Kris Calvert's Blog

Dear November,

I feel a little awkward addressing this now—I mean, you’re almost gone. What began as a welcomed hangover from the warm summer quickly turned to an icy chill in your early days. But as expected, you came back to us with lukewarm sunshine and nights filled with damp air that reminded me with each breath that I was alive. The brilliant colors of your leaves and their crunch under my boots gave me pause this year because you, November, are always the beginning of the end. 

By the time you slip away, the leaves will be gathered in piles on the ground, and the once full limbs that held the lush green and balmy summer wind will be stripped bare–save for the hope of springtime.

You are that short month between Halloween candy and Holiday everything. And I’m sorry to say it, but sometimes you’re overshadowed by both. It’s not like you aren’t gorgeous. You are. But your predecessor is also beautiful and to be honest, October is like September's random plus-one. You know, not really invited, but fun and down to party.

There is one thing you have over the other eleven months. You, November, have a day dedicated to simply giving thanks.

In fact one woman, Sarah Josepha Hale (a writer of course), made it her life’s work to bug the hell out of every state governor and President Lincoln, until he proclaimed your very last Thursday to be a national holiday. A day dedicated solely to appreciating one another while counting our blessings.

“We are already spread and mingled over the Union,” Sarah wrote. “Each year, by bringing us oftener together, releases us from the estrangement and coolness consequent on distance and political alienations; each year multiplies our ties of relationship and friendship. How can we hate our Mississippi brother-in-law? And who is a better fellow than our wife’s uncle from St. Louis? If Maine itself be a great way off, and almost nowhere, on the contrary, a dozen splendid fellows hail from Kennebec County, and your wife is a down-Easter. And although she never puts down her phone—behaving as though she’s the lead doctor on a transplant team awaiting a kidney—we love her all the same, bless her heart.”

Okay, that last part is me taking creative license. Regardless, Sarah knew what was up. She understood the brother-in-law from Mississippi was a pain in the ass who’d come for dinner without bringing a damn thing to the pot luck. And that was okay. And the wife’s uncle? The crazy one from St. Louis? He was showing up at Thanksgiving dinner with his opinions and attitude over a century ago. This too was not the worst thing that could ever happen. Why? Because Sarah knew what we tend to forget: our differences are what make us the amazing human race we are. 

Yes, she knew you well, my sweet November. In the midst of a country that seemed to have gone mad, Ms. Hale understood that once a year we all need to chill the **** out and count our blessings. She understood that on your last Thursday, we could choose compassion. We could mindfully engage in the aspects of our lives that bring us joy, focusing not on what is wrong with ourselves or the world, but what is right. Centering our existence not around our differences, but our commonalities. For one day, we could be thankful for everyone in our own tiny speck of existence—even those who are here to teach us hard lessons about life as well as ourselves.

So, here’s my promise to you, November—you sweet little month jam-packed with leftover fun-sized Snickers, Black Friday sales, cheesy Hallmark movies, fried turkey, Jell-o molds, football and basketball: I won’t let you slip away and into my personal Christmas season without being grateful for the people who love me as I am, and my many blessings—especially on your final Thursday. I promise my November workout will be to flex my compassion muscle with greater tenacity in your final days, while encouraging others to do the same. And like the tree limbs you stripped bare with your chilly wind, I’ll stand on hope that our planet will continue to turn with His help, bringing new life and grace into our world. In spite of us all.


Thanks November. See you next year.

Best,


KC

p.s. I adore all of my brother-in-laws
and none hail from Mississippi. :)




*Kris Calvert is the author of twenty Suspense, Thriller and Romance novels.  If you'd like a free book not sold in stores, click here: FREE BOOK - WITHIN A LIFE by Kris Calvert
See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List

Pearls don���t lie on the shore. If you want one, you must dive for it. ���Chinese proverb

It���s coming. The day you either adore with your adorable other or the day you dread as a singleton. Valentine���s Day.

I was a single person for a very long time. A very long time. I���ve been with a significant other to celebrate Valentine���s Day and I���ve also been alone���utterly alone. It was in the alone years that I learned how to navigate holidays because let���s face it, I wasn���t just alone on February 14th, I was alone on all the other holidays too. And what I figured out over the years of sometimes being alone and sometimes not, was that on the so-called holidays that were meant for lovers, i.e. Sweetest Day and Valentine���s Day, it was more important to love myself.

So each year when I was alone, I did this little exercise where I wrote down all the things I liked about myself, such as: I���m a woman of independent means and I don���t need a man to take care of me financially. Or: I not only love sports, I understand and know sports. I would also take the time to write down what it was I was looking for in another person. It���s been said if you put out into the world what you want, the universe will listen. The key to this is actually putting it out there. So I did. I wanted someone who was as driven as I was, had an amazing sense of humor and was creative and intelligent in ways that I was not.

So many times I will see on social media men and women publicly declaring their depression because they���re single. STILL single. But I must say, whining about it doesn���t bring the perfect soulmate into your world. The more you focus on all the things you don���t want in a man or woman, the more those very undesirable attributes show up in potential mates. I���m not just saying this, I���m speaking from experience. Girls, if you continue to say, I don���t want a self-centered player who won���t commit. Guess what? That���s exactly who will show up.

Guys, if you keep saying, I don���t want a crazy woman who���s possessive and smothers me to death. You got it, she���s going to keep knocking down your door.

How many times have you or your friends said, I���m a loser-magnet. Or, only the crazy chicks want to date me. The more you say it, the more they show up because you���re focusing on what you don���t want instead of what you do.

So this Valentine���s Day, do yourself a favor. Don���t feel alone or sad. Don���t eat your weight in sweets or feel sorry for yourself when the flowers start rolling into your workplace. Make your list. Put some positive vibes out into the world and see what happens. Intentions are powerful. Use them wisely.

As for me, I found my perfect person. It took a long time and I waded through a lot of heartache to get there. But when it happens what you discover is you don���t need a particular date like February 14th to celebrate love. Every day is Valentine���s Day when you truly love someone.

*Kris Calvert is an author of Thrillers, Romantic Suspense and Contemporary Romance.

See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List
Join her Facebook Group here: Kris Calvert's Books & Bits

Pearls don’t lie on the shore. If you want one, you must dive for it. –Chinese proverb

It’s coming. The day you either adore with your adorable other or the day you dread as a singleton. Valentine’s Day.

I was a single person for a very long time. A very long time. I’ve been with a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’ve also been alone—utterly alone. It was in the alone years that I learned how to navigate holidays because let’s face it, I wasn’t just alone on February 14th, I was alone on all the other holidays too. And what I figured out over the years of sometimes being alone and sometimes not, was that on the so-called holidays that were meant for lovers, i.e. Sweetest Day and Valentine’s Day, it was more important to love myself.

So each year when I was alone, I did this little exercise where I wrote down all the things I liked about myself, such as: I’m a woman of independent means and I don’t need a man to take care of me financially. Or: I not only love sports, I understand and know sports. I would also take the time to write down what it was I was looking for in another person. It’s been said if you put out into the world what you want, the universe will listen. The key to this is actually putting it out there. So I did. I wanted someone who was as driven as I was, had an amazing sense of humor and was creative and intelligent in ways that I was not.

So many times I will see on social media men and women publicly declaring their depression because they’re single. STILL single. But I must say, whining about it doesn’t bring the perfect soulmate into your world. The more you focus on all the things you don’t want in a man or woman, the more those very undesirable attributes show up in potential mates. I’m not just saying this, I’m speaking from experience. Girls, if you continue to say, I don’t want a self-centered player who won’t commit. Guess what? That’s exactly who will show up.

Guys, if you keep saying, I don’t want a crazy woman who’s possessive and smothers me to death. You got it, she’s going to keep knocking down your door.

How many times have you or your friends said, I’m a loser-magnet. Or, only the crazy chicks want to date me. The more you say it, the more they show up because you’re focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do.

So this Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favor. Don’t feel alone or sad. Don’t eat your weight in sweets or feel sorry for yourself when the flowers start rolling into your workplace. Make your list. Put some positive vibes out into the world and see what happens. Intentions are powerful. Use them wisely.

As for me, I found my perfect person. It took a long time and I waded through a lot of heartache to get there. But when it happens what you discover is you don’t need a particular date like February 14th to celebrate love. Every day is Valentine’s Day when you truly love someone.

*Kris Calvert is an author of Thrillers, Romantic Suspense and Contemporary Romance.

See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List
Join her Facebook Group here: Kris Calvert's Books & Bits

Pearls don’t lie on the shore. If you want one, you must dive for it. –Chinese proverb

It’s coming. The day you either adore with your adorable other or the day you dread as a singleton. Valentine’s Day.

I was a single person for a very long time. A very long time. I’ve been with a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’ve also been alone—utterly alone. It was in the alone years that I learned how to navigate holidays because let’s face it, I wasn’t just alone on February 14th, I was alone on all the other holidays too. And what I figured out over the years of sometimes being alone and sometimes not, was that on the so-called holidays that were meant for lovers, i.e. Sweetest Day and Valentine’s Day, it was more important to love myself.

So each year when I was alone, I did this little exercise where I wrote down all the things I liked about myself, such as: I’m a woman of independent means and I don’t need a man to take care of me financially. Or: I not only love sports, I understand and know sports. I would also take the time to write down what it was I was looking for in another person. It’s been said if you put out into the world what you want, the universe will listen. The key to this is actually putting it out there. So I did. I wanted someone who was as driven as I was, had an amazing sense of humor and was creative and intelligent in ways that I was not.

So many times I will see on social media men and women publicly declaring their depression because they’re single. STILL single. But I must say, whining about it doesn’t bring the perfect soulmate into your world. The more you focus on all the things you don’t want in a man or woman, the more those very undesirable attributes show up in potential mates. I’m not just saying this, I’m speaking from experience. Girls, if you continue to say, I don’t want a self-centered player who won’t commit. Guess what? That’s exactly who will show up.

Guys, if you keep saying, I don’t want a crazy woman who’s possessive and smothers me to death. You got it, she’s going to keep knocking down your door.

How many times have you or your friends said, I’m a loser-magnet. Or, only the crazy chicks want to date me. The more you say it, the more they show up because you’re focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do.

So this Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favor. Don’t feel alone or sad. Don’t eat your weight in sweets or feel sorry for yourself when the flowers start rolling into your workplace. Make your list. Put some positive vibes out into the world and see what happens. Intentions are powerful. Use them wisely.

As for me, I found my perfect person. It took a long time and I waded through a lot of heartache to get there. But when it happens what you discover is you don’t need a particular date like February 14th to celebrate love. Every day is Valentine’s Day when you truly love someone.

*Kris Calvert is an author of Thrillers, Romantic Suspense and Contemporary Romance.

See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List
Join her Facebook Group here: Kris Calvert's Books & Bits

Pearls don’t lie on the shore. If you want one, you must dive for it. –Chinese proverb

It’s coming. The day you either adore with your adorable other or the day you dread as a singleton. Valentine’s Day.

I was a single person for a very long time. A very long time. I’ve been with a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’ve also been alone—utterly alone. It was in the alone years that I learned how to navigate holidays because let’s face it, I wasn’t just alone on February 14th, I was alone on all the other holidays too. And what I figured out over the years of sometimes being alone and sometimes not, was that on the so-called holidays that were meant for lovers, i.e. Sweetest Day and Valentine’s Day, it was more important to love myself.

So each year when I was alone, I did this little exercise where I wrote down all the things I liked about myself, such as: I’m a woman of independent means and I don’t need a man to take care of me financially. Or: I not only love sports, I understand and know sports. I would also take the time to write down what it was I was looking for in another person. It’s been said if you put out into the world what you want, the universe will listen. The key to this is actually putting it out there. So I did. I wanted someone who was as driven as I was, had an amazing sense of humor and was creative and intelligent in ways that I was not.

So many times I will see on social media men and women publicly declaring their depression because they’re single. STILL single. But I must say, whining about it doesn’t bring the perfect soulmate into your world. The more you focus on all the things you don’t want in a man or woman, the more those very undesirable attributes show up in potential mates. I’m not just saying this, I’m speaking from experience. Girls, if you continue to say, I don’t want a self-centered player who won’t commit. Guess what? That’s exactly who will show up.

Guys, if you keep saying, I don’t want a crazy woman who’s possessive and smothers me to death. You got it, she’s going to keep knocking down your door.

How many times have you or your friends said, I’m a loser-magnet. Or, only the crazy chicks want to date me. The more you say it, the more they show up because you’re focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do.

So this Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favor. Don’t feel alone or sad. Don’t eat your weight in sweets or feel sorry for yourself when the flowers start rolling into your workplace. Make your list. Put some positive vibes out into the world and see what happens. Intentions are powerful. Use them wisely.

As for me, I found my perfect person. It took a long time and I waded through a lot of heartache to get there. But when it happens what you discover is you don’t need a particular date like February 14th to celebrate love. Every day is Valentine’s Day when you truly love someone.

*Kris Calvert is an author of Thrillers, Romantic Suspense and Contemporary Romance.

See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List
Join her Facebook Group here: Kris Calvert's Books & Bits

Pearls don’t lie on the shore. If you want one, you must dive for it. –Chinese proverb

It’s coming. The day you either adore with your adorable other or the day you dread as a singleton. Valentine’s Day.

I was a single person for a very long time. A very long time. I’ve been with a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’ve also been alone—utterly alone. It was in the alone years that I learned how to navigate holidays because let’s face it, I wasn’t just alone on February 14th, I was alone on all the other holidays too. And what I figured out over the years of sometimes being alone and sometimes not, was that on the so-called holidays that were meant for lovers, i.e. Sweetest Day and Valentine’s Day, it was more important to love myself.

So each year when I was alone, I did this little exercise where I wrote down all the things I liked about myself, such as: I’m a woman of independent means and I don’t need a man to take care of me financially. Or: I not only love sports, I understand and know sports. I would also take the time to write down what it was I was looking for in another person. It’s been said if you put out into the world what you want, the universe will listen. The key to this is actually putting it out there. So I did. I wanted someone who was as driven as I was, had an amazing sense of humor and was creative and intelligent in ways that I was not.

So many times I will see on social media men and women publicly declaring their depression because they’re single. STILL single. But I must say, whining about it doesn’t bring the perfect soulmate into your world. The more you focus on all the things you don’t want in a man or woman, the more those very undesirable attributes show up in potential mates. I’m not just saying this, I’m speaking from experience. Girls, if you continue to say, I don’t want a self-centered player who won’t commit. Guess what? That’s exactly who will show up.

Guys, if you keep saying, I don’t want a crazy woman who’s possessive and smothers me to death. You got it, she’s going to keep knocking down your door.

How many times have you or your friends said, I’m a loser-magnet. Or, only the crazy chicks want to date me. The more you say it, the more they show up because you’re focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do.

So this Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favor. Don’t feel alone or sad. Don’t eat your weight in sweets or feel sorry for yourself when the flowers start rolling into your workplace. Make your list. Put some positive vibes out into the world and see what happens. Intentions are powerful. Use them wisely.

As for me, I found my perfect person. It took a long time and I waded through a lot of heartache to get there. But when it happens what you discover is you don’t need a particular date like February 14th to celebrate love. Every day is Valentine’s Day when you truly love someone.

*Kris Calvert is an author of Thrillers, Romantic Suspense and Contemporary Romance.

See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List
Join her Facebook Group here: Kris Calvert's Books & Bits

Pearls don’t lie on the shore. If you want one, you must dive for it. –Chinese proverb

It’s coming. The day you either adore with your adorable other or the day you dread as a singleton. Valentine’s Day.

I was a single person for a very long time. A very long time. I’ve been with a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’ve also been alone—utterly alone. It was in the alone years that I learned how to navigate holidays because let’s face it, I wasn’t just alone on February 14th, I was alone on all the other holidays too. And what I figured out over the years of sometimes being alone and sometimes not, was that on the so-called holidays that were meant for lovers, i.e. Sweetest Day and Valentine’s Day, it was more important to love myself.

So each year when I was alone, I did this little exercise where I wrote down all the things I liked about myself, such as: I’m a woman of independent means and I don’t need a man to take care of me financially. Or: I not only love sports, I understand and know sports. I would also take the time to write down what it was I was looking for in another person. It’s been said if you put out into the world what you want, the universe will listen. The key to this is actually putting it out there. So I did. I wanted someone who was as driven as I was, had an amazing sense of humor and was creative and intelligent in ways that I was not.

So many times I will see on social media men and women publicly declaring their depression because they’re single. STILL single. But I must say, whining about it doesn’t bring the perfect soulmate into your world. The more you focus on all the things you don’t want in a man or woman, the more those very undesirable attributes show up in potential mates. I’m not just saying this, I’m speaking from experience. Girls, if you continue to say, I don’t want a self-centered player who won’t commit. Guess what? That’s exactly who will show up.

Guys, if you keep saying, I don’t want a crazy woman who’s possessive and smothers me to death. You got it, she’s going to keep knocking down your door.

How many times have you or your friends said, I’m a loser-magnet. Or, only the crazy chicks want to date me. The more you say it, the more they show up because you’re focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do.

So this Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favor. Don’t feel alone or sad. Don’t eat your weight in sweets or feel sorry for yourself when the flowers start rolling into your workplace. Make your list. Put some positive vibes out into the world and see what happens. Intentions are powerful. Use them wisely.

As for me, I found my perfect person. It took a long time and I waded through a lot of heartache to get there. But when it happens what you discover is you don’t need a particular date like February 14th to celebrate love. Every day is Valentine’s Day when you truly love someone.

*Kris Calvert is an author of Thrillers, Romantic Suspense and Contemporary Romance.

See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List
Join her Facebook Group here: Kris Calvert's Books & Bits

Pearls don’t lie on the shore. If you want one, you must dive for it. –Chinese proverb

It’s coming. The day you either adore with your adorable other or the day you dread as a singleton. Valentine’s Day.

I was a single person for a very long time. A very long time. I’ve been with a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’ve also been alone—utterly alone. It was in the alone years that I learned how to navigate holidays because let’s face it, I wasn’t just alone on February 14th, I was alone on all the other holidays too. And what I figured out over the years of sometimes being alone and sometimes not, was that on the so-called holidays that were meant for lovers, i.e. Sweetest Day and Valentine’s Day, it was more important to love myself.

So each year when I was alone, I did this little exercise where I wrote down all the things I liked about myself, such as: I’m a woman of independent means and I don’t need a man to take care of me financially. Or: I not only love sports, I understand and know sports. I would also take the time to write down what it was I was looking for in another person. It’s been said if you put out into the world what you want, the universe will listen. The key to this is actually putting it out there. So I did. I wanted someone who was as driven as I was, had an amazing sense of humor and was creative and intelligent in ways that I was not.

So many times I will see on social media men and women publicly declaring their depression because they’re single. STILL single. But I must say, whining about it doesn’t bring the perfect soulmate into your world. The more you focus on all the things you don’t want in a man or woman, the more those very undesirable attributes show up in potential mates. I’m not just saying this, I’m speaking from experience. Girls, if you continue to say, I don’t want a self-centered player who won’t commit. Guess what? That’s exactly who will show up.

Guys, if you keep saying, I don’t want a crazy woman who’s possessive and smothers me to death. You got it, she’s going to keep knocking down your door.

How many times have you or your friends said, I’m a loser-magnet. Or, only the crazy chicks want to date me. The more you say it, the more they show up because you’re focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do.

So this Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favor. Don’t feel alone or sad. Don’t eat your weight in sweets or feel sorry for yourself when the flowers start rolling into your workplace. Make your list. Put some positive vibes out into the world and see what happens. Intentions are powerful. Use them wisely.

As for me, I found my perfect person. It took a long time and I waded through a lot of heartache to get there. But when it happens what you discover is you don’t need a particular date like February 14th to celebrate love. Every day is Valentine’s Day when you truly love someone.

*Kris Calvert is an author of Thrillers, Romantic Suspense and Contemporary Romance.

See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List
Join her Facebook Group here: Kris Calvert's Books & Bits

Pearls don’t lie on the shore. If you want one, you must dive for it. –Chinese proverb

It’s coming. The day you either adore with your adorable other or the day you dread as a singleton. Valentine’s Day.

I was a single person for a very long time. A very long time. I’ve been with a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’ve also been alone—utterly alone. It was in the alone years that I learned how to navigate holidays because let’s face it, I wasn’t just alone on February 14th, I was alone on all the other holidays too. And what I figured out over the years of sometimes being alone and sometimes not, was that on the so-called holidays that were meant for lovers, i.e. Sweetest Day and Valentine’s Day, it was more important to love myself.

So each year when I was alone, I did this little exercise where I wrote down all the things I liked about myself, such as: I’m a woman of independent means and I don’t need a man to take care of me financially. Or: I not only love sports, I understand and know sports. I would also take the time to write down what it was I was looking for in another person. It’s been said if you put out into the world what you want, the universe will listen. The key to this is actually putting it out there. So I did. I wanted someone who was as driven as I was, had an amazing sense of humor and was creative and intelligent in ways that I was not.

So many times I will see on social media men and women publicly declaring their depression because they’re single. STILL single. But I must say, whining about it doesn’t bring the perfect soulmate into your world. The more you focus on all the things you don’t want in a man or woman, the more those very undesirable attributes show up in potential mates. I’m not just saying this, I’m speaking from experience. Girls, if you continue to say, I don’t want a self-centered player who won’t commit. Guess what? That’s exactly who will show up.

Guys, if you keep saying, I don’t want a crazy woman who’s possessive and smothers me to death. You got it, she’s going to keep knocking down your door.

How many times have you or your friends said, I’m a loser-magnet. Or, only the crazy chicks want to date me. The more you say it, the more they show up because you’re focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do.

So this Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favor. Don’t feel alone or sad. Don’t eat your weight in sweets or feel sorry for yourself when the flowers start rolling into your workplace. Make your list. Put some positive vibes out into the world and see what happens. Intentions are powerful. Use them wisely.

As for me, I found my perfect person. It took a long time and I waded through a lot of heartache to get there. But when it happens what you discover is you don’t need a particular date like February 14th to celebrate love. Every day is Valentine’s Day when you truly love someone.

*Kris Calvert is an author of Thrillers, Romantic Suspense and Contemporary Romance.

See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List
Join her Facebook Group here: Kris Calvert's Books & Bits

Pearls don’t lie on the shore. If you want one, you must dive for it. –Chinese proverb

It’s coming. The day you either adore with your adorable other or the day you dread as a singleton. Valentine’s Day.

I was a single person for a very long time. A very long time. I’ve been with a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’ve also been alone—utterly alone. It was in the alone years that I learned how to navigate holidays because let’s face it, I wasn’t just alone on February 14th, I was alone on all the other holidays too. And what I figured out over the years of sometimes being alone and sometimes not, was that on the so-called holidays that were meant for lovers, i.e. Sweetest Day and Valentine’s Day, it was more important to love myself.

So each year when I was alone, I did this little exercise where I wrote down all the things I liked about myself, such as: I’m a woman of independent means and I don’t need a man to take care of me financially. Or: I not only love sports, I understand and know sports. I would also take the time to write down what it was I was looking for in another person. It’s been said if you put out into the world what you want, the universe will listen. The key to this is actually putting it out there. So I did. I wanted someone who was as driven as I was, had an amazing sense of humor and was creative and intelligent in ways that I was not.

So many times I will see on social media men and women publicly declaring their depression because they’re single. STILL single. But I must say, whining about it doesn’t bring the perfect soulmate into your world. The more you focus on all the things you don’t want in a man or woman, the more those very undesirable attributes show up in potential mates. I’m not just saying this, I’m speaking from experience. Girls, if you continue to say, I don’t want a self-centered player who won’t commit. Guess what? That’s exactly who will show up.

Guys, if you keep saying, I don’t want a crazy woman who’s possessive and smothers me to death. You got it, she’s going to keep knocking down your door.

How many times have you or your friends said, I’m a loser-magnet. Or, only the crazy chicks want to date me. The more you say it, the more they show up because you’re focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do.

So this Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favor. Don’t feel alone or sad. Don’t eat your weight in sweets or feel sorry for yourself when the flowers start rolling into your workplace. Make your list. Put some positive vibes out into the world and see what happens. Intentions are powerful. Use them wisely.

As for me, I found my perfect person. It took a long time and I waded through a lot of heartache to get there. But when it happens what you discover is you don’t need a particular date like February 14th to celebrate love. Every day is Valentine’s Day when you truly love someone.

*Kris Calvert is an author of Thrillers, Romantic Suspense and Contemporary Romance.

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