to be knights or soldiers to deal with this.”

Bargle spat on the ground. “They all went off to war. Hey, if this Julius Craton guy isn’t handy, maybe we can get someone else to help. I heard good things about Sorcerer Lord Jayden.”

Yot stared at him. “The guy who wants to overthrow the king and queen?”

“It’s a popular hobby. The rest of the time he helps out peasants and itty bitty towns like Honeywild. I bet you a small green frog that we can talk him into hunting bandits.”

“It might work. Let’s go deeper into the woods. It’s safer far from the edge.”

The goblin band was morose as they headed for the center of Monster Woods. Goblins were mischievous, but they weren’t used to the violence that had spread to their corner of the world. A few even suggested leaving Monster Woods until the Crimson Hood bandits left or were defeated. The idea wasn’t outrageous. Large groups of goblins like this often relocated when times were hard. They also relocated to find new people to annoy, and sometimes moved for no reason at all.

They came across other denizens of the woods after one hour’s march. Giant mushrooms covered in blinking eyes shuffled across the forest floor in a slow, stately procession. The lead mushroom was ten feet tall and pale white, while smaller mushrooms followed it. A smaller mushroom stopped to study the approaching goblins until the largest mushroom made a rumbling sound that brought it back in line.

“Hi, Sven,” Barge said to the leading mushroom. “You’re starting the migration kind of late this year.”

The giant mushroom rolled its many eyes, as if to say, ‘Don’t get me started.’

Ted stared at the mushrooms as they shambled away. He pointed at a small one in the back and asked, “Monster?”

“No,” Pith assured the boy. “Monsters do bad things. Sven and his family don’t bother anyone.”

Night approached and the goblins made camp. They settled down for the night and drew lots for who had to tell Ted a story.

Bargle started a fire and walked away from the others. “I did last night’s story, so somebody else does it tonight. Pith and me will keep watch.”

“Hey, he draws lots the same as the rest of us,” a feathered goblin demanded.

“Not this time,” Bargle said. He took Pith outside of the goblins’ crude camp, far from Ted’s ears. “I’ve been thinking it over, and I’m going for help. Word is this Jayden guy is nearby. I’ll bring him back.”

“He’ll want money. Humans always do.”

Bargle nodded. “Yeah. The bandits must have some gold after robbing those farms. If he wants more, I’ll say the local baron has gold he can steal. Jayden likes picking fights with royalty.”

“Are you sure we want a guy like that around?” Pith asked. “We might get rid of the bandits and replace them with someone worse.”

“If you’ve got a better idea, let’s hear it, because I’m all out.”

Pith’s shoulders slumped. “I’ve got nothing. Yot and me will keep the other goblins moving so we can’t be found easy. You just be careful. It’s dangerous out there.”

Snap.

The sound was faint and far away, but both goblins heard it. There was another snap, and a bump of someone hitting a tree. Bargle and Pith ran back to the camp as fast as they could.

“Douse the fires,” Bargle ordered. Most of the goblins stared at him, but a few smothered their fires by kicking dirt on them. Goblins grabbed clubs and slings before hiding behind trees.

Bargle heard more snaps and thuds as someone stumbled through the woods, and it was getting closer. There was a jingling noise, like tiny bits of metal shaking back and forth. Bargle had heard that sound once before when he’d escaped a squad of swordsmen.

“Chainmail,” Bargel whispered. “The guy is wearing armor, and I bet he’s armed.”

More jingling followed. Yot tightly gripped his club. “I only hear one guy. Maybe he’s a scout.”

The goblins raised their makeshift weapons, ready to fight if they had to, when a lone man staggered into their midst. Bargle opened his mouth to howl a battle cry when the man collapsed at his feet.

Bargle stared at the fallen man. “That was different.”

Yot frowned. “We usually have to do more to stop a big fellow like him.”

Goblins relit their fires and took a closer look at the man. He wore a steel breastplate, chain armor over his arms and legs, leather boots and a helmet that covered the sides of his face but left the front open. The man had a short sword and dagger sheathed on his belt, a backpack and nothing more. For some reason his armor looked wet under the poor light, but there were no streams or ponds nearby.

A goblin brought over a lit branch to the man, and the band gasped in horror. Their unconscious intruder was wet, all right, but not with water. His armor was stained red, and his leather boots were more crimson than brown.

Bargle tossed his club aside. “He’s hurt bad! Quick, get his armor off and bind his wounds!”

Goblins were tricksters at heart and had no desire to see someone die. They struggled to remove the man’s armor and offer what little help they could. Piece by piece the armor came off, the goblins working slowly to prevent making the man’s injuries worse. Ted came over, but Pith quickly escorted the boy away from the gristly sight.

Trying to fight back a sense of panic, Bargle said, “I don’t know what he was doing out so late, or why he came into Monster Woods. He must have been desperate. Maybe the Crimson Hood bandits attacked him.”

“Then they’re dumber than they look,” Yot said. “This is Julius Craton.”

Bargle’s jaw dropped. “What? You’re sure?”

“I saw him two years ago in Kaleoth.” Yot studied the man, now missing his breastplate and the chainmail on his arms. “He was being chased out of the kingdom after foiling a plot against the king.”

Pith frowned. “They chased him out for that?”

“Members of the royal family were in on the plot.” Yot shook his head. “Poor guy just can’t catch a break.”

Bargle waved his hands at Julius and shouted, “Save him! We can’t have a famous person die on us. We’ll get blamed! Bandage his wounds, stitch him up, anything!”

“He hasn’t got a scratch on him,” Yot told him.

Goblins scooted in closer to study Julius. The hero had bruises aplenty, but no cuts. Puzzled, Bargle pointed to the man’s stained armor and asked, “Then what’s wrong with him, and where did the red stuff come from?”

Pith came over and pressed an ear to Julius’ chest. “He’s breathing. I think he’s just so exhausted that he fell over. As for his armor, if it’s not his blood then he got into a fight and won.”

Yot scratched his head. “What idiot is stupid enough to pick a fight with the biggest hero around? I mean, I’ve barely got two spoonfuls of brains, and even I’m not that dumb.”

“It does take a special kind of stupid to do that,” Pith agreed.

“Freaky,” Bargle said. He helped the goblins scrub off Julius’ armor so the smell wouldn’t attract predators. “I guess we should make a litter and carry him to a safe place until he gets better. Hey, guys, we’re saving a hero. That’s got to be a first for goblins.”

Snap. Snap, snap, thud.

Bargle turned around when he heard the noises. It was coming from the same direction Julius had, but there were several sources. Bargle waved for two goblins to come with him before he went to investigate.

Bargle and the two goblins snuck up behind a tree and spotted the new intruders. There were a bunch of them, maybe twenty. These intruders had spears and shields, and two carried lanterns. They were too far away to see clearly, especially in the dense woods, but Bargle could make out the red hoods the men wore.

“Oh no,” one of the goblins said.

“Back to the others,” Bargle said. He led them back to the group to find Yot standing over their unconscious guest. “It’s the Crimson Hood bandits.”

“They’ve never come into Monster Woods before!” a goblin cried out.

“They’re here now, and I figure this fella is the reason why.” Bargle pointed his club at Julius and said, “There’s no loot here, no farms, but Julius has armor and weapons worth good money. Crimson Hood bandits must have found him and tried to take him down.”

Goblins found two long, narrow branches and lashed them together with strips of leather to make a litter. They lifted Julius and set him on the litter, ten goblins pulling it along at the front while the back end slid on the ground, then dragged him deeper into the woods. One hundred twenty goblins followed, keeping wary eyes on the distant bandits.

Normally this would be enough for them to get away from an enemy. Men so feared Monster Woods that they wouldn’t go more than a stone’s throw within its borders no matter the reason. Even criminals wouldn’t take the risk. But tonight the woods’ fearsome and largely undeserved reputation offered no protection, and the bandits followed them ever deeper into the woods. Their pursuers moved slowly but never stopped.

“This can’t be happening,” a hyperventilating goblin said.

“It is, so keep moving,” Yot told him. “And keep quiet or they’ll hear us. They don’t know we’re here, and we want to keep it that way.”

Bargle looked around until he spotted Ted. The boy was fast asleep in Pith’s arms, a blessing indeed when they needed to be quiet.

The goblins hurried along as quickly and as quietly as they could, but the light and sound of their pursuers stumbling through the woods never left them. Bargle couldn’t figure out for the life of him how these men were following them. The goblins traveled without light and were as quiet as they could be. Why hadn’t they lost the bandits yet?

Then he looked down. “The litter. It’s digging a rut in the dirt when we pull it. The bandits aren’t going to lose us when there’s a line in the ground showing them where to go.”

“We can’t leave him,” Yot protested. “Julius has done good, and he’s not stuck up like most important people.”

Pith pointed at the men still following them. “If we leave Julius then those men get him, and we know how that ends. Get more guys on the back and lift it up, and rotate goblins so nobody doing it gets too tired. We’ll take him to rocky ground where the litter won’t leave a mark and neither will out feet.”

The goblins changed direction and left as silently as they could. Their pursuers weren’t so quiet, tripping and banging into things. There was some shouting as well. Bargle heard what might be an argument, and became so curious that he stayed back as the goblins continued their escape.

“You promised us land!” a bandit screamed. “You said we’d have our own farms! It was supposed to end months ago!”

Another bandit grabbed the first one by the shoulders and shook him. “Hold it together! We’re so close! We can still have everything I promised!”

The first bandit shook himself free. “Everything you promised? My brothers, my cousins, they’re gone! You can’t fix that! We trusted you!”

That was a step too far, and the second bandit slapped him. “Julius Craton took your family members from you, not me. He came after us, and we’re doomed if he gets word to the authorities. We finish this tonight. Now get moving.”

“No! I’m through with you, all of you!” The bandit tried to march off, a mistake he didn’t have time to regret as the other bandits turned on him. Bargle staggered back and tried to look away, but was glad he didn’t when the hoods slipped off two of the bandits. It had been a long time since he’d visited Honeywild, but he had no trouble recognizing the town’s mayor and his younger brother.

Bargle ran to catch up with the other goblins. He stopped Yot in the darkness and grabbed him by the arm. “The bandits are men from Honeywild! I saw them. They talked about getting land and farms.”

Pith hurried over and handed Ted to another goblin. “Then these attacks aren’t just robbery. Honeywild has lots of people and no good land to move into. With those farmers dead then someone gets to take their land. Men in Honeywild must have done those horrible crimes so they could claim the land.”

“But how could they?” Yot asked.

Pith frowned. “If no one knows they’re the bandits, then no one could object to them resettling farms left fallow by bandit attacks.”

Yot waved his hands. “No, I mean how could they attack their own neighbors?”

Bargle looked back at the lights and shouting in the distance. “I don’t know. I think these are all of the bandits left. They said Julius Craton came after them. I guess that’s where the red on his armor came from.”

“But they had eighty bandits,” Yot said.

“And they ran into a hero who’s been fighting impossible odds for years,” Pith said. He glanced at Julius, still unconscious.

That was when Ted woke up. The poor boy looked back at the lights behind them, and he saw men in red hoods. Pith saw what was happening and tried to shield the boy, but it was too late. Ted screamed.

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Pith promised, but Ted kept screaming. The poor boy had seen these men before, and he knew terrors the goblins could only imagine.

Goblins broke into a run with the bandits staggering after them. The bandits were nearly as exhausted as Julius and soon lost ground. But even when the goblins reached stony ground they couldn’t escape when Ted’s crying gave away their position.

“I’m rethinking having Ted as a member,” Yot gasped.

Bargle huffed and puffed at the exertion of running so far. “Not now!”

It took far too long, but the goblins got far enough away from that they could stop for a breather. Bargle looked back at the lights from the Crimson Hood bandits, still following them in the darkness. Pith managed to calm down Ted, no easy feat, and a goblin with buckteeth said, “I think we lost them.”

“For how long?” Bargle asked. “They’re after Julius and won’t stop until they get him. Can we outrun them all night? All day tomorrow? Julius is going to need days to get his strength back.”

“What do we do?” asked Yot. He pointed at the following lights and said, “Those men are armed and out for blood. It takes ten goblins to face one human! We can’t fight so many of them. Can we get help from the tentacled horror? I’m not sure we can reach him in time.”

Bargle looked at Julius Craton. The man was a hero, and even he was down and defeated. What hope did goblins have? They were tricksters, annoyances, and the men after them were killers. Terror gripped Bargle, and then he saw Julius’ short sword sheathed on his belt. It belonged to a hero who no doubt needed and demanded the best weapons. It might be the edge the goblins needed. He went over and grabbed the sword.

“We fight.” Other goblins cried out in dismay, certain they’d be killed, but Bargle pressed on. “Those men are tired, scared, lost. They’ve lost three quarters their manpower. If we hit them from surprise and pile on, we can win. We can beat them. We have to. We fight or they’ll keep coming after us and the men living near Monster Woods.”

That’s when Bargle drew Julius’ sword. The short blade was the right size for a goblin, well balanced and in perfect condition. But as he drew it, the sword began to glow. Goblins backed away as the sword rumbled to life.

“Who are you?” it demanded. “Wait, goblins? Julius was fighting bandits when he sheathed me.”

Bargle pointed at the bandits with his left hand. “That’s them over there. Your boss fell down at our knees, and the bad guys are after us. Can help us?”

The sword glimmered before it answered. “Julius Craton is my partner and friend. I’ll let you use me to my fullest extent to save him, but I go back to him once the fight is over. Goblin, I am Sworn Doom, relic of the ancient Elf Empire, and those who face me in battle die. They also have closed casket funerals. Are you prepared for the battle to come?”

Bargle looked at the sword, not scared of it, but sad at what was had to happen next. “Those men have done terrible things for two years. We tried to stay away from them, but they’ve come into Monster Woods, our home. I don’t want to fight them, but I don’t think there’s a choice anymore. They have to be stopped while there are still good people left.”

“Well said. Sheath me until battle is joined.”

Bargle put his borrowed sword back in its sheath, and the glow died away. Goblins were small and weak, but if they struck from surprise, and one of them had a magic weapon, they stood a chance. The other goblins were terrified. He needed them to be strong just for a little while. Bargle gripped the sword tightly before he addressed his fellow goblins.

“Once upon a time there were monsters here that ate up every animal and destroyed all that they touched.” Bargle pointed the still sheathed sword at the bandits drawing closer. “Tonight monsters are here again. They take and take until there’s nothing left, just like before. The monsters in the old days won because nobody stood up to them. Bounty hunters, mercenaries, wizards, they sat back and watched it happen without lifting a finger.”

Bargle pointed at Julius. “One hero stood up to the monsters long ago, and another one is trying to stop the monsters today, but there’s a difference. Biff was alone, but Julius has us. One hundred twenty goblins against tired, scared men lost in Monster Woods. These woods are ours, and those, those things don’t belong here after what they’ve done.”

He turned to face bandits close enough that the goblins could hear the men cough. “The monsters are here, boys. We stop them or Monster Woods grows just like it did in the old days. Yot, take half the guys and go to the left. Pith, take the rest and go to the right. I’ll stay with Julius. Wait until I draw his sword and it gets all glowie, then fight for your lives.”

As inspirational speeches went it wasn’t that good, and Bargle’s plan was questionable at best, but scared goblins followed orders and retreated into the darkness. Bargle stood in front of Julius as the bandits edged closer. The men coughed and staggered came nearer. One of the bandits spotted Bargle standing over Julius. The man squinted and pointed his spear at the goblin.

“Now!” Bargle screamed. He drew Sworn Doom, and the blade glowed as bright as a lantern. Goblins swarmed over the bandits from all sides, swinging clubs, throwing rocks, punching, kicking, biting. They grabbed the bandits’ spears and piled onto the wicked men. Bandits knocked goblins aside, only to have more goblins jump them.

Bargle charged the nearest bandit and swung his borrowed sword. The bandit saw the glowing magic sword and panicked. He recognized it, and with a look of utter desperation he backed up against a tree and raised a shield.

“Doom!” the sword yelled. It went through the bandit’s shield, cutting through it as if it was made of warm butter, and then it went through the bandit.

Bargle gasped in horror at what he’d done. He looked away from the sight to find the fight seesawing between the men and goblins, with each side gaining ground and then losing it. One goblin armed with a magic sword would tip the battle in the goblins’ favor, and its absence would ruin them. He hoped there could be some forgiveness for his actions as he charged the next bandit.

“Doom!”

* * * * *

Julius Craton woke the following morning in a patch of tall grass alongside a road. This surprised him. After last night he’d been sure he wouldn’t wake up at all. He was sore, tired, his mouth was dry and his eyes hurt, but he was alive. His armor and weapon were set beside him, and both had been cleaned. This was odd. Stranger still, he wasn’t alone. A small boy sat on his chest.

“Hi.” The boy was dirty and wore rags, but he seemed to be in good health. He also had a large wood spoon and a tin pot filled with what looked like cold split pea soup. Smiling, the boy scooped up a spoonful of food and tried to stick it in Julius’ mouth.

“Hello,” Julius said. He sat up and put an arm around the boy. “What’s your name?”

“Hi.”

“I guess you’re a little young to talk to.” Julius rubbed his sore arms and looked around. He vaguely recalled fleeing from Honeywild after he’d learned the town’s terrible secret. The night had been a string of brutal battles as he tried to escape. After that things became blurry.

Julius drew his sword and held it up. “I’m not complaining that I’m still breathing, but what happened last night?”

Sworn Doom glowed now that it was out of its sheath, and the sword said, “You received considerable help after collapsing. Your benefactors would like to remain anonymous, and I intend to respect their wishes on the matter.”

“Hello!” Julius hastily sheathed his blade and turned to look at the speaker, and found an old couple hurrying over to his side. “Stars above, you’re Julius Craton! Sir, it’s good to see you well! My grandson saw you fighting the Crimson Hood bandits yesterday. We feared the worst, but here you are alive and well, and with young Ted Valush. We’d thought him lost months ago.”

Julius tried to get up and winced in pain. The couple helped him to his feet, and the woman took the boy from his arms. “I fought the bandits, but I lost sight of them after they chased me into these woods.”

The elderly couple gasped at the news. The woman asked, “You went into Monster Woods? Sir, you must be the greatest warrior ever born to come out alive! And the bandits? Sir, if they entered Monster Woods then they’ll not be seen again.”

Julius studied the woods and thought he saw movement deep within it. Whoever or whatever was there kept its distance. If the person or beast had intended to kill Julius, it had ample opportunities before he woke up, so it was safe to assume the unseen watcher meant no harm. “I’ve never heard of these woods. What danger is in them?”

The old man picked up Julius’ armor and sword before leading him down the road. “You never heard the tale? Well, once upon a time…”

Here is the conclusion to A Fair Deal, with Sorcerer Lord Jayden and Dana Illwind.


It was late at night and Dana was fast asleep when there was a knock at the door. She woke to find Jayden still up waiting patiently. He opened the door to reveal the same gnome they’d seen earlier that day. The gnome tipped his cap and said, “Your assistance is needed.”

“Wait, you were at the dock when we came here, and you followed us,” she said.

The gnome smiled and took off his cap when he saw her. “Mr. Charles hired me to watch the docks and tell him when interesting ships and people come.”

Jayden left his baggage behind and told the gnome, “Lead the way, good sir.”

Dana and Jayden followed the gnome out of the hotel. They found the inn’s common room packed with men, elves and dwarfs playing poker. A lone troll was beating all comers at cards, and he beckoned them with a scaly hand to sit at his table. “You in, wizard?”

“Another time,” Jayden replied.

Dana, Jayden and the gnome went out into the cool night air. Pearl Bay’s streets were nearly deserted with the coming of darkness. The few people on the streets traveled quickly and in groups to lessen the risk of mugging. Goblins scurried between buildings to snatch up garbage and items dropped during the day. Overall it was a time and place Dana would rather be in bed with a locked door.

The gnome led them through the streets. Shapes moved in the darkness, but none tried to bar their path. It took nearly an hour to reach an empty shed lit by a single candle where Charles waited with a mob of scruffy looking men.

“Saints and angels, Charles, I thought you were bluffing when you said he was coming,” an armed man said.

“I wouldn’t have gotten you out of bed without good cause,” Charles said. His men looked nervous, so Charles walked up and put an arm around Jayden’s shoulders. “Me and the sorcerer lord have worked together before.”

Another man pointed a dagger at Dana. “Who’s this one?”

Charles hurried over and put a hand on the man’s arm, pushing it and the dagger down. “Someone he’s protective of, so let’s not annoy either of them.”

Jayden smiled. “Gentlemen, tonight I’m at your service. I can handle the heavy lifting for this endeavor, and Heaven help those who face us in battle, because nothing else can save them.”

“How much is he charging?” the man with the dagger asked.

“I’m covering his fee,” Charles said. “Now if you’re done gawking, we have a job to do. The ship we’re after arrived on time, no small accomplishment, and most of the crew disembarked to get drunk. We need to deal with only a few men onboard and distract nearby mercenaries. Jayden, can you handle the hired swords?”

Jayden studied his fingernails under the dim light. “That shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Then no more delays,” Charles said, and he blew out the candle.

Charles led the motley band out of the shed and onto the docks. They found the docks well lit by lanterns and patrolled by mercenaries wearing chain armor and armed with spears. Charles directed his men into the shadows and pointed at a distant warehouse before telling Jayden, “That’s the only empty building near the docks, and far enough away for our needs.”

Jayden nodded before he took Dana aside. “Stay here. I’ll come back soon.”

With that Jayden ran off into the dark streets. Dana pressed her back into the nearest corner and waited. She wasn’t certain of the loyalty or friendliness of the men around her, and her heart raced. Minutes went by without incident, making her wonder what Jayden was planning.

“Hey there,” a squeaky voice said. Dana nearly shrieked before she saw it was just a goblin. The filthy little creature stood only three feet tall and was dressed in rags as dirty as the bulging bag over his shoulder.

“Hi.”

The goblin set his bag on the street. “Kinda late for a little girl to be out.”

“Don’t start,” she warned him. She hesitated before saying, “I…I may be in a bit of trouble.”

The goblin’s face twisted into an insane grin at the news. “Do tell.”

“My friend has gotten himself into the kind of trouble that gets you executed, and by being around him I think I’m in just as deep.”

“That’s how you know it’s going to be fun.”

Dana frowned. She shouldn’t be saying anything to the goblin, but she was scared and needed someone to talk to, even a stranger. “He’s fighting for a good cause, but he’s going to get killed and maybe get other people killed. We’re stealing stuff owned by your sheriff. I know the sheriff is a jerk, but is that enough reason to rob someone? It seems like we’re on a slippery slope, where just working for the throne is justification to attack someone.”

She looked at the ship they were about to rob. It was ordinary enough, lit with lanterns and watched over by a few men. She frowned again and looked at the goblin. “What kind of ship is scheduled to come to port at night? That’s more dangerous than docking during the day, right?”

“Oh yeah,” the goblin replied.

Charles heard the conversation and came over. “What the, a goblin? You’d better not screw this up for us.”

The goblin laughed. “Oh please, like I owe the sheriff any favors. Speaking of favors, hold off starting the fun for a few minutes. I know some guys who’d like to watch.”

One of Charles’ followers waved for them to come. “Your friend did it.”

“Did what?” Dana asked. She came closer and saw mercenaries running toward the distant warehouse Charles had pointed out to Jayden. The building was burning brightly and sending smoke billowing into the air. Mercenaries ran over, shouting for help as they got buckets and tried to put out the flames.

Jayden soon joined them. “Setting fire to rotting wood isn’t easy.”

“That was why the warehouse was empty,” Charles told him. “A good third of the buildings in Pearl Bay are just as bad. But now that the mercenaries are busy we’ve got a ship to board. Jayden, can you clear the way?”

Jayden smiled. “Gladly. Dana had an excellent idea earlier today on how to do it.”

“I did?” Dana asked as Jayden marched up to the docked ship. She suddenly realized what he meant and ran after him. “Jayden, no!”

Too late. Jayden walked up the gangplank onto the ship. Only three crewmen remained, and they looked bored and sleepy. One man squinted as Jayden stepped in front of him.

“Who are you?” the man asked.

Jayden cast a spell and formed a black whip he swung across the ship’s deck, burning a jagged cut through the wood planks. Men cried out and backed away as Jayden pulled back his arm for another swing.

“Leave, and live long enough to grow old,” he told them. Two men ran off the ship and one jumped into the water. Jayden looked at Dana and told her, “That worked better than I’d thought, and was much cheaper than the last time I emptied a ship.”

“Tactful as a dragon,” Dana scolded him.

Charles led his ragged mob onto the ship. “Good work. Let’s clean this ship out before those men bring help. You four men keep watch. The rest of you follow me and Jayden below deck.”

Jayden opened a heavy wood door in the deck and led them into the dark, stinking bowels of the ship. Dana had grown up on a farm, so the smell of livestock and dung didn’t bother her, but there were other odors here, brine, sweat, and something sour and acidic. Rooms were lit with candles dripping wax on the floor. They found a bunkroom with seven hammocks for the crew and a small storeroom, but no animals.

Jayden came across a locked door at the front of the ship and hacked off the lock with one of his black magic swords. He looked inside before telling Dana, “This looks like the captains quarters. Search it for valuables while we check the lower deck.”

“This is definitely stealing,” she told him as Jayden led the men away. Dana frowned and looked through the room. It was a simple affair, with a hammock, wood chest filled with clothes and a smaller chest filled with papers. She couldn’t find coins, jewelry or anything else of value. With nothing else to do, she went through the papers.

“Tax payments, IOUs, registration form for a pet wombat,” she said as she flipped through the papers. “Bill of sale. This one looks new. One steed, combat class, one thousand guilders! What horse is worth that?”

The paper also listed the 34 sheep and 24 goats, and dates for the last two months, with the number of animals going down by one each day.

“Oh no.” Dana ran out of the room with the papers clutched to her chest. She ran through the ship until she found two men standing next to a wide staircase leading down. One man opened his mouth, but she pushed past him, yelling, “No time! Jayden!”

Dana raced onto the ship’s poorly lit lowest deck to find Jayden, Charles and a few men standing by a nearly empty room. There were tufts of wool in the corners and smears of dung on the floor, and one wall ended in a locked door that Jayden was preparing to hack open with his magic sword. She grabbed Jayden’s arm before he could swing. “Everyone, off the ship, now.”

“What the devil?” Charles snarled.

Dana held out the paperwork for the others to see. “The sheep and goats are gone, all of them, one a day. The only animal left onboard is the steed. Seven crewmen and a captain couldn’t eat an entire animal a day even if they wanted to.”

Jayden took the paper from her and read it. “Let’s take a few steps back, soft, quiet steps.”

Charles snatched the paper from him. “What’s going on?”

Dana backed up as she spoke. “We’re used to the word steed meaning horse, but it could be any animal a person could ride on. What sort of animal eats a sheep or goat a day and is hungry the next morning, but a man can ride it?”

Jayden replied. “Manticore, chimera, wyvern, possibly griffin, any of those are large, trainable and ravenous predators. Charles, you said Sheriff Hemmelfarb owns the contents of this ship?”

“He does,” Charles said. “Oh. Jayden, I’ve been a touch angry with you for burning a ship the last time you were in Pearl Bay, so I hope you won’t think me a hypocrite for asking you to do it again.”

“Not at all.”

Dana gulped as she tried to slip away. Docking the ship in at night made sense now. The new sheriff was bringing a very dangerous animal into a large, crowded city. People would panic if they saw it, and it might attack anyone it saw for food. Bringing the monster in at night meant the roads would be clear and the monster might be too sleepy to cause trouble.

Something on the other side of the locked door growled. There was a hiss, and what sounded like bleating.

“Chimera,” Jayden whispered. “We woke it up. Keep moving, nice and slow.”

Charles looked at the paper again. “It says here they ran out of animals to feed it days ago. The captain drugged its last meal to keep it quiet.”

There was a loud sniff before something bumped into the door.

“It smells us,” Jayden said. “Out, now!”

Jayden took up the rear as they ran out of the ship. They heard loud bangs behind them, followed by the sound of splintering wood. They reached the next floor and heard roars below as the monster followed them. Dana ran onto the fresh air of the deck just as the monster got to the ship’s second floor.

A man Charles had left on guard duty saw her and asked, “What’s go—”

“Run!” The men scattered at Dana’s command just as Charles and Jayden led the remaining men out of the ship. Dana heard a large animal bounding through the interior of the ship toward the door. Jayden slammed the door shut and found a nearby bar to seal it. He did it just in time, for the chimera slammed into the door and made stout timbers creak.

“Get off the ship so Jayden can burn it,” Charles ordered. They fled down the gangplank with Jayden acting as rearguard. There was a bang from the ship, then a louder one. “Jayden, do it!”

“That spell takes time,” Jayden said. He began chanting, and a tiny spark formed in front of him. He kept chanting as the chimera roared and rammed into the door holding it in. He was halfway through the spell when the chimera broke free and took to the sky.

The chimera was a hideous mismatched collection of animals fused together. The core of it was a lion, larger than is should have been by about two hundred pounds, but otherwise like pictures Dana had seen in books. Any comparison to normal ended there. Huge bat wings sprouted from its back and beat furiously to keep it in the air. It had two more heads, a goat head to the lion’s right and a snake head to the left. The goat head was twice the size it should have been and had sharp iron horns as long as swords. The serpent head was equally big, and a hood opened on its neck when it hissed.

Jayden finished his spell and send the tiny spark high into the sky. Dana had seen this spell kill monsters as terrible as this one, but the spark flew slower than the chimera, and it detonated into a terrible fireball too far back to do more than light up the night sky. Jayden’s spell did have one effect, though, for the monster looked down and saw him. Instantly it changed course and swooped down on him.

Jayden saw it coming and dove into the bay. The chimera showed no interest in following him and slowed down before landing on the dock. It surveyed the port with six eyes, growled and hissed, then spotted Charles and Dana. The lion head roared, and it took two steps forward before a black sword drove up through the dock and cut into one of its paws. The monster howled and took to the air again.

Dana and Charles ran to the end of the dock and helped Jayden back onto land. Charles pointed at the monster overhead and asked, “Can you kill it?”

“I’ll have you know I’m quite good at killing monsters,” He said as he squeezed water out of his hair. “I’ve brought down a manitore, estate guards, two monsters I’d rather not discuss and the Walking Graveyard.”

“We killed that one twice,” Dana corrected him. “I hope it stays dead this time. Jayden, I know you can kill it, but what do we do if it flies off and attacks people in Pearl Bay?”

Jayden stepped away from them and watched the chimera turn in flight to come back at them. “Your confidence is appreciated. Don’t worry about it killing random strangers. Chimeras are known for being fierce, strong, trainable and incredibly vain.”

“Meaning what?” she asked.

“Meaning I hurt it, and it won’t let the wound go unavenged. Charles, get your men out of here and come back with help.”

Charles ran as instructed while the chimera swooped down for another attack. It stayed too high for Jayden to strike it, and instead the snake head opened its jaws impossibly wide before spraying a stream of green droplets. Jayden and Dana dodged the attack as the chimera flew over them. The droplets splattered across the dock and stuck on fast. It bubbled and smelled foul, a harsh, acidic stench like she’d smelled on the ship.

“It’s spitting acid at us!” she yelled.

“Technically it’s acid and poison,” Jayden told her. “This would be a good time for you to run. I’ll keep our new friend occupied until help arrives.”

“If help arrives. Charles was using you to steal animals that were eaten days ago. He hasn’t got a reason to help now that the reward is gone.”

Jayden put and hand on her shoulder. “All the more reason for you to leave. This fight is about to become incredibly violent, and I don’t want you to get caught in the crossfire.”

The chimera returned, this time flying lower. Jayden pushed Dana away as the lion and snake heads tried to bite them and the goat tried to impale them on its long horns. It missed by the barest of margins and tried to fly away again.

Jayden cast a spell to form his black whip and swung it. The whip stretched ridiculously long, but again the monster flew so fast he barely grazed its flank. Minor though the wound was, the chimera howled in pain.

“Run!” Jayden ordered.

Dana fled only a short distance while Jayden scanned the dark sky for the chimera. Dana worried that running in the dark might accidentally bring her closer to the monster, not farther. She knew cats could see well at night, so chances were good the chimera could see her and Jayden with the eyes of its lion head.

She spotted the chimera flying low between warehouses to give it cover from Jayden’s spells. It came for another pass and again sprayed venomous acid across the dock. Jayden dove out of the way and lashed out with his whip. This time the monster got away clean and flew into the night.

“Look at that!”

Dana spun around to see people gathering around the edge of the docks. Most wore the simple clothes of commoners, but she saw some wealthier men join them. A few men were armed with daggers and clubs.

The goblin Dana had met earlier waddled over and said, “I asked you to wait.”

“Things kind of got out of hand,” she said. “This is as dangerous as it looks. You need to get out of here before the chimera comes back.”

“That’s why I should stick around,” the goblin told her. More people came, including three elves and a troll who’d been gambling at the Kraken Hotel. A few women showed up, too, until the crowd numbered over a hundred. “A fight like this needs witnesses.”

“I’m putting everything I’ve got on the wizard,” the troll said.

“You’re on,” an elf told him.

The discussion ended when the chimera came diving out of the sky. Jayden had to run to prevent the monster from landing on him with all four clawed feet. It missed by inches, a move that cost it dearly when the dock gave way under the force of the blow. Wood boards snapped in half as the chimera’s front paws broke through. It pulled itself free easily enough, but for a few seconds it couldn’t move. Jayden swung his whip and struck the monster’s right wing. This time it was no glancing blow, but a hit that burned deeply. The chimera tried to fly off and howled in pain from the effort.

More people joined the growing crowd of spectators. They made no move to help Jayden, but that was no surprise when so few of them were armed. Instead they shouted out warnings, crying out, “Monster! Monster! Call the guard!”

Grounded, the chimera folded up its wings and faced Jayden. It was still a formidable opponent on the ground and could kill him. Instead of attacking, the monster studied him with all six eyes, one terrifying predator sizing up another. It walked to the left, closer to the ship that had brought it. Jayden followed it and casually swung his black whip from left to right.

“Someone call Sheriff Gress!” a woman screamed. Then she gasped and put a hand to her mouth. “Oh. Oh no.”

More people came, swelling the crowd past two hundred. Dana recognized some of them from The Hole in the Wall tavern. This included the ogre, the furry beast now looking silly in a nightcap and pajamas. Still more came, and new arrivals brought weapons.

The chimera charged Jayden, eating up the distance between them in seconds. He swung his whip at the monster, only for it to leap over the attack. It came down short of Jayden by a few feet and spit poison at him, missing as Jayden ducked. The chimera lunged forward just as Jayden cast a quick spell that made a globe of light. The light flashed in the monster’s many eyes, and it turned away at the last second. Jayden swung his whip again and hacked off one of the goat head’s horns. The chimera bounded off, blinking and shaking its heads until it recovered from the flash.

“Make way for the sheriff!” The crowd separated as Sheriff Hemmelfarb led sixty heavily armed mercenaries onto the docks and shoved aside anyone too slow to move. Twenty mercenaries lowered their spears for a charge. It took Dana a second to realize they weren’t pointing them at the chimera.

Sheriff Hemmelfarb stayed behind the spear wall. He’d gotten a new sword and pointed it at the chimera. “I’ll deal with this.”

If anyone thought Hemmelfarb had changed his ways, they were disappointed as he put a whistle to his lips and blew. The chimera’s goat head glanced at him while the lion and snake watched Jayden.

“Heel!” Hemmelfarb ordered. “Heel! You must obey!”

The goat head refocused its attention on Jayden. Hemmelfarb blew the whistle again to no effect. He held up an amulet and shouted, “Look! I own you! The beast trainers taught you to obey anyone holding this symbol. Heel and obey!”

Dana didn’t know much about monsters, but she knew a fair bit about trained animals. Hungry animals were less likely to obey commands, and injured ones even less so. The chimera had gone days without food and suffered serious wounds at Jayden’s hands. It wasn’t listening to anyone.

But the people of Pearl Bay were listening to Hemmelfarb. They watched him try and fail to control the monster. Many of them had seen him run away earlier that day, eroding what little faith they had in him. The crowd kept growing and its temper became increasingly foul.

Dana got behind a few men and egged on the crowd. “This is your monster? You brought a man-eating beats into our city!”

“Shut up!” Hemmelfarb yelled back. He waved the amulet in the air. “Heel! Heel! Obey!”

“You put your own people in danger!” Dana yelled. Nearby people looked at her, but in the poor light they assumed she was a fellow citizen.

Hemmelfarb lost his patience. “You’re not my people! You’re mud grubbing peasants! This is my chance at greatness, to ride a chimera at the head of the army in the coming war! I won’t lose this chance! I won’t let you vermin pull me down until I’m as low as you are!”

“That’s what we are to you?” The voice was soft and deadly. Men got out of the way as a woman wearing a nightgown approached. It was Sarah Gress, holding the sword Hemmelfarb had dropped earlier, and looking more terrifying than the chimera. “We’re not brothers and sisters to you, not even people.”

Hemmelfarm ignored her and ordered, “Kill the wizard! Feed his body to the chimera!”

“He’s on the monster’s side!” Dana yelled. The crowd looked angry to the point of going berserk, but the mercenaries’ spear wall kept them back. They edged away and shouted abuse at the sheriff.

Mercenaries advanced on Jayden at a steady march, their spears pointed at his chest. He saw them coming and backed away while the chimera watched. The mercenaries were only four yards away when Jayden swung his whip, not at the chimera but at their spears. The black whip twisted around the spears, hissings as it burned through them. Mercenaries tried to pull away, but their spears burned in half, disarming twenty of Sheriff Hemmelfarb’s men at a stroke.

There was a moment of quiet as the broken spears fell clattering to the dock. For a second no one moved, a brief lull that ended when the chimera roared and charged Jayden. The crowd of enraged men, women, dwarfs, elves, even the troll and ogre yelled war cries as they charged the mercenaries, turning the dock into a battle fiercer than anything Dana had ever seen. Even goblins swarmed from the alleys to join the townspeople.

Dana ran to help Jayden. She dodged mercenaries grappling with furious men and women. The outnumbered mercenaries were better armed and armored, but they were set upon from all sides, and not all their enemies were farmers and fishermen. The ogre bellowed as he slapped mercenaries to the ground, then grabbed one and hurled him at the others. The troll tackled another mercenary. Goblins tripped a mercenary and stole his wallet. Hemmelfarb shouted orders no one heard and insults no one listened to, impotent to stop the battle around him.

Dana struggled to get around the battle when she ran into a disarmed mercenary. The man tossed away his broken spear and drew a knife. Dana snatched the broken chimera horn off the ground and blocked his swing, then smacked him over the head with the horn. His helmet saved him from being killed, but the blow stunned him for a moment. Dana tried to run, but the mercenary grabbed her by the arm. She blocked another knife attack with the horn.

The ogre grabbed the mercenary by the arm and squeezed until the man screamed and let her go. Outraged, the ogre bellowed, “You attacked a child?”

Dana slipped away as the ogre knocked the mercenary to the ground and stomped on him. She worked her way through the fight to find Jayden still battling the chimera. The crowded battlefield kept both wizard and monster from fighting at their best. Jayden couldn’t use his whip without hitting bystanders and replaced it with his magic sword. The chimera knocked people aside, striking civilians and mercenaries alike to get at Jayden. The two met again and Jayden swung his sword at the monster’s goat head. It blocked the swing with its remaining horn, then clawed his shoulder hard enough to force him back.

Dana looked around for something, anything she could use as a weapon. She had the severed horn, plus a knife in her belt, but those couldn’t do enough damage to seriously hurt the chimera. She needed an edge.

A mercenary staggered by her before the troll knocked him over. Startled, she looked at the two and saw the ship behind them that had brought the chimera. It was still empty, and she saw tarred ropes tied to the sails. That might be enough.

Dana ran onto the ship and grabbed the nearest rope. It was tied tight to the ship, but she cut it loose with her knife and tied one end into a lasso and left the other end attached to the ship. Dana ran down the gangplank into the battle to find Jayden running from the monster. It followed him out of the confusing melee, only realizing too late that Jayden had only fled far enough to get room to fight. He lashed at it and scored a minor hit on the snake head, then another on its paw. The chimera spat poison at him once more. Jayden dodged the stream of acidic poison, but two mercenaries weren’t so lucky and cried out in pain.

Dana ran up behind the chimera and swung the lasso over the lion head. The monster didn’t realize what had happened and tried to maul Jayden. He fell back, and the chimera’s triumphant charge ended in a strangled cry as the lasso tightened around its neck. That held it in place long enough for Jayden to drive his black sword up to the hilt into the chimera’s body between the lion and goat head. The monster’s three heads cried out one last time before the beast fell limp at his feet.

Exhausted, sweaty and bleeding from the shoulder wound, Jayden staggered back and smiled at Dana. “Dear girl, you’re worth your weight in diamonds.”

Hemmelfarb saw his monster fall and screamed in outraged. “You fool! That animal was worth a fortune! I’ll make you suffer like no man in history!”

The sheriff raised his sword and managed three steps toward Jayden when he found his path blocked by Sarah Gress. There was a befuddled look on his face when she raised the very sword he had abandoned, and it changed to a look of terror as she swung it at his head. Hemmelfarb fell back to his men and found them overwhelmed by the enraged crowd. Sarah Gress kept after him, not giving up for a second.

“Oh my,” Jayden said. He was too exhausted from fighting the chimera to join her, but his eyes never left the widow. He staggered a few feet forward until Dana sat him down and bandaged his wound. “She is without a doubt the second finest woman I’ve had the privilege to meet.”

“Only the second?” she teased.

“You have to ask why she’s not first after what you did?”

Dana blushed. She’d nearly finished covering his wound when the battle flowed over them. It would have terrified her, except the mercenaries were fleeing for their lives. The armor that made it so hard to hurt them also slowed them down, and enraged citizens piled on them. The mercenaries fought their way to the ship that had brought the chimera, boarded it and went out to sea with the ship’s crew still on land shouting for them to come back.

With the fight nearly over, the troll turned his gaze on the battle between Sheriff Hemmelfarb and Sarah Gress. The troll nudged the elf he’d been gambling with and said, “I’ll give you two to one odds on the widow.”

“I lost enough money to you tonight,” the elf said, “and there’s only one way that fight is going to end.”

Dana watched Sarah slash at the sheriff and drive him back. A lone mercenary tried to intervene, only for a giant hand made of shadows to scoop him up and hurl him at the fleeing ship. Sarah glanced at Jayden and nodded before turning her fury against the sheriff once more. Their duel lasted only seconds longer.

Jayden managed to stand and staggered off with Dana. They hadn’t gone far before he said, “Look who finally came back. Hello, Charles. Did you enjoy the show?”

“Nothing goes to plan when you’re around,” Charles said. He’d returned with his men, now armed with swords and shields. Charles pointed at the docks and said, “We got no livestock from this job, no horse, and a riot broke out. I was supposed to get enough money to quit this city forever!”

“I see no reason why that should change,” Jayden said. “You told me Sheriff Hemmelfarb had the bad habit of robbing suspects and ships he inspected.”

“What do you mean had?” Charles asked suspiciously.

“Let’s just say the sheriff’s office and house are going to be unguarded for the foreseeable future. Aren’t you curious what he might have there? I know I am.”

* * * * *

Dana woke the next morning in the Kraken Hotel. She looked out a window to find Pearl Bay oddly calm. People of all races walked the street as if nothing had happened. The only sign that anything was amiss was a street vendor selling chimera kabobs.

The same goblin from the night before waddled out of an alley and smiled at her. “Hiya.”

“Hi.” Dana smiled back. “Thank you for bringing those people last night. They helped a lot.”

“I told them what they wanted to hear,” the goblin replied. “The gamblers wanted a fight to bet on, fishermen needed to know their ships might be damaged, and a lot of guys wanted to see the sheriff get what he deserved.”

The goblin’s cheerful demeanor disappeared as he gazed at her. “Goblins talk to goblins, and word travels fast when the news is important. You kept the Shrouded One’s secret in Fish Bait City. We owe you for that. Goblins might be small and weak, but we do right by our friends.”

“Thank you. Is there anything I can do in return?”

“If a plate of cheese ended up in an alleyway, that wouldn’t hurt none.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a town crier who called out, “Hear ye, hear ye, citizens of Pearl Bay. Last night foreigners of unknown nationality and race caused a disturbance on the docks. Any citizen with information on these criminals should contact the mayor’s office. Furthermore, any citizen who knows the location of Sheriff Hemmelfarb, or an identifiable portion of the sheriff’s anatomy, is encouraged to report this information to the mayor’s office.”

“You can’t believe that,” a passing elf said scornfully.

The town crier frowned. “Look, I don’t write this stuff, so lay off.”

Dana gathered up her belongings and left her room to look in on Jayden. His room was empty and she eventually found him in the hotel’s common room. He was sitting at a gaming table studying a stack of papers.

“How’s the shoulder?” she asked.

“It will heal in time, as have all my other wounds. You’d be happy to know Charles was here and left, this time for good. As promised he provided a list of potential targets in the area that will keep us busy for weeks.”

“And you gave him a whopping pile of loot from Sheriff Hemmelfarb’s house.”

Jayden shrugged. “I have enough money and he deserved compensation for his help and for the trouble I caused him. I hope he finds the peace he craves.”

“About that,” she began. “The mercenaries guarding Pearl Bay ran off and Sarah Gress took out Sheriff Hemmelfarb. There’s going to be massive repercussions for these people, and we’re responsible.”

“I doubt there will be trouble. The mayor of Pearl Bay knows what happens to people who disappoint the king and queen. He has no desire to ‘die of plague’ and every reason to tell a believable lie. I sent him a letter listing a few good lies. My favorite is blaming the whole thing on pirates and smugglers, close enough to the truth that it won’t raise questions.”

“Won’t other people tell the truth?”

“Witnesses to the event are on our side. Even if the king and queen wanted to investigate, they can’t afford to send soldiers or mercenaries with the war so close at hand. Those men are needed for the invasion. Pearl Bay is safe for now, and if their mayor wants to live he’ll lie like never before to keep the city safe.”

“How soon do we leave?” she asked.

Jayden hesitated. “There’s someone I want to speak with first. I received word that she’s on her way.”

“She?” Dana’s brow furrowed, then she smiled. “The old sheriff’s widow wants to talk with you?”

“Yes, and be polite. That’s her coming now.”

Sarah Gress entered the hotel and spotted Jayden. The elf proprietor poured her a drink as she sat across from Jayden.

“I see you are well despite the injury you suffered last night,” she said formally. “That pleases me. Sir, I have come to apologize.”

“You don’t have to,” he assured her.

“I do. I spoke cruelly to you when we first met. I judged you by your reputation without considering that those who spoke ill of you are the same ones who took my husband from me. You are a man of questionable means, but you proved your good intent when you killed Sheriff Hemmelfarb’s monster. In doing so you further proved to these people what a wretched man he was.”

“I doubt your neighbors needed more evidence of that,” Jayden said. “While your apology is unnecessary, there is something I’d like to ask you.”

Sarah Gress took a sip of her drink. “What might that be?”

“Join me,” he offered. Sarah Gress looked shocked, but Jayden persisted. “Many in our kingdom suffer as you have. Many more will suffer unless they receive help. I saw a woman of unquestionable bravery last night, and shockingly good with a sword. You saved the lives of innocent men and prevented further injustices. I can do so much more with help. You could be the difference between good men living and dying.”

Sarah blushed and looked down. “I can’t.”

“I know I ask much, but I can help you do it.”

“Your offer,” she began, and hesitated before she continued. “I am tempted more than words can say to accept, but I have responsibilities. My husband and I had two sons, the younger only now starting to walk. Last night I gave in to my anger. My sons have already lost their father, and if the battle had gone differently they could have been left orphaned. It was a mistake I can’t afford to repeat. I can’t risk my life when they depend on me.”

“I see,” Jayden replied softly.

Sarah reached over and took his hand. “I am in your debt, as is every soul in Pearl Bay. Were life fair we could repay you as you deserve. The day may come when we can offer more, but for now we can only thank you, and speak well of you to any who will listen. Forgive me for such a paltry reward.”

Sarah Gress bowed to Jayden and left the hotel. He was silent until Dana said, “You were so flirting with her.”

“Yes I was.” He frowned and got up. “There’s nothing more for us here and work to do elsewhere. Come, let’s leave before we have to pay for another night’s stay.”

When Dana got up to join him, Jayden pointed at something sticking out of one of her bags and asked, “And why are you holding on to a chimera horn?”

“I used it last night. It’s got good balance, about the right length, and it has a sharp edge. I know it’s not perfect, but do you think you can craft it into a weapon?”

Jayden smiled and rubbed his hands together. “Now that is an interesting question.”

It was official policy of the Monster Employment Agency that all members must ride black horses while on the job. If for some reason you were too heavy to ride a horse without breaking its back in multiple places, like Gus, you could ride a wagon painted black. With fake skulls on it, which were also painted black. And the horses pulling it had to be black. Basically, you had to appear so terrifying that enemies wet themselves at the sight of you and clients would pay on time.

That was a bit of a problem for Gus. While he was by most definitions a monster, and was taller and heavier than most men, he didn’t look intimidating. Well, most of the time. His cursed plate armor was rusty, discolored, scratched and dented. Broken lengths of rusty chains dangled off his armor at odd places. His tattered cape was so dirty it was hard to tell if it was red, gray or black. Gus had no weapons, and in truth had never needed one. He looked horribly out of place riding his black wagon pulled by matching black mares. A passerby could be forgiven for thinking some terrible mistake had been made for Gus to have such menacing transportation.

The forest he was traveling through was dark and dreary enough for the wagon and mares to fit in perfectly. Clearly no one had been managing it for many years. Usually lumberjacks would thin a forest, but these trees grew in a dense mass, allowing little light to reach the soil heavy with rotting leaves and fallen branches. Places like this were rare and highly prized by those who desire solitude, and lonely roads running through the woods were closely watched. That could make his journey difficult.

“Good evening, sir,” a snide voice called out. Gus spotted eight swordsmen in leather armor at the edge of the road. They were dirty, hadn’t shaved in a while and had about twenty teeth between the lot of them. Their spokesman smirked and waved his sword at Gus’ wagon. “A nice ride, sir. Makes me wonder how a man of such limited means acquired it.”

Gus let the wagon slow to a stop in front of the swordsmen. “I was issued it last week.”

“Issued it? Well, someone has more money than sense. I think…are your chains rattling?”

“They are.” It was a slow rattle, chick-chick-chick.

There was a short pause. “Are you one of those horrible monsters of the night that don’t look like much until you get angry and then everybody dies?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“There are clues,” the swordsman admitted. “You, ah, mind if we wander off and do something else? Anything else except dying?”

Gus took a letter from the wagon and checked it. “Let me see. You’re not why I came, so there’s no need for this road to get painted red. Off you go.”

The swordsman bowed slightly before he and his fellows ran away as fast as hares chased by hounds. Gus’ chains stopped rattling and he rode on. Third time today that had happened. The authorities really had to start patrolling these roads even if nearby towns didn’t generate much tax revenue. A quick glance showed this was potentially a rich source of timber, and with current market prices that would—

Gus shook his head. That was the old him talking, before he found his armor. No room for that kind of thinking these days. Like it or not he was a monster, and a gainfully employed one at that. Time to get to work and start billing.

“Lot of barking for no bite,” Gus said as he continued on his way. Most bandits were like that. There was a lot of that in his job. Prove you’re willing to fight back and most enemies decide they have better things to do. The other extreme was just as bad, men with no idea what they were doing yet ready to fight to their last breath. It took a lot of effort to scare them off without hurting them too badly. Dead men were bad for business, encouraging others to avenge them or die (messily) trying. Trained, professional, heavily armed enemies were thankfully rare and usually open to talking.

Trees thinned along the road until Gus entered cropland bathed in warm sunshine. This was normally a bad move for a monster, as there would be lots of people and no cover to hide in when torch wielding mobs showed up. Fortunately, this wasn’t a concern. Farmers who saw him as they worked in the fields waved enthusiastically. Two men cheered. Confident of a good reception Gus rode on until he saw a small walled city along a river.

Gus checked his letter. This was the city of Lemet, population twelve thousand, give or take a few hundred. Major exports included food, timber, rope, pottery and horse head bookends. No military presence, as it was far from hostile borders and not given to rebelling. Tax revenue was modest and mostly came in the form of goods rather than coins. The local duke gave the city no thought when there were many problems to deal with and larger, more prosperous communities to squeeze for money.

These people were his new employers.

Gus reached the city gate to find cheering crowds gathering. A few enterprising people even hung brightly colored banners. It was more than Gus had expected, but his instructions clearly stated he was to go through the main gate in broad daylight, not sneak in at night like usual. Residents were well fed and reasonably prosperous. No silk and furs, but their clothes were in good condition without tears or holes. That was rare these days.

“Sir, this way,” a spearman said. He guided Gus to a wood podium in the city plaza. A small band played loud and not particularly good music, but they were trying. Rudolf Praise, mayor of Lemet, stood on the podium, his yellow clothes and gold key of office hanging from his neck making him stand out from the crowd of thousands. People got out of Gus’ way as he rode up to the podium and stopped.

“Mayor Praise, I—” Gus began before a tuba player drown him out.

“What?” Praise yelled.

“I hope you haven’t waited long!”

“Hold on, I can’t hear you! Jesse, kill the music. I know the song isn’t finished, but he’s here and we—stop playing!”

The music died down and the crowd’s wild cheering stopped. Gus stood up so the crowd could get a better look at him. His appearance usually didn’t inspire anyone, but they seemed satisfied. A few women waved. Gus said, “Mayor Praise, I hope I haven’t made you wait long.”

“For you we would have waited all day and tomorrow, too.” Citizens nodded at the mayor’s words.

Gus checked his letter again. “The Monster Employment Agency was pleased with your offer and sent me to handle your city’s problem. Rest assured that whatever troubles you won’t do so for much longer. Umm, what is troubling you?”

“Oh, yeah, I didn’t say much in the letter. I worried the authorities might get hold of it before it reached you. If they did, I could say I needed bandits hunted. Have you seen our bandits? Worse than rats.”

“Tell him!” a man in the crowd yelled.

“You don’t want to do this in private?” Gus asked.

“No!” the crowd yelled together.

“It’s not a secret,” Mayor Praise told Gus. “Matter of fact, it was a council of leading citizens who came up with the idea of hiring you.”

“Then what’s going on here?” Gus asked. “You all look happy and healthy with no need of aid.”

The mayor nodded. “We’re happy, but not for long. Our duke says the region isn’t safe, which is kind of true, and we need protection. He’s about to send troops to our city. The real story is he’s having trouble feeding and paying his men. Sending a hundred soldiers here means we have to do it for him out of our own pockets. I’ve heard from other mayors who got ‘protection’. All those soldiers do is eat, push around citizens and, ahem, take an interest in our women.”

“Take an interest?” Gus asked.

Mayor Praise looked queasy. “By law we have to provide them twenty unmarried women to act as serving girls, cooks and, uh, companions. Nudge nudge wink wink.”

That did it. The crowd screamed and backed away as Gus’ blood boiled and he took his true form. Rust shook off to reveal his black and electric blue full plate armor. Fingers on his gauntlets ended in barbed claws. Tattered rags turned into a silk cape of royal purple. Chains dangling off him extended until they were twenty feet long and had scythe blades at the ends. Those chains waved about like lethal serpents, promising violence to anyone foolish enough to approach. Every inch of his armor and chains was covered in intricate etchings showing dragons breathing fire.

“Deep breaths,” Gus whispered to himself. “You’re in control. Murder won’t solve anything.”

Slowly his cursed armor returned to its dilapidated state. The scythes and most of the chains crumbled away, his cape became rags, and rust spread across steel until he once more looked pathetic and weak. “Sorry, I do that sometimes. Go on.”

The crowd relaxed now that Gus was back to normal. Mayor praise gulped and said, “Yes, well, we tried getting around that part. There were three hundred weddings in the last two weeks, so there are only eight unmarried women in the city.”

“Seven!” a woman in a white dress yelled.

“Woo who!”

“Good for you, Maggie,” the mayor said.

“Three hundred weddings in two weeks,” Gus said in awe. “That must have been a logistical nightmare.”

“It was tricky, and it didn’t help,” the mayor replied. “The duke heard and said we still had to send twenty women married or not. He also sent the bill for one month of ‘protection’. It comes out to three hundred guilders a month in cash and supplies, and the soldiers can demand more in an emergency.”

“Who decides what’s an emergency?” Gus asked.

“The duke or the officer commanding the soldiers,” the mayor replied. “I don’t have a say in the matter.”

“Typical,” Gus muttered. It was poor decisions like this that ruined a kingdom’s economy. Why they didn’t have qualified accountants on every king’s staff was…not something Gus should be worrying about anymore. “I can deal with those men, but it will take time.”

“What?” The mayor’s puzzled expression quickly turned to fear. “No, wait, we don’t want them dead, or even kicked in the shin! If that happened the duke would send more with a bigger bill for us to pay. We just need you to be scary.”

“I think he can do that,” a man in the crowd said. Others nodded.

Gus was about to clarify that he meant drive off the soldiers, not kill them, but before he could Mayor Praise pointed at a distant hill or possibly a small mountain. There were the ruins of a castle at the top. It was in fair shape, with undamaged walls and mostly intact roofs on the towers and keep.

“That’s Castle Wolf Fang. It was abandoned after the No Battles War. See, the king of the time decided to catch his enemies by surprise by marching an army through Miasma Swamp and hitting them before they were ready. It saved three weeks off his travel time and half his men caught bone break fever. Surviving men took shelter in Castle Wolf Fang, where they spread it to the garrison. The few who survived fled and surrendered to an enemy army, spreading the fever again. Long story short, the war ended with heavy losses on both sides and not a single battle fought, and nobody’s lived in Wolf’s Fang ever since. We’d like you to move in.”

“To what end?”

“The king’s soldiers are really good at not fighting,” the mayor said. Gus tilted his head to one side, and the mayor went on. “They swagger around with their armor and weapons, telling people to do what they’re told or bad things could happen. But if there’s a real fight, one they might lose, they do a tactical retreat, which is running away without being executed for cowardice.”

“That fits with my experience with armies.” Gus had seen armies go months without pay and weeks without food until they stole and ate everything in sight. While that was mostly poor logistics and leadership, there were a lot of soldiers who spent their entire careers looking impressive without ever fighting an armed man. Normally that was a good thing, but when they needed to fight they didn’t, sneaking off unless they were sure of an overwhelming victory.

“Once I tell them about the terrible monster living nearby, they won’t want to come here because they’d be expected to fight you, or risk you coming into the city after them,” the mayor continued. “That’s dangerous. Plus the king stopped offering bounties years ago after soldiers made up phony monsters to ‘kill’ for gold. And if we say you have no treasure to take there’s no reason to fight you. They’ll find an excuse to be quartered somewhere else and we won’t get stuck paying them and getting pushed around.”

“Exactly how long do you want me to do this?” Gus asked.

“A couple years at least. We’ll pay you by the month and you don’t have to do anything besides make an appearance when outsiders show up as proof you live here. And there are bonuses.”

Gus perked up. “Bonuses?”

Mayor Praise handed Gus papers detailing his payments. “There are minor threats in the area who agreed to swear loyalty to you. They’re mostly pests looking for protection. We’ll pay you a monthly fee for each one that signs up with you, because then we won’t have to deal with anymore. Plus there are women of questionable morals in the area happy to partner with a powerful monster.”

Gus paged through the papers. “Quite a few such women.”

“It’s embarrassing, I know, but I’m told it’s like that wherever you go.”

Gus kept paging. “Not anywhere I’ve been. You know I charge by the month, right? My fee is going to be staggering if I stay here for years.”

“Not compared to the soldiers.” Mayor Praise handed Gus a balance sheet showing the price for housing and paying a hundred soldiers versus hiring one monster. As a former certified public accountant, Gus appreciated how much detail the mayor had gone to. Gus’ fee for three years of service was high, and nowhere near what quartering a hundred soldiers for the same time was.

“Do you want me to do anything else for this money? Hunt bandits, kill wolves, entertain at children’s parties?”

Mayor Praise shrugged. “If you want to, but what we really need is a big scary monster in residence. I know of two other cities with their own monsters, and they’re as happy as can be. I understand it even improves tourism.”

“What if adventurers wander into town?”
“We’ll tell them you have a tragic backstory and pay them to hunt bandits. So, do we have a deal?”

Gus looked at the hopeful faces of thousands of Lemet’s people, men and women who’d decided having a monster was a good thing. Gus was wanted here. Nobody had wanted him around even when he’d been fully human. It felt…good. He looked up at the ruins of Castle Wolf Fang, which honestly just needed light repairs and a fresh coat of paint. It was rent free, too.

“Mayor, you’ve got yourself a monster.”