Stephanie Lahart's Blog

An enlightening and empowering passage for women and girls about online dating websites, chat rooms, dating apps, sex trafficking, and MORE.

Let’s talk about online dating websites! If you’re thinking about giving it a try, I want you to be aware and safe. Keep in mind that just because you come across a profile with a handsome picture and a captivating about me section doesn’t make this guy a great catch. You hear all the time how some women lucked up and found their boyfriend or husband, but that’s not the case for everyone. Please be mindful that not all men on there are genuine. You have some men that try to scam women. You have some men that are secretly married claiming that they’re single. You have some men that are dating another woman, but they’re going through a rough patch and are trying to see what’s out there. You have some men that are predators. And you also have some men searching for women that they can pimp out.

Also, please be mindful that fake profiles are VERY real. Anybody can sit behind a computer, search the computer, download attractive images, and write a great bio for themselves. Don’t be so easily flattered by what you see, because it can all be bogus. Until you speak with them on the phone or meet up with them in person… that’s if you feel comfortable enough to meet up, then you really don’t have a full picture of what this person is like. That’s why I strongly suggest that you not be in a rush! Take your time to feel him out over the phone before you meet him in person. And I’m not just talking about after one or two conversations, either. Remember: At the end of the day, he’s a stranger! Yes, he might come off as a great guy, but you just never know. Converse with him about various topics to get a good feel for who he is. I encourage you to be an attentive listener, too. People will often say things without realizing it. TIP! Really pay attention to what he likes to talk about? What do you hear?

Be mindful not to overtalk… What I mean by this is don’t be so eager to overshare too soon. Again, you don’t know just yet who you’re dealing with. Not to scare you… but serial killers, rapists, stalkers, and all other sorts of whack jobs are on dating websites, too. Don’t be afraid to ask questions that are important to you. If they try to avoid your questions, get irritated with the questions that you’re asking, or if you detect any kind of attitude: Please do NOT ignore the signs. Meet up in a public place! Do not go to his home, nor should you invite him to your home for the first time meeting up. I don’t recommend that! Do not ignore your gut… Allow it to lead, guide, and PROTECT you. Please be mindful of all I’ve talked about when it comes to dating apps, too… The same goes!

Let’s talk briefly about chat rooms! Many people of all ages log into chat rooms for all sorts of reasons… To make new friends, build relationships, to vent, and of course, you guessed it, predators are on here, too. So, with that being said, be mindful of what kind and how much information you’re giving out. People from all over the world create these accounts, so you don’t know who you’re really chatting with. You may think you’re talking to this really awesome guy but, in actuality, he’s nothing that he’s portraying online. And please listen to me carefully if you’re a young adult woman reading this book… I don’t care how cool some of these guys or girls may seem, keep in mind that you’re on the internet, and it’s filled with people that want nothing more than to manipulate. They come off as nice, fun, outgoing, down-to-earth, trustworthy, great listeners, and everything else under the sun; but at the end of the day, underneath it all, some people are VERY deceitful. Don’t be manipulated by giving out your address or other personal information, period! I know a lot of young adults go on here to vent and get things off of their chest, but again, you don’t really know who you’re venting to. You could be offering up too much information that’ll put you in a vulnerable position.

If you’re chatting with somebody and they’re asking you detailed questions about yourself, your family, what school you go to, etc… STOP and think! If they ask you to sneak out and meet them, STOP and think! If they ask you to come to their home, but don’t let anybody else know… STOP and think! Being a young adult can be tough, but nothing will be worse than you never being seen or heard from again. Everybody online is NOT your friend.

Let’s talk about sex trafficking! Young girls and women ALL over the world are forced into sex trafficking every day. Please don’t think that it could never happen to you, because it could. That’s why I’m writing this passage to help keep you safe and aware!

There’s nothing wrong with going out having a good time, but if you enjoy going to clubs, bars, house parties, hanging out, etc… Keep in mind that everybody is NOT who they may seem to be. Even if your friends introduce you to somebody, don’t be so quick to take their word. Get to know people for yourself. Sex traffickers are EVERYWHERE… Both men and women. They blend in just like everybody else, because they are just like everybody else. They are fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins, students, coworkers, friends… And even people that hold very high positions. I know some of you are shocked to hear that women do this too, but they do. If you’re a runaway, you’re at-risk. If you’re in a group home or in the foster care system, you’re at-risk. If you’re a prostitute, you’re at-risk. If you have low self-esteem, you’re an easy target. They know you want to feel loved and wanted, so they’ll start the grooming process to gain your trust and respect. They know that most likely you’ve already suffered sexual, physical, and/or mental abuse. They know that a lot of girls and women have abandonment issues and no real support system. They know all of this! That’s why at first, they make you feel loved, special, and wanted, but it’s all a part of their plan.

And please understand this… It doesn’t just happen to the kind of girls and women that I’ve mentioned above! It happens to girls and women that just somehow got caught up and didn’t see or pay attention to the signs. It could also happen to any girl or woman who’s going about their daily activities. The mall, school, movie theaters, and other popular establishments are easy hunting grounds, too. It doesn’t matter what kind of family you come from, the type of life you’ve lived, or the choices you did or didn’t make. You could become a victim as well. Sex trafficking doesn’t discriminate!

Keep your eyes WIDE open… The internet is flooded with sex traffickers, too! It’s easy to hide behind a screen and search for their next victims. Again, don’t be so easily flattered! That “like” that you just got on your picture could be from a sex trafficker. That comment that just made you smile from ear to ear could be from a sex trafficker. That beautiful direct message that you just read could be from a sex trafficker. That friend request that you just accepted could be from a sex trafficker. That person you barely know who just invited you to a party could be a sex trafficker. That event that you’re SO excited to attend could be connected to a sex trafficker. That person that just followed you on all of your social media accounts could be a sex trafficker. The possibilities are endless!

Be mindful of men who seem too good to be true. Be mindful of girls or women that try to lure you into doing things that just don’t seem right. Be careful when you’re out and about having a good time; NEVER drink something that you didn’t see being made or didn’t open yourself. Be mindful of males and females that promise you a better life by going off with them. In this day and time, it pays to be mindful of every damn thing!

Sex trafficking is evil… No one should have to ever endure this kind of wickedness! I’m about to get graphic for a moment, but I need you to get it! I want you to understand the horrible things that people go through, and there’s nothing that they can do about once they’re taken. Note: Don’t forget that sex trafficking is a horrible thing that happens to boys and men as well, however, for the sake of consistency in this passage, I’ll be focusing on girls and women.

Girls and women are being beaten, drugged, and tortured if they don’t comply or if they don’t meet their so-called quota. Their bodies are no longer their own! They are made to do any and everything with their bodies, all for their trafficker’s love for money and power. There is plenty of money to be made, and by any means necessary, those girls’ and women’s bodies will be used and abused over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Their vagina, anus, and mouth are abused daily for other people’s pleasure. Could you imagine this being YOUR truth? Lured or taken away just to be abused daily. Your every move is controlled. Imagine the cries and screams of other girls and women. Imagine listening to other girls and women being tortured. Imagine your body feeling exhausted and tired, but you’re still forced to perform. Imagine being on your period and still being forced to do the unthinkable. Imagine your body being tattooed with a name, slogan, saying, and/or design to show that you are someone’s property. That’s a way of showing their ownership of you… You’re branded like slaves. What do you think they’ll do to your body should you overdose, die of natural causes, or they decided to kill you? They’d get rid of your body like you’re trash!

Sex trafficking is real, and girls and women get lured, taken, or caught up all over the world. Please do your best to keep yourself safe! If you’re someone with young daughters, nieces, cousins, etc… Please talk to them about this, too… It’s imperative to educate them!

Sex trafficking is a VERY lucrative business, so you will always have predators on the lookout for fresh girls and women. With that being said, pay attention! If something doesn’t feel right, believe what you’re feeling. Be protective of yourself like your life depends on it, because it does! Look after yourself! Educate yourself! Be vigilant for yourself!

For the females reading this that may battling with low self-esteem, abuse issues, the feeling of emptiness, and yearning for love and attention… Don’t fall victim to these predators! You’ve been warned… No, they don’t really love you! No, they don’t really care for you! No, they’re NOT going to take care of you and give you a better life with all of the glitz and glam that they promised you! No, they’re NOT going to give you the world! No, they’re NOT going to help you get on your feet or get you an amazing job! The only traveling you’re going to be doing is to places where they can make money off of YOU. That’s right! Selling your body and doing whatever else they demand you to do. They will make all kinds of promises to get you to go off with them… DON’T DO IT… It’s a trap!

I’m going to bring this passage to an end by saying, “Encourage yourself, believe in yourself, and LOVE yourself. Never doubt who you are.” No matter how hopeless you may be feeling, YOU matter. I encourage you to reach out for help instead of going off with pimps and sex traffickers. There’s nothing good in this for you. Please believe that YOU count. Search the internet for legitimate help for people in your circumstances; search for shelters, programs, and organizations in your area. Speak up, and let someone you trust know what’s going on and that you need help. There is help… don’t be afraid to utilize it. You don’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed. Just get the help that you need! There are people who genuinely care for you, and their passion is to help you. Living a street life does NOT have to be your reality… Fight for YOU.

Written by Stephanie Lahart: Author & Poet

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Did you get value out of this passage? Buy my book: BEFORE YOU COMMIT. This is one of the passages from that book. Available on Amazon: eBook and Paperback

Death is 100% sure
To visit us all
One day, afternoon, or evening.
Don’t wait to celebrate
Your family and friends
When they can no longer hear you.

Show and communicate how much you genuinely
Love, appreciate, and care for them, NOW.
Hug more. Kiss more. Laugh more. Listen attentively.
Give more attention. Spend more time. Call more.
Compliment often. Always show affection!

Create memorable memories with the ones you love…
For when they close their eyes and take their last breath,
You want them to know without a doubt
How endlessly they were loved, and
How greatly they’ll be missed.

Written by Stephanie Lahart! Black Female Author and Poet, Youth Motivational Speaker for At-Risk Teens, Teen Mentor, and Entrepreneur.

A Woman’s number one relationship goal
Should be with herself first.
How a woman sees herself
Will set the standard of how she allows men to treat her.
She’s got to make herself a priority,
And know that it’s okay!

Women need NOT to be so easily
Flattered by what a man has,
But instead be flattered by his
Strength, courage, integrity, and character.
Be impressed by his ability to be
Honest, faithful, loving, and respectful.
Be impressed because he can
Communicate and openly express his feelings with you.

Be impressed because he’s got
Confidence,
Direction,
And purpose in his life.
Be impressed because he’s a
Quality man, NOT a handsome man.
His looks should be a bonus, NOT the main factor.

Don’t compromise yourself and stay in an unhealthy relationship that causes you hurt, pain, and disappointment.
You are worthy of genuine love, ladies!
Save your love for someone who TRULY
Deserves it, appreciates it, and wants it.
Don’t disrespect yourself by lowering your standards
And accepting his foul behavior…
You absolutely do NOT deserve to be treated like
You don’t matter… You DO matter.

Your happiness and well-being are important…
Protect it by always valuing who you are!

It takes a special King to love
His Queen properly…
To value her as the Woman she is
And NOT take advantage of her.

Don’t be in a rush, ladies…
You want a man that’s going to spoil you differently!

Be patient and wait on a man that spoils you with his
Love, honesty, and commitment.
His respect, honor, and appreciation.
His attentiveness.
His kindness, understanding, and genuine love.
You want a man that you can create memorable memories with.

Have confidence in yourself!
Love yourself, flaws and all!
Be kind to yourself!
See the best in yourself!
Celebrate yourself!
Know that you are worthy of authentic love!

Just say NO to
Dead-end, unhealthy, and toxic relationships.
You are a Queen!

Protect your heart.
Protect your smile.
Protect your happiness.
Protect your peace of mind.
Don’t destroy yourself over
A man’s foolishness.

Don’t get caught up
Simply because you’re
Bored, lonely, or
Lacking in self-esteem.

Know your worth, Queen…
Respect, love, and value yourself…
You matter!!!

Written by Stephanie Lahart! Black Female Author and Poet, Youth Motivational Speaker for At-Risk Teens, Teen Mentor, and Entrepreneur.

Dear Black Parents…
I encourage you to love your children properly!

Give them gifts that TRULY matter.
The gift of being a positive role model.
The gift of showing them what genuine love looks and feels like.
The gift of spending quality time with them.
The gift of making them feel wanted and loved.
The gift of open and honest communication.
The gift of hearing and listening to them.
The gift of guidance, support, and friendship.

Our Black boys and Black girls
Matter, and they deserve our VERY best.
It’s up to us to raise
Empowered black children!
We’ve got to make sure that we’re investing in our children
By preparing, teaching, educating, and empowering them!

Let’s teach our children that having a good education is POWER.
Let’s teach our children that they CAN buy and own their own property.
Let’s teach our children about entrepreneurship and business.
Let’s teach our children about the importance of building and maintaining excellent credit.
Let’s teach our children about the importance of saving and investing.
Let’s teach our children to NOT be afraid to use their voice.
Let’s teach our children to respect themselves.

Let’s teach our children the importance of being accountable for their actions.
Let’s teach our children to be strong, resilient, and NOT easily influenced.
Let’s teach our children to be leaders NOT followers.
Let’s teach our children about alcohol and drug addiction.
Let’s teach our children about mental health.
Let’s teach our children the importance of eating nutritious foods, exercising, and taking care of their health.

Black fathers and Black mothers…
We’ve got to teach them!

Our children are PRICELESS.

Make a commitment to yourself that you will NOT
Mentally, physically, or emotionally abuse your children.
Make a commitment to NOT bully, belittle, or manipulate your children.
Make a commitment to break generational curses in your family.
Don’t pass on your hurt, pain, and disappointments to your children.
Give them a fair chance!

Let’s raise Black Kings and Black Queens
That represent Black Excellence!
Let’s set them up for greatness by investing
In them early on in life!
Let’s raise our children with unconditional love!
Celebrate them…
Let them know that they matter, and
That they’re important!

Written by Stephanie Lahart! Black Female Author and Poet, Youth Motivational Speaker for At-Risk Teens, Teen Mentor, and Entrepreneur.

Empowering Black Families | Black Fathers | Black Mothers | Black Dads | Black Moms | Black Fatherhood | Black Motherhood

Some people will not believe in you,
But you’d better not be one of them.
Some people may not see your full potential,
But you’d better not be one of them.
Some people may question your capabilities,
But you’d better not be one of them.
Some people will purposely overlook you,
But that’s okay, it’s THEIR loss.
Some people will not be supportive of you,
And they will speak negative and hurtful words.

Know Who You Are!
DON’T BE DISCOURAGED… PERSEVERE.

ENCOURAGE yourself,
BELIEVE in yourself, and
LOVE yourself…
Never doubt who you are.

Always think highly of yourself!
Always know that you matter!
Always know that your voice matters!
Always know that you are worth it!
Always give yourself a chance!
Always know that you can and will succeed!

Written by Stephanie Lahart! Black Female Author and Poet, Youth Motivational Speaker for At-Risk Teens, Teen Mentor, and Entrepreneur.

Black women and Black girls
Are exquisitely beautiful in EVERY shade.
From the lightest
To the darkest skin tone
Our melanin is incomparable!

We were beautifully created…
And make no mistake about it
Our complexions are envied by many.

Oh, yes
Black woman and Black girl
Your skin tone is brilliant!

I encourage you to
Like
Love
And Celebrate yourself!

Admire the skin you’re in
Because your Black is
Exquisite…
Your skin is a representation of
Natural beauty!

Hold your head up high
And represent your complexion
With confidence and pride!
Know that the skin you were born in
Was phenomenally made!

Written by Stephanie Lahart! Black Female Author and Poet, Youth Motivational Speaker for At-Risk Teens, Teen Mentor, and Entrepreneur.

She’s a Black woman
An Unapologetic Exquisite Black Queen
Who’s got
Confidence
Fearlessness
Resilience, and
Strength
Running through her veins.

She’s a rare gem…
Phenomenally made!
She doesn’t need the spotlight,
She is the light wherever she goes.

People from every background
Are in awe of her
Because she’s got that special something!
She commands attention without even trying
With the way she walks, talks, and carries herself
As the powerful Black woman that she is!

Her inner beauty
Gleams from the inside out
Shining brilliantly like an Excellent cut diamond
With flawless clarity.

Her outer beauty is just a bonus!
SHE IS GREATNESS.

Strong sense of self
Authentic
Leader
Intelligent
Innovative
Kind
She’s a quality woman
With substance and integrity!

She’s not afraid to use her voice
To speak HER truth or THE truth
A bold woman she is…
Using her voice to
Empower, inspire, motivate, and educate.

She’s a Black woman that rocks on a PHENOMENAL level.
She’s an Unapologetic Exquisite Black Queen…
She is ME.

I won’t apologize for being Exquisite!

Written by Stephanie Lahart! Black Female Author and Poet, Youth Motivational Speaker for At-Risk Teens, Teen Mentor, and Entrepreneur.

“It’s so easy and convenient to buy our children gifts, but I encourage and challenge you to give them gifts that TRULY matter. The gift of unconditional love. The gift of encouragement. The gift of support. The gift of friendship. The gift of communication, understanding, and patience. The gift of guidance and support. The gift of quality time. And the gift of loving them for who THEY are. Material things are nice, but NOTHING compares to genuine love! Parenting should be taken seriously. Our children matter, and they deserve our VERY best. Responsible parenting rocks!” ― Stephanie Lahart

Black Marriage Poems | Happily Married Black Couples | Inspirational Black Love | Black Power Couples | Black Kings and Queens

His dick was unlike anything that
I had ever experienced before
And I was VERY intrigued
By what I saw… His

Dignity
Intelligence
Confidence, and
Kindness

Was what initially attracted me to him
But that was just the tip of what he had to offer
His ability to love me unconditionally
Is admirable

The respect, love, and appreciation
That he shows me daily is incomparable
My King knows how to love his Queen properly

He is My
Husband, Best Friend, and Business Partner
18 plus years and counting

My King is Exquisite
From the inside out
I’m extremely blessed
His love for me is priceless

- Stephanie Lahart

"His Tongue Was One of His Greatest Qualities" | An Inspirational Relationship Poem About Love | Love Poems for Her and Him | Couples Poems | Love Relationship Poems

His tongue was one of his greatest qualities

He knew exactly how to use it with me

Encouraging, kind, and loving words

Flowed freely and frequently from his lips

Always inspiring me to upgrade my thinking

His tongue spoke life into me

Awakening gifts in me that I didn’t know existed

He used his tongue wisely

Truth be told

He’s part of the reason why I am me

Exquisite, Powerful, Fearless, and Unapologetic

I’ll be forever grateful for his genuine love

- Stephanie Lahart