H.M.C.'s Blog

I’ve been working with children for a long while and have never really figured out how to teach appreciation everyday with little ones. A chance conversation gave me an idea.

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I had a wonderful weekend away with hubby. We went ALL THE WAY up to Mount Tamborine (a whopping 20 minutes away from where we live). We had a great time eating at cafes and sleeping in!

One of the highlights was definitely the Antiques and Oddities ‘shack’ we  thought we might mosey on into.

This is Keith being like an “American Picker” except that we couldn’t actually buy anything.

There were two reasons we couldn’t buy anything that day: the first being that we’re renting while we build so I have NO SPACE for new stuff. And secondly, we’re building, so we have no money to spend anyway. Otherwise, I would have come home with a boat load of extremely cool and quirky bits.

This little baby, The Grave Digger, would have been my first offer, but I don’t think she was for sale. She comes fitted with your own personal coffin. Super!

Wandering into the United States of MERCA

Please excuse my original attire from the set of GAME OF THRONES — I feel a little overdressed. (Yes, I would wear this in public).

OLD BOOKS. Nuff said.

This stuff was so gorgeous. I could have easily spent hundreds. I’m not sure if any of it was functional, but WOW!

Oh, I say, young chap, would you like some skulls with your medical instruments? Don’t mind if I do!

Creepy doll alert! Yes, there were a few. I promise not to buy one. Pediophobia is a real thing, people.

These would be gorgeous all cleaned up.

This fridge is around a tonne, but it’s goin’ straight to the pool room.

There’s a huge possibility that we’ll head back there when the time comes to decorate our new house. Not sure everyone will love the décor, but hey, not many people would LOVE Antiques and Oddities like Keith and I did. We weren’t too sure about the stuffed doberman or the carved satanic goat’s heads, but each to their own.

It was a highlight of our visit and I recommend you take a peek inside, even for interest’s sake.

HMC

Originally posted on Don Miskel:

There is nothing more flattering than to have my work held in such high esteem by a fellow scribbler. That’s a LOT for a horror novel featuring flesh-eating rascals and some much-deserving prey… LOL! Anyway, you can judge for yourself when you pick up a copy and share your thoughts. For the time being, here’s HMC’s review of my novel, Dead Assets:

http://www.hmcwriter.com/dead-assets-and-wyrmwood-road-of-the-dead/#comment-18366

View original

Zombies Done to Death? That’s the way I like it.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get sick of zombies, vampires, witches, and werewolves. To me, they’re like writing about love or doing a comedy. It’s good, clean (well, not really clean) fun. There is only one thing that will make me switch off a movie or close a book and that’s a pissweak storyline. So if you’re over zombies, stop now, turn around, and take a kick in the pants, but keep in mind you’ll be missing out on some cool stuff.

DEAD ASSETS is a horror by Don Miskel, and it’s not the first time this author has captured my attention. I read one of his collaborative, short stories in an anthology a while back. Is this a book of short stories?

Yes … wait, no!

It isn’t really. Not if you look closely. Dead Assets is a collection of recounts from people experiencing the beginning of a zombie apocolypse, cleverly woven together with news stories, and common threads. What makes it interesting are the variety of perspectives, my favourite being Part Three: Soliliqy, from the perspective of a doctor turning zombie. Yep. Cool.

You’ll likely have your own favourite amongst these treasures. This type of book works perfectly for a mamma on the go, like me, who can only read in short spurts at a time.

What I love most about Dead Assests is the grit. Miskel is not afraid to share the gory details of blood and entrails. Much like my next happy, fun-time, zombie suggestion…

Holy, good lord, thigh-slapping laugh-out loud, wrongness!

This movie is hilarious. It’s gross, gritty, disturbing, and so full of swearing it makes Chopper Reid sound like Mike Brady (rest both their souls). So if you’re all right with gore, guns, and mayhem, if you think Australians are hilarious (check all four) then give this awesome Indie film a chance. You won’t be sorry!

Synopsis (IMDB)

Barry is a talented mechanic and family man whose life is torn apart on the eve of a zombie apocalypse. His sister, Brooke, is kidnapped by a sinister team of gas-mask wearing soldiers & experimented on by a psychotic doctor. While Brooke plans her escape Barry goes out on the road to find her & teams up with Benny, a fellow survivor – together they must arm themselves and prepare to battle their way through hordes of flesh-eating monsters in a harsh Australian bushland.

Watch the trailer!



Get your freakin’ zombie on!

PEACE

HMC

Get DEAD ASSETS HERE

Get WYRMWOOD HERE

I love tattoos.

I have since I was twelve years old, and I started copying them out of magazines in the motorcycle garage belonging to a friend of the family. It’s how I learned to draw. Well, how I got started, anyway. The moment I found out you could create a piece of art, put it on your body, and it would stay there, I was in awe. And I was definitely getting one. One day.

I had my angel drawn and ready to go when I was 16, and got it at 18. My ‘two year rule’ started from there. You see, people regret tattoos sometimes, and I don’t want to end up one of those people. My rule is I can’t get a tattoo done unless I’ve liked the idea for over two years. It’s why I only have a few, and I’m not yet covered.

I often have people stare, and not always in a good way, but most of the time, I don’t really care. People need to understand something about those that have tattoos, piercings, and body mods.

To some, TATTOOS ARE BEAUTIFUL.

They are wonderful, sexy, scary, and awesome. And frankly, I find people with tattoos more attractive. You prefer blondes, slim women, or chicks with big boobs? Great, I like tatts. You prefer hair swept to the side, coutoure, stiletos? Great, I love piercings. They’re hot.

Another thing people ask is, what about work? I choose to keep my tattoos covered at work, and there are even some days I wear tops to hide them on purpose when out and about. Some days I just want to keep them to myself. It’s the same thing as deciding, ‘hey, do I feel like showing a little big of leg today? Nah, not in the mood.’ OR ‘yeah, let’s get them out, I’m feeling sassy.’

One of our recent library books. Too cute!

I’m also teaching my daughter about tattoos. She sees them as something quite normal in our family, but soon she’ll start to overhear comments from others, and I want her to know I stand firm in my beauty beliefs. I want her to know beauty is an idea, and everyone’s ideas are different.

I’ll never forget when a tutor of mine told us all (during psychology) that all people with tattoos are insecure. He’d not seen mine, obviously. I found it an interesting idea, and recall thinking to myself … ‘sure, I’m insecure. We all are to some extent. Isn’t it funny how I’m pigeon-holed like that for my ideas about beauty and art?’ I approached him after the tutorial and he stood firm that tattoos are for those who need outside recognition. I was never going to change his mind. I realised then, I didn’t need to. You see, he was never going to change mine either. It was the very first time in my life I ever truly agreed to

‘Mother Earth.’ My daughter calls her a mermaid.

disagree.

The world is a magical place because of our differences. Our ideas about beauty

will never be aligned. It’s the same as our idea about religion, marriage, and parenting. When you see someone with tattoos, piercings, or body mods and can’t quite seem to understand how or why they would do that to themselves, try to remember … they can’t understand why you wouldn’t!

PEACE

HMC

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HMCWriter:

My latest short story :)

Originally posted on Out of Print:

 I knew the GLB46 Program was wrong. But I had a choice, be wrong, or lose my mind.

Nessy dragged me to the car. I couldn’t quite remember why I was angry at her, so I pulled in the opposite direction toward our waterside mansion where I’d rather be in front of my big-screen TV. Almost bowled her backward at one stage. Poor old girl. I was stubborn as an old nail, and I wasn’t coming out for her. Not today. My shows were on. She was making me miss my shows. San Tracey Murdock was about to shoot the bad guy, and he’d been aiming all season. Damned if I’d miss it. Damned woman!

‘Get in the car, you buggar!’ She pulled my arm. Strong grasp this one. I taught her that. Was all right to be a strong girl. Nothin’ wrong with being able to beat up the…

View original 2,349 more words

The good thing about my two and a half year-old daughter, Charlotte, is that she’s fierce.

The bad thing is … she’s fierce.

Raising a fiery girl can be tiresome, but at the end of the day, I can put my feet up and safely say I’m proud to be her mamma.

Battle on!

Charlie in her new raincoat. She wouldn’t take it off in 40- degree heat. I had to bribe her.

Dinnertime Death Match

This would be funny, except that all she wants are honey sandwiches or cake. Can it be activated manuka honey on multigrain with nutalex and a glass of fruit and vege juice? You bet. But it had better be a bloody sandwich … or a cake.

Charlotte: 1

Mummy: 0

Toilet Tug-O-War

Peeing is boring, apparently. Like,  “Imma scream the house down if you make me pee,” boring. Unless of course, Mummy plays ‘toilet choo choo train’ and piggy backs me there.

Charlotte: 1

Mummy: 0

I’m far too cool for you, Mum.

Mother of the Year

Charlotte is so protective of her baby brother that she knows what he needs better than I do.  If I include her in the process, life is just so much easier.

Charlotte: 1

Mummy: 1

Jack and Charlie at the park. She’s telling Jack what he’s allowed to eat.

Don’t Touch my Music

If I have to listen to Dorothy the Dinosaur sing that damn Doctor song one more time I’m gonna…

Charlotte: 10

Mummy: – 10

Shower Power

I’ve never met a person who despises having a shower more than her. And she prefers them to baths. Probably because she can tetter at the edge, dipping body parts in every now and then, and pretending she’s clean.

Charlotte: 1

Mummy: 0

On the other hand, having a fierce little miss for a daughter is an absolute blessing, and I wouldn’t have her any other way.

Breezy Baby

She can sit for over half an hour on an activity.

Charlotte: 1

Mummy: 10

Miss Clever

She wants to know everything, and soaks it all up.

Charlotte: 1

Mummy: 10

Book Worm Nanna

She can read for an hour.

Charlotte: 1

Mummy: 10

Bedtime Beauty

She sleeps like a dream.

Charlotte: 1

Mummy: 50

After Dreamworld with Nanna and Pop.

Miss Independent

She wants to know how to do everything, and tries her best, even when things get hard.

Charlotte: 10

Mummy: 10

At Southbank.

Sissy Sweetheart

I wish I had her for a big sister. She’s an absolute sweetheart.

Charlotte: 1

Mummy: 100

My little munchkin might be fierce, but I still win. Sometimes all I have to do is remind myself it’s worth the battle.

Charlie and Daddy dancing at Nanna’s 80th.

PEACE HMC

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Dear Hay House,

I’m writing in regards to your self-publishing branch known as ‘Balboa Press.’ It has come to my attention that you provide packages for authors to self-publish their work with a chance of being picked up by Hay House. What a deal! Your hook is, “Follow the Footsteps of Louise Hay.”

I’ve been a fan of Louise L Hay since I was fifteen when I first read: You Can Heal Your Life. Louise has been an inspiration to me, and therefore, I had a natural trust in her publishing company, Hay House. Balboa Press seems like a wonderful idea for those with unsolicited manuscripts wanting to get their work seen.

FIRSTLY

You have no information on your site. Authors have to ‘sign up.’ It’s obvious you’re a vanity press from the get go.

SECONDLY

You have created packages for authors which they are not allowed to see until they’ve signed up. This is the first red flag.

THIRDLY

You are charging THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS to publish your authors. While this is normal for a vanity press, due to all the ‘people hours’ you put in, you don’t even offer editing. That’s extra. So what exactly are you offering for that amount? A piddly PDF to help with marketing, a front cover, an ISBN, printing set-up and an EBook? Is that it? Really? Please feel free to respond and let me know, because I’m pretty sure I could do all that for about $200.

LASTLY

And this is the REAL KICKER, you want royalties. Um … excuse me?

No.

You either get A: upfront payments OR B: Royalties. Not both. That’s just plain greedy, and rude.

I’ve seen plenty of other presses try this on, including Zeus Publications on the Gold Coast, Australia.

It’s criminal. It’s disgusting. I’m appalled. So, I’ll be thinking twice before I purchase another work from Hay House, and I hope others will, too.

Please make some changes.

Sincerely

HMC

PS Dear Readers, if you know of any presses who are similar, please post them below. Also, if you’re looking to publish, always check the PREDITORS AND EDITORS website before selecting a publisher to submit to: CLICK HERE to see PRED ED

For more HMC stuffs and thingamabobs, go to http://www.hmcwriter.com

The Downfall of Diets

DISCLAIMER: Josie Spinardi’s (lifetime dieter gone intuitive) book, How to have your Cake and Wear your Skinny Jeans, too: http://www.amazon.com/Have-Your-Cake-Skinny-Jeans-ebook/dp/B00B9JKNBC inspired this blog. I highly recommend it for those trying to reconnect with their bodies, and who want to fall back in love with food.

I’ve been a dieter since I was young, ridiculously young. And I can safely say, from decades of experience, they don’t work for me.

Diets will not make me a healthy person.

For the past few years my relationship with food has been evolving. Frankly, I’d had enough of seeing food as the enemy. Wasn’t it supposed to nourish and sustain me, not give me night terrors? Argh! The giant donuts are coming to eat me! Why was food a difficult thing? I was so good with money, loved my career, had a phenomenal family life, and wonderful friends. I had SO much love to give, why, oh why, couldn’t I just have a healthy, loving relationship with food?

So, I dug up some stuff. Boy was there stuff.

Thoughts, habits, fears. All revolving around food. ALL of my beliefs, rules, regiments, came from outside of me. Diet, out of control, diet, out of control, back on a diet! And so the yo yo goes. I’d trained myself into thinking that everyone else knew my body better than I did, and so I’d better follow their rules, considering I’m SO OUT OF CONTROL and don’t know what I’m doing.

A magic thing happened recently, as it tends to do in my life, and my invisible fairy God Mother directed me towards Intuitive Eating. I knew I had to mine this thing to make sure it wasn’t another diet in disguise. See, I’ve been changing for a while now, and I was ready for this. I was ready to reconnect, and to fall back in love with food. Dieters think they love food too much, but really, we make it our worst enemy. Our poor beautiful bodies suffer, too.

Anyway, turns out intuitive eating is kind of the ‘opposite’ of dieting. Sounds scary for some of us.

It’s where you only eat when you’re hungry, you stop when you’re full, you listen to your body, and eat what you want or crave. In fact, intuitive eating directs all of your choices within. You actually listen to your body. Your body knows exactly what you need, and it tells you so.

WHAT? I hear all us dieters out there laughing our arses off, saying yeah … good luck with that. My body wants Chocolate Mud Cake – stat.

But no, actually. It doesn’t. Your head does. Intuitive eating teaches you to listen. I’ve always believed my body was able to do incredible things. Now, it’s time I let it.

The main point that GOT me, was that dieting makes us unlearn how to trust the innate and perfect system, and rely on outside rules that may not even be right for us.

HERE is my favourite quote from Spinardi’s book:

“Relying on your body’s signals to guide your eating unshackles all the energy you currently spend agonising over food.”

WOW!!!

Just wow.

And another:

“When deprivation is not involved, not only do the pounds stay put, but feelings of powerlessness soar.”

Is this woman talking directly to me?

Here’s more about intuitive eating if you’re interested: http://www.intuitiveeating.com/content/what-intuitive-eating

You have to be ready, though. Ready to understand dieting may not ever work for you, ready to love food again, ready to be afraid because you’re not on a diet, ready to catch yourself falling back into the diet mentality, and ready to look at your past, head on with a cricket bat in hand.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. So if you’re a long term yo yoer, take a moment to ask yourself. Is this way of living making you happy? Because if it isn’t, there’s another way.

I’ve still got work to do, and I still have plenty to learn. But I’ve never felt so liberated. Today, I stopped eating lunch when I was satisfied, not when my plate was empty. Amazing. I FORGOT there were cupcakes in my cupboard. That, a few weeks ago, would have been unfathomable.

I don’t even know who I am anymore… in a good way.

PEACE

HMC

Other recommended reading: Geneen Roth’s Women Food and God: https://kindle.amazon.com/work/women-food-god-unexpected-everything-ebook/B002EJ6ZWC/B003FS0K40

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Hammered by GN Braun

You know when you watch a movie or read a book and it stays with you, like the Titanic, or Once Were Warriors? Well for me, Hammered is going to be one of those books. To the tune of Candy (a movie I’ll never forget) with a male protagonist who happens to be sharing his true story, Hammered is revealing, raw, and filled with the stuffing of a mother’s nightmare.

It begins with Joe’s trip into childhood, the early abuse, and how drugs saved him. Isn’t it always the way? Drugs and alcohol help push the pain deep down, so what’s left on the surface is a human being who can function rather than fall apart, live rather than die – for now.

What I love about Hammered is not just the grit, or the heartache, but the honesty. GN Braun doesn’t hold back; he tells it all, the theft, the lies, everything. And that’s just the story line.

Braun’s writing is another thing. It’s to the point, visual, and extremely well-edited. Kudos to LegumeMan Books.

Kids get passed Go Ask Alice when they hit around 12 – I was one of them. I’d consider Hammered instead, as long as you don’t mind some serious Ps and Qs. It covers all the drugs, it’s a real account, and it leaves enough to the imagination, rather than delving into the dank and dirty (think Trainspotting) that will scar them for life.

Thanks to GN Braun for putting it out there. Hammered is a very highly recommended read for all Aussies.

PEACE

HMC

PS This is one of my older poems. Reading Hammered dredged it up. Most people ask me if it’s about someone else I know.

It isn’t.

MASCULINE

She crawled out of her cesspool to take another breath.

Alcohol, heroin, violence, death.

A busted-up, cataclysmic all-in-brawl.

Get ya gloves on baby, ’cause this is war.

She fought like a demon to escape the pen,

And once out she never went back again.

Followed her dreams, and despite all else,

Found a place where she could grow, rediscover herself.

Now she’s all grown up and you’d never know,

This sweet flower grew from a violent home.

So against all odds a femininity springs,

From a wall built up by the masculine.