Gerald Maclennon's Blog - Posts Tagged "death"
Johnny Cash Tribute Night
Often do I feel sorry for the musician and his labor of sweet heartfelt songs as certain tables of gathered peeps seek to drown him out... but that's the way the world works. My kids can tell you just as much. The singer did a fine anthology of Johnny's music sans a fill-in June. But his and Johnny's final song, "Hurt" didn't fully convey the sadness it deserved... due to the aforementioned. It's a song for loneliness anyway. And the insult of aging. "I hurt myself today to see if I still feel." https://youtu.be/vt1Pwfnh5pc
2020 Anno Domini
An apology to my readers for my two month absence from this, my blog. No matter how much one tries to avoid end of year holidays, one is still sucked in and impoverished.
2020, the year of perfect vision... truthfully, I never thought I would achieve it! After nearly dying 5 years ago and having a major cystoprostatectomy 4 years ago, I figured, "Okay, the Master of the Universe gave me another year or two to get my affairs in order and then I'm out of here."
Because I made mental preparation for death, I can't let it go. I think about death everyday. My shipmate, John McCain, developed brain cancer and died in 2018. Alex Trebek, longtime host of TV's Jeopardy, is currently dealing with the finality of his pancreatic cancer. In an interview, he said that now his life is no longer open-ended.
Trebek can see his own demise approaching. In all decades previously, he lived the myth of eternal life in the flesh... seeing people all around dying but never wanting to believe it could actually happen to Alex.
In years long past, the Hindu scripture, Bhagavad Gita, defined this myth as one of our greatest mysteries... not the dying part but of cherishing and protecting the idea that we won't -- that I amongst all am the golden monkey.
If I addressed all the theories of life beyond the grave, this blog would run 10 pages or more. So, I'll leave it in the realm of personal belief.
I am nearing February 16, 2020 when my body odometer reads 73 years of use and abuse. This 1947 Homo Sapiens is experiencing systemic breakdown. O-O-O O'Reilly's carries no parts for my year, make and model. Parts would have to be salvaged in the manner of Dr. Frankenstein, or handcrafted in a specialty shop but those suckers are priced in Warren Buffet's range. Not in mine.
In January 2019, we celebrated the birthday of my girl, Sandy, as she turned 70. In the year 2020, I will celebrate my birthday, Lord willing, in the Pacific Northwest with my girls: daughter Jessica and granddaughter Stella (and mi yerno, Ryan). Stella will be 10 on January 28th. Jessica will be 50 on May 24. Sis will become 70 on July 21. Had she lived, Mum and my biological father, Harry Dean, and my Step-Dad Cady would have all turned 95. (Jeff is eagerly awaiting next year 2021.)
For this old Vietnam Vet Hippie, I obey the Wheel of Life, the Great Mandala. And... for those born in the New Millennium, a brave new world awaits. And the beat goes on, the beat goes on.
2020, the year of perfect vision... truthfully, I never thought I would achieve it! After nearly dying 5 years ago and having a major cystoprostatectomy 4 years ago, I figured, "Okay, the Master of the Universe gave me another year or two to get my affairs in order and then I'm out of here."
Because I made mental preparation for death, I can't let it go. I think about death everyday. My shipmate, John McCain, developed brain cancer and died in 2018. Alex Trebek, longtime host of TV's Jeopardy, is currently dealing with the finality of his pancreatic cancer. In an interview, he said that now his life is no longer open-ended.
Trebek can see his own demise approaching. In all decades previously, he lived the myth of eternal life in the flesh... seeing people all around dying but never wanting to believe it could actually happen to Alex.
In years long past, the Hindu scripture, Bhagavad Gita, defined this myth as one of our greatest mysteries... not the dying part but of cherishing and protecting the idea that we won't -- that I amongst all am the golden monkey.
If I addressed all the theories of life beyond the grave, this blog would run 10 pages or more. So, I'll leave it in the realm of personal belief.
I am nearing February 16, 2020 when my body odometer reads 73 years of use and abuse. This 1947 Homo Sapiens is experiencing systemic breakdown. O-O-O O'Reilly's carries no parts for my year, make and model. Parts would have to be salvaged in the manner of Dr. Frankenstein, or handcrafted in a specialty shop but those suckers are priced in Warren Buffet's range. Not in mine.
In January 2019, we celebrated the birthday of my girl, Sandy, as she turned 70. In the year 2020, I will celebrate my birthday, Lord willing, in the Pacific Northwest with my girls: daughter Jessica and granddaughter Stella (and mi yerno, Ryan). Stella will be 10 on January 28th. Jessica will be 50 on May 24. Sis will become 70 on July 21. Had she lived, Mum and my biological father, Harry Dean, and my Step-Dad Cady would have all turned 95. (Jeff is eagerly awaiting next year 2021.)
For this old Vietnam Vet Hippie, I obey the Wheel of Life, the Great Mandala. And... for those born in the New Millennium, a brave new world awaits. And the beat goes on, the beat goes on.
Delirium
Wrestling with Angels: An Anthology of Prose & Poetry
1951. Little Gerald was 4 years old and sick as a dog. I don't remember which childhood disease I had contracted, but it pretty much sapped all of my energy. My mother had made a bed for me in the living room of our Red Oak, Iowa apartment and was doing everything in her power to relieve the symptoms of the illness. I was sweating profusely. My pajamas were soaked. My body was so hot that normal air chilled my skin and made me shiver. It was summer but I had a blanket covering me. Mom would place a thermometer in my mouth at least once every hour.
The last thing I remember before entering delirium was Mom crying out to Dad, "Good Lord, Neal! His fever is up to 105 degrees! Call the doctor again!"
Deep within that delirium, I had a terrifying vision. I saw multiplication of things, both large and small... and some microscopic. A little boy doesn't have words to describe such visions, but I watched it as if it was a motion picture being projected on the screen of my mind.
Today, I can describe it as something similar to an amoeba reproducing by dividing into two, and then those two dividing into four. In turn, those 4 amoeba became 8. You get the idea. The division continued with increasing speed 8 to 16, 16 to 32, 32 to 64. Soon there were hundreds, then thousands, then millions, then billions. The image in my mind was filled to overflowing with this exponentially growing mass. I couldn't explain it to Mom or Dad. I kept the horrifying vision in the archives of my mind until I reached adulthood.
Then, one day I knew. We are destroying our own species and taking along thousands of others as we upset the balance of nature, the cycles of life, all that the Creator had made perfect in the beginning.
In my delirium I saw the shape of things to come. In the year 1950 the world’s population was approximately 2.5 billion human beings. As I write this in 2009, the population has leaped to around 6 billion. We are the delirium. The nightmare is us.
How long can earth's natural resources sustain out-of-control breeders reproducing like bunnies just to prove their virility. Men such as these strain our planet’s carrying capacity – taking, consuming but rarely giving anything of value back. Instead they loot us all of a future. And then, will the plagues and pandemics begin.
Referring to the human race, Earth scientist Dr. Louis Turi stated the dilemma quite well, “Mother Earth does not need us. When she is ready to heal herself, she will do so, even if it means the extinction of man.”
I know. That's not very encouraging.
Gerald Logan-MacLennon, 62, Rio Grande Valley, Texas 2009
1951. Little Gerald was 4 years old and sick as a dog. I don't remember which childhood disease I had contracted, but it pretty much sapped all of my energy. My mother had made a bed for me in the living room of our Red Oak, Iowa apartment and was doing everything in her power to relieve the symptoms of the illness. I was sweating profusely. My pajamas were soaked. My body was so hot that normal air chilled my skin and made me shiver. It was summer but I had a blanket covering me. Mom would place a thermometer in my mouth at least once every hour.
The last thing I remember before entering delirium was Mom crying out to Dad, "Good Lord, Neal! His fever is up to 105 degrees! Call the doctor again!"
Deep within that delirium, I had a terrifying vision. I saw multiplication of things, both large and small... and some microscopic. A little boy doesn't have words to describe such visions, but I watched it as if it was a motion picture being projected on the screen of my mind.
Today, I can describe it as something similar to an amoeba reproducing by dividing into two, and then those two dividing into four. In turn, those 4 amoeba became 8. You get the idea. The division continued with increasing speed 8 to 16, 16 to 32, 32 to 64. Soon there were hundreds, then thousands, then millions, then billions. The image in my mind was filled to overflowing with this exponentially growing mass. I couldn't explain it to Mom or Dad. I kept the horrifying vision in the archives of my mind until I reached adulthood.
Then, one day I knew. We are destroying our own species and taking along thousands of others as we upset the balance of nature, the cycles of life, all that the Creator had made perfect in the beginning.
In my delirium I saw the shape of things to come. In the year 1950 the world’s population was approximately 2.5 billion human beings. As I write this in 2009, the population has leaped to around 6 billion. We are the delirium. The nightmare is us.
How long can earth's natural resources sustain out-of-control breeders reproducing like bunnies just to prove their virility. Men such as these strain our planet’s carrying capacity – taking, consuming but rarely giving anything of value back. Instead they loot us all of a future. And then, will the plagues and pandemics begin.
Referring to the human race, Earth scientist Dr. Louis Turi stated the dilemma quite well, “Mother Earth does not need us. When she is ready to heal herself, she will do so, even if it means the extinction of man.”
I know. That's not very encouraging.
Gerald Logan-MacLennon, 62, Rio Grande Valley, Texas 2009
Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Afterlife
Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Afterlife -- by Eban Alexander
Upon completion of this book (13 Apr 2017) I didn't know quite what to think of the good doctor's journey into the unknown. It seemed more like hell than it did heaven. I experienced the same feeling of spiritual betrayal that I had after watching director Tim Burton's Beetlejuice (1988) starring Michael Keaton. Such an existential emptiness... I felt sorry for impressionable youth exposed to such cinematic heresy.
On 13 Apr 2017, I wrote a letter to Dr. Eban Alexander - hoping against all hope he would reply. But he didn't.
My letter comments follow:
Regarding your decision, doctor, to use "Om", I propose the Hebrew Yod-Hey-Vav-Hey or YHVH more accurately conveys the nature of the Self-Existent One. I propose that Prince of Egypt, Moshe, knew precisely why he chose that triple verb conjugation of hayah (to be; exist). Defined, it means essentially "I was, I am, I always will be." There is no gender assignment. It is spirit. It defies concepts of time and space, as you experienced, and later tried to explain in words that seemed inadequate, the "awe of the Core". In my opinion, it is the universal connectedness of everything, as you suggested... as quark mechanics theorizes.
Doctor, there is much more depth to Judaism than what is presented to the world; so too the Jewish Rabbi bearing the name of Yesha-Yah-u (meaning, the liberation of spirit provided by YHVH).
In 2014, I was near death but came back. Why? I don't know for sure but I think my small army of prayer warriors had something to do with it.
Academically, I am no one special. I am not a worldly success story by any stretch. Still, I feel a certain kinsmanship with you because of our experiential similarities.
There was a secondary formal name the Deity conveyed to Moshe. It was, "Aehyeh Asher Aehyeh" meaning "I am continually becoming what I am becoming". To most people that would seem like gibberish but I have a hunch you understand exactly what it means. I do.
- Gerald Edward Logan d/b/a Gerald MacLennon
Upon completion of this book (13 Apr 2017) I didn't know quite what to think of the good doctor's journey into the unknown. It seemed more like hell than it did heaven. I experienced the same feeling of spiritual betrayal that I had after watching director Tim Burton's Beetlejuice (1988) starring Michael Keaton. Such an existential emptiness... I felt sorry for impressionable youth exposed to such cinematic heresy.
On 13 Apr 2017, I wrote a letter to Dr. Eban Alexander - hoping against all hope he would reply. But he didn't.
My letter comments follow:
Regarding your decision, doctor, to use "Om", I propose the Hebrew Yod-Hey-Vav-Hey or YHVH more accurately conveys the nature of the Self-Existent One. I propose that Prince of Egypt, Moshe, knew precisely why he chose that triple verb conjugation of hayah (to be; exist). Defined, it means essentially "I was, I am, I always will be." There is no gender assignment. It is spirit. It defies concepts of time and space, as you experienced, and later tried to explain in words that seemed inadequate, the "awe of the Core". In my opinion, it is the universal connectedness of everything, as you suggested... as quark mechanics theorizes.
Doctor, there is much more depth to Judaism than what is presented to the world; so too the Jewish Rabbi bearing the name of Yesha-Yah-u (meaning, the liberation of spirit provided by YHVH).
In 2014, I was near death but came back. Why? I don't know for sure but I think my small army of prayer warriors had something to do with it.
Academically, I am no one special. I am not a worldly success story by any stretch. Still, I feel a certain kinsmanship with you because of our experiential similarities.
There was a secondary formal name the Deity conveyed to Moshe. It was, "Aehyeh Asher Aehyeh" meaning "I am continually becoming what I am becoming". To most people that would seem like gibberish but I have a hunch you understand exactly what it means. I do.
- Gerald Edward Logan d/b/a Gerald MacLennon
Open Letter to Dr Eban Alexander Regarding His Book About Dying and Going to Heaven: Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Afterlife
Upon completion of this book (13 Apr 2017) I didn't know quite what to think of the good doctor's journey into the unknown. It seemed more like hell than it did heaven. I experienced the same feeling of spiritual betrayal that I had after watching director Tim Burton's Beetlejuice (1988) starring Michael Keaton. Such an existential emptiness... I felt sorry for impressionable youth exposed to such cinematic heresy.
On 13 Apr 2017, I wrote a letter to Dr. Eban Alexander - hoping against all hope he would reply. But he didn't. The letter comments:
Regarding your decision, doctor, to use "Om", I propose the Hebrew Yod-Hey-Vav-Hey or YHVH more accurately conveys the nature of the Self-Existent One. I propose that Prince of Egypt, Moshe, knew precisely why he chose that triple verb conjugation of hayah (to be; exist). Defined, it means essentially "I was, I am, I always will be." There is no gender assignment. It is spirit. It defies concepts of time and space, as you experienced, and later tried to explain in words that seemed inadequate, the "awe of the Core". In my opinion, it is the universal connectedness of everything, as you suggested... as quark mechanics theorizes.
Doctor, there is much more depth to Judaism than what is presented to the world; so too the Jewish Rabbi bearing the name of Yesha-Yah-u (meaning, the liberation of spirit provided by YHVH).
In 2014, I was near death but came back. Why? I don't know for sure but I think my small army of prayer warriors had something to do with it.
Academically, I am no one special. I am not a worldly success story by any stretch. Still, I feel a certain kinsmanship with you because of our experiential similarities.
There was a secondary formal name the Deity conveyed to Moshe. It was, "Aehyeh Asher Aehyeh" meaning "I am continually becoming what I am becoming". To most people that would seem like gibberish but I have a hunch you understand exactly what it means.
Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Afterlife
On 13 Apr 2017, I wrote a letter to Dr. Eban Alexander - hoping against all hope he would reply. But he didn't. The letter comments:
Regarding your decision, doctor, to use "Om", I propose the Hebrew Yod-Hey-Vav-Hey or YHVH more accurately conveys the nature of the Self-Existent One. I propose that Prince of Egypt, Moshe, knew precisely why he chose that triple verb conjugation of hayah (to be; exist). Defined, it means essentially "I was, I am, I always will be." There is no gender assignment. It is spirit. It defies concepts of time and space, as you experienced, and later tried to explain in words that seemed inadequate, the "awe of the Core". In my opinion, it is the universal connectedness of everything, as you suggested... as quark mechanics theorizes.
Doctor, there is much more depth to Judaism than what is presented to the world; so too the Jewish Rabbi bearing the name of Yesha-Yah-u (meaning, the liberation of spirit provided by YHVH).
In 2014, I was near death but came back. Why? I don't know for sure but I think my small army of prayer warriors had something to do with it.
Academically, I am no one special. I am not a worldly success story by any stretch. Still, I feel a certain kinsmanship with you because of our experiential similarities.
There was a secondary formal name the Deity conveyed to Moshe. It was, "Aehyeh Asher Aehyeh" meaning "I am continually becoming what I am becoming". To most people that would seem like gibberish but I have a hunch you understand exactly what it means.
Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Afterlife
