Steven Tagle's Blog

Dear friends and readers,Γεια σας! It's been two years since my last email update, and I'm once more in transit. I graduated from the UMass MFA program in May, published in a few new pieces (New Delta Review, Los Angeles Review of Books, and Out Magazine), flirted with life in New York, and packed my bags to begin a year researching and writing a new book as a Fulbright Fellow in Greece. Over the next year, I'll be sharing images, impressions, and observations so that you can get a sense of my life here and also keep tabs on how my project's shaping up. I'm reading Henry Miller's Colossus of Maroussi as my entrée to writing about Greece, and while I admire Miller's grand claims ("Greece could swallow both the United States and Europe."), I don't feel comfortable making them myself. I write to you instead from a subjectivity suspicious of "knowing," though perhaps subjectivity and authority aren't mutually exclusive since Miller gains authority by submerging readers in opinions delivered as fact. 1. AthensAugust is a strange month to arrive in Athens. It's the hottest month of the year (temperatures in the mid-90s), and the city empties out. Most Athenians take vacation around August 15, the Dormition of the Virgin Mary, to visit family villages or seaside second houses. Businesses post signs with the dates they'll be away. The National Library is closed all month. People do everything outdoors: drink coffee on sidewalk cafes, watch movies on rooftops with views of the Acropolis, swim at crystal-blue beaches just south of Athens, shop for fresh fruit, honey, and fish at the λαϊκή αγορά, daily farmer's markets. Athens is a city of many faces. It's sprawling and gritty, and like Los Angeles, it rebuffs tourists' attempts to digest it, hiding its best cafes and restaurants behind nondescript facades. I love this quality in a city because it rewards those who seek it out, not those who expect the city to embrace them. The modern city overlays the ancient one, and I hope to learn more about this relationship in the coming months.In some ways, Athens feels like being back in the US in the early 2000s. People prefer to call rather than text. You buy phone minutes (5 euro for 200 min) and data (5 euro for 500 MB) in πακέτα and borrow friends' phones or take advantage of special deals to work around the constraints of your plan. Public in Syntagma Square still sells music CDs. You rent DVDs from video clubs to watch with friends. Food and basic supplies are cheap, but luxuries like iPhone chargers and Moleskine notebooks carry premium prices.Abandoned hotel in Legrena.I visited the new Stavros Niarchos Foundation Cultural Center for an evening concert in the park and a screening of Hitchcock's Saboteur. The center is still under construction, but when it is finished, the National Opera and the National Library will be housed there. It's an optimistic vision of a future Athens. I've been thinking about this place vis-á-vis Miller: "A revivified Greece can very conceivably alter the whole destiny of Europe." If we invested in Greece and could break through the brambles of bureaucracy, the results would be extraordinary.Every day here has the potential for adventure. A few days after arriving in Athens, I found myself riding on the back of a motorbike, and my Greek friend jumped the curb and cut through a pedestrian plaza. "In this country, there are no rules," he said. I can feel this trip changing me in lovely and essential ways. I've always held myself apart from people, partly as a defensive measure, and I can feel myself starting to let go of that. I'm hoping to open myself to possibilities that, in the past, I would scarcely consider. Love,StevenI encourage you to send me letters via email or post to the address below. Responses may take longer than usual. Let me know if you'd like me to send you a postcard from a certain city or mythological site ;)

Steven Tagle  c/o United States Educational Foundation in Greece The Fulbright Foundation-Greece 6 Vassilissis Sofias Avenue 10674 Athens GREECETemple of Poseidon at Sounion, the southernmost tip of Attica--steventagle.comfacebook.com/steventagletwitter.com/steventagleinstagram.com/steventagle++++++++++++++++++++++This is not an official Department of State website or blog, and the views and information presented are my own and do not represent the Fulbright Program or the U.S. Department of State. /*////// RESET STYLES //////*/ .footer-body-c413c56 {height:100% !important; margin:0; padding:0; width:100% !important; } #footer * { font-family:Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif !important; } table{border-collapse:collapse;} img, a img{border:0; outline:none; text-decoration:none;} /*////// CLIENT-SPECIFIC STYLES //////*/ .ExternalClass, .ExternalClass p, .ExternalClass span, .ExternalClass font, .ExternalClass td, .ExternalClass di{line-height:100%;} /* Force Hotmail/Outlook.com to display line heights normally. */ table, td{mso-table-lspace:0pt; mso-table-rspace:0pt;} /* Remove spacing between tables in Outlook 2007 and up. */ img{-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;} /* Force IE to smoothly render resized images. */ body, table, td, p, a, li, blockquote{-ms-text-size-adjust:100%; -webkit-text-size-adjust:100%;} /* Prevent Windows- and Webkit-based mobile platforms from changing declared text sizes. */ @media only screen and (max-width:480px){ span[class="mobileHide"]{display:none !important; visibility:hidden !important;} span[class="mobileBlock"]{display:block !important;} span[class="mobileSeparate"]{display:block !important; margin:10px 0 !important;} }
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Dear friends and readers,
Just returned home from my seven-week jaunt through Europe! I was in Lisbon for three weeks TA-ing for the incredible writer Alissa Nutting at the DISQUIET International Literary Program. Since I hadn't visited Europe since 2006 (and since the UMass Grad School gave me a very generous travel grant) I decided to visit a few more countries that I missed in college: France, Morocco, and Spain. After DISQUIET, I spent a few days in Paris with my MFA pals Chris and Colleen, but after that, I was traveling solo for the very first time. 
Each morning, I set out with my trusty camera, my Stanford in Entertainment tote bag, UMass water bottle, itinerary, and book. You learn a great deal about the people you travel with; I learned a lot about myself. I became more self-reliant and assertive, better able to navigate foreign cities, better able to approach people I didn't know. At the same time, I was overwhelmed by the kindness and hospitality of the locals, who often bridged the language barrier by speaking in English or by being patient with my garbled bits of Portuguese or French or Maghrebi, heavily aided by gesture. (I was able to trot out my Spanish, though it was easier for me to rehearse and deliver a sentence or two than to understand what was being said to me.) The books I read gave me a dual consciousness as I traveled. Jacinto Lucas Pires' novel The True Actor led me through Lisbon, Hemingway's memoir A Moveable Feast guided me through Paris, and Paul Bowles' autobiography Without Stopping saw me through Morocco and Spain.
Perhaps the best part of traveling alone was the new and unexpected friends I made: Gio Ken, who welcomed me to Lisbon; Karen Hayes and Sarah Reading, two Australians who jumped the fence at Père Lachaise to kiss Morrison's grave; Anne-Flore Rives and her friends, who absorbed me into their table in Paris, toasting "All You Need Is Love;" Amy Harris, my Paris Opera ticket line buddy; Iffy Tillieu and Lee Bo Young, who helped me acclimate during my first day in Marrakech; Pat and Mike Kelly, a dynamic couple from Puerto Vallarta that I met at the hammam; the Chefchaouen crew: charismatic Mehdi Lazrak, Veronica Orlich, Tom and Kim and their dancing daughters Lola and Ruby; John Davison, who opened TALIM to me in Tangier; Solomon Pastor, a footballer from London playing for CD Ronda; and Damien Compain, my host in Barcelona. As luck would have it, I ran into some familiar faces along the way, too! Stephen Ocho Deaderick and I gobbled the famed pastéis de nata in Belem while his Semester at Sea ship was docked in Lisbon, and I bumped into my high school classmate Jeff Kao at La Sagrada Família!

Top 10 Experiences:1. Sharing the second draft of my story "Night Visits" with a room of talented and generous writers at DISQUIET.2. Scoring free, front-row tickets to Puccini's La Boheme at the Paris Opera on Bastille Day.3. Rekindling my love of Ancient Egypt in the palatial rooms of the Louvre, then finding original versions of the Cupid and Psyche paintings I'd been researching on Wikipedia.4. Escaping the heat and bustle of Paris to sit in awe of Monet's Water Lilies in the naturally lit oval rooms at Musée de l'Orangerie.5. Treating myself to a luxurious hammam & traditional body scrub with black soap and kessa glove & ghassoul body mask, followed by a relaxing body massage, pool, Moroccan mint tea and cookies!6. Tiring out my guide while leather jacket shopping in the Fes medina.7. Impressing the men of Chefchaouen when invited to put down my camera and do pull ups with them at the Ras el Maa waterfall.8. Climbing up a cliff in Tangier to get to Cafe Hafa, where Paul Bowles and Mohamed Mrabet first met.9. Receiving a private tour of the Tangier American Legation Institute for Moroccan Studies (and the Paul Bowles Wing!) from Director John Davison during the Islamic Fête du Thrône holiday.10. Stumbling upon the dark dreamscapes of animators and puppeteers Starewitch, Švankmajer, and the Quay Brothers at the Centre de Cultura Contemporània de Barcelona exhibit Metamorphosis.
Photo Albums:
  Portugal / DISQUIET

France

Morocco


Spain
Love,Steven
P.S. The April launch party for my photography book, Outside Windows, was a huge success! I couldn't have asked for a better way to ring in my 29th birthday. You can still order hardcover and EPUB copies of Outside Windows on Square Market. I have about ten copies of the handsome hardcover edition left, and I'd like to find good homes for them.





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Dear friends and readers,
It's been quite a while since I last wrote, and so much has happened. After traveling through Asia (Hong Kong, Singapore, Thailand, Cambodia, Philippines, Taiwan, Japan) last summer with my food-loving friend Catherine Ho, I started in the MFA Program for Poets and Writers at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, supported by a Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship for New Americans.
I saw my first semester at UMass through the lens of a camera. Taking photos was how I acclimated to this strange, new place, how I got to know my friends and housemates, how I hoped to capture a piece of this experience forever. The result is Outside Windows, a book of 24 photographs that documents my first semester in the program. More than anything I can say, I think this book will give you a sense of my life here: its quiet and enchanting moments, its surprising intimacies, its abounding awe.
The book is available in a handsome hardcover edition printed on Mohawk ProPhoto Lustre-Finish White photographic paper and bound with ProLine charcoal linens, protected by a laminated gloss dust jacket. I'm printing a first run of 50 limited edition, signed copies with a bindery in Agawam, MA. The ebook edition is an EPUB file viewable in iBooks on Mac or iOS devices.
I'd love your help spreading the word about Outside Windows. Here's how you can get involved:Purchase a hardcover or ebook edition of the book from Square Market. Orders placed before April 21 will help to finance the first printing. With gratitude, I'll ship your book for free (and in some cases, hand deliver!).Share your thoughts about the book on iTunes, Amazon, or Goodreads. Attend the Outside Windows Book Launch Party on April 25, 8-10 p.m. at Flying Object in Hadley, MA.Visit Route Nine, the UMass Amherst MFA Program journal, to read interviews with writers featured in the photos.Thanks for all your love and support. I hope these photos give you the same sense of wonder I felt while taking them.
Love,Steven
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So much further to go to plumb the depths of emotion, of experience. I'm skating the surface of an ocean, describing the light that shimmers on the waves.

Dear friends and readers,

Last October, I flew up to Stanford to film an "It Gets Better" video for the LGBT alumni group, Stanford Pride. It was Reunion Weekend, and the group was hosting a reception to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Stanford's Gay People's Union (GPU). Founded in 1971, the GPU was one of the first LGBT campus organizations in America.

I spent the weekend interviewing twenty LGBT alumni. I interviewed Maud Nerman, founder of the GPU, who wrote articles about being a lesbian in the campus newspaper in the early 70s. I interviewed Zoe Dunning, who fought courageously against DADT. I interviewed Carly Smolak and Claire Lussier, who recently bought a house and got engaged.

Recorder of stories, listener, documentarian: this is the role I'm most comfortable in. It's rare to be given someone's confidence like this, and I felt a tremendous respect for these early pioneers. They made progress with their courage. Their Stanford was not the Stanford they left behind. Opinions shifted because of their efforts. They made things better.

Stanford Pride: It Gets Betterhttp://vimeo.com/steventagle/itgetsbetter

Browse all 5 Stanford Pride videos
http://vimeo.com/album/1839967

Now that this project is finished, I've returned to work on my novel. The first few days were tough. Every time I sat down to write, I felt like I was hitting my head against the rubber surface of it, my words flying back in my face. But now I feel like I'm chipping away at it, and at least some of the words I jot down stick to the page. I've been writing every day.

I'm enjoying life at home, spending time with my parents and teachers, and making my own schedule.
Here are some photos of my Room/Library/Workspacehttps://plus.google.com/photos/101290050225516519994/albums/5695026967304290753?authkey=COaxrtn7zKL2wgE

Till soon,
Steven

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Dear friends and readers,

It's official. In two weeks, I'm leaving my job, leaving my apartment, leaving LA...to move home and finally finish my novel. Living in LA has nurtured me creatively and helped me develop my voice to a point where I feel confident that I can write the book I set out to write. I'm excited for what next year will bring as I finish this draft, begin the submission process, and apply to fiction MFA programs.

Thank you all for encouraging me to follow my dreams, for challenging me, and for helping me grow as a writer and a human being.

And for those of you in LA, how about one more round of Sprites and ammo this Saturday, December 17 at the Arsenal? Drinks @ The Arsenal
Saturday, December 17 at 8:00pm
The Arsenal
12012 W. Pico Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90064
https://www.facebook.com/events/131667866945971

Hope to see you there,
Steven

P.S. A friend's house recently caught on fire. Then something miraculous happened.
Here's the video: http://vimeo.com/steventagle/koran

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For the 10th anniversary of 9/11, we've created this original motion comic film, Ladder 6, free to watch and share at spiritclips.com. The true story of a group of FDNY firefighters from Ladder 6 company, who miraculously survived the World Trade Center collapse because they stopped to help Josephine Harris, an elderly woman who was trapped on the staircase on September 11, 2001.

Dear friends and readers,

It's been a week since I returned from the Tin House Summer Writer's Workshop, but sometimes I still catch myself wondering what afternoon lectures I'll be attending, what sugared treats await me on the dining hall dessert cart, what creative cuss words Dorothy Allison will scream out next.

Call it denial, but it feels more like a high that refuses to fade. That week in Portland, Oregon was a pure delight. Once my "ride friends" and I arrived at Reed College, it was easy to forget everything else. The green, wooded campus was a self-contained world. It was just us and the middle school math campers in their multicolored sarongs.

Our daily schedules were packed with events: morning lectures, two-hour workshops, afternoon panel discussions, agent and editor meetings (daunting at first, but surprise! they're human). Then, in the evening, we'd gather in Reed's outdoor amphitheater on the creek for cocktails and faculty readings (occasionally interrupted by intrepid joggers, and once, a saucer-eyed kid on X).

One night, a group of us explored downtown Portland. Another night, we held a guerrilla reading in our dorm's third-floor common room. At the end of the week, there was a dance party that lasted from 9pm until the airport shuttle picked us up at 4am...

My novel workshop with Jonathan Dee contained writers of diverse ages, backgrounds, and nationalities. I developed a reputation as a constant snacker, my messenger bag overflowing with napkin-wrapped baked goods. It was really productive to be in a group where everyone was working on a novel. We struggled with similar questions: Should you frame narratives set in the past? How much does a reader need to be 'grabbed' or 'hooked' on page one? What is the balance between lyricism and abstraction?

I workshopped 25 pages of my novel, beginning with the scene where Sy shapeshifts for the first time. The feedback I received was really encouraging and constructive; it not only resolved some of the stylistic doubts I had while writing those pages, but also explained why I'm having difficulty with the scene I'm currently writing. Ben's failure to react to Sy's initial transformation is, I think, what has made it so difficult to write the scene where they confront each other the next day. I've been writing backwards, trying to figure out exactly what Ben saw/heard/felt the night before.

I'm back in the real world now, fighting for time to write in a world that conspires to keep me from writing. At Jonathan's suggestion, I'm continuing my education by reading all the Paris Review interviews with famous writers from 1950 to the present. In one interview, Robert Stone said, "[Writing is] goddamn hard. Nobody really cares whether you do it or not. You have to make yourself do it." In that respect, Tin House was such a gift because everyone cared. Everyone understood how hard it was.

One important idea that our instructors reiterated throughout the week: good writing takes time. There are writers who have spent 10 to 20 years working on their novels. So take the time you need to get it right. Give yourself that permission, and don't beat yourself up about it. Don't rush the work. Agents and editors will still be interested one year, two years down the road.

I know I'll forget this later, so I wanted to say it here.

Till soon,
Steven

P.S. Here are some photos from the week!
https://picasaweb.google.com/steventagle/TinHouseWritersWorkshop?authuser=0&feat=directlink

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Dear friends and readers,

There are many aspects of fashion that I detest: fashion as superficial culture (though I am superficial); fashion as a label parade (though I'm a certified brand whore); fashion without taste. I don't often spend money on new clothes. Unlike my sister, I prefer comfy over vogue and am content to wear socks and underwear until they unravel. Most weekends you'll find me in my coffee house grunge: gray t-shirt, glasses, hoodie, and jeans. I've been known--to Camille's horror--to still wear button-down shirts that I bought in the eighth grade.

What I do like about fashion is its craftsmanship. Fashion as history, fashion as art. Every few years the planets will realign, and an object will command my full, obsessive attention. To buy or not to buy? I'll hunt down the Platonic form of the object in question: memorizing model numbers and specs, befriending salespeople, clipping promo codes for the best possible deal. Family and friends will weigh in with exasperation as my decision making process spans weeks, months. They remember the infamous Kenneth Cole watch of 2005, the APC overcoat of 2008 (Jack!), and most recently, a pair of Persol eyeglasses and Aldo moccasins.

Persol Eyeglasses. PO2857V. 95 - 54 - 16 - 140. I imagine myself flashing this smart Persol frame (with Giuseppe Ratti's iconic, "warrior-inspired" metal arrows) at business meetings and nights at the opera. According to the Persol website, the black acetate is derived from pulverized cotton flowers, allowing the frame to maintain cotton's natural properties--allergy free and warm to the touch. Researching these glasses convinced me that I needed Trivex anti-reflective lenses rather than the standard polycarbonate. Trivex is lighter and has better optics; anti-reflective coating reduces computer glare. "They're an investment!" I told myself. "In my writing! And they really do make a difference.Aldo Ballato Men's Moccasins. The Ballato's personality is in the details. With its hidden gray laces and metallic eyelets, it's summery yet subdued, a modern boating shoe. Its serious slate-gray canvas and leather exterior contrasts with its playful white and navy-blue checkered interior. Ballato means "danced, footed" in Italian, but when I first wore these shoes, they cut into my heels. That first week, I felt like the little mermaid, "stepping on piercing needles and sharp knives" whenever I set my foot down. My mom noticed immediately: "Why are you limping?" And Tyrrell, ever the bully, said, "Maybe they'll never fit." I endured the pain, washing bloody socks and hoping my foot would mold to the shoe. At last, Camille recommended a pair of heel liners that saved my life.

Perhaps that's the true power of fashion: every object signifies a story we wish to tell about ourselves. Fashion is how we choose to look, a reflection of our taste, not our genes. And sometimes that's worth the cost, worth the pain. To walk into a room reframed, to own something so sleek and well-designed it makes you reconsider yourself.

Till soon,
Steven

P.S. Next month I'm attending the Tin House Summer Writers Workshop, a weeklong intensive of workshops, seminars, panels, and readings led by the editors of Tin House and their guests - prominent contemporary American writers of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry. I'll be workshopping the fourth chapter of my novel with Jonathan Dee, a Contributing Writer for New York Times Magazine and a former Senior Editor of the Paris Review. I can't wait!
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Dear hearts,

For the past two months, I've been obsessed. In March, I saw the LA Opera production of Benjamin Britten's The Turn of the Screw. Based on the novella by Henry James, the opera is about a governess's struggle to protect her young charges from the carnal influence of two lingering ghosts.

Britten's chamber opera reminded me of another story of endangered children: The Night of the Hunter, directed by Charles Laughton, starring Robert Mitchum, Shelley Winters, and Lillian Gish. Mitchum, his knuckles tattooed with the words LOVE and HATE, plays a sinister preacher whose nefarious motives for marrying a fragile widow are uncovered by her terrified young children.
Both works are eerie and strange, seemingly out of place in the 1950s when they debuted. Their monsters are wolves in sheep's clothing: seductive, and therefore all the more potent. Peter Quint, the spectral valet who the opera implies was "free with everyone / with little master Miles," wears a suave black suit throughout the performance. His counterpart, Preacher Harry Powell, dressed in a distinctive black vest and hat, charms the unwitting faithful with his tale of Right Hand, Left Hand, of good and evil. These villains speak an adult language. They are artful, they can pass among the guardians of the innocent. In Turn of the Screw, even the children are drawn to the ghosts' evil; over the course of the opera, we see them less as victims than as ambiguous co-conspirators.
I want to discuss a scene from each production that really stuck me: Turn of the Screw's Act II, Scene 1/Variation 8: Colloquy and Soliloquy and the scene in Night of the Hunter where Preacher murders Willa Harper, the children's mother. Both scenes are set in the bedroom, a place of safety, the altar of our rest. In both scenes, this refuge is violated. Malevolence penetrates our innermost chamber, the sanctuary where our grown-up imaginations still run wild. Turn of the Screw's second act opens with the two ghosts poised over the children's beds. Quint and Miss Jessel speak of their dependence upon one another, and upon the children.

Quint and Miss Jessel:
Day by day the bars we break,
Break the love that laps them round,
Cheat the careful watching eyes,
'The ceremony of innocence is drowned.'
'The ceremony of innocence is drowned.'

The children cannot be protected. The wolves are already inside.
Light and shadow play a significant role in both works. Famous cinematographer Stanley Cortez shot Night of the Hunter on high-contrast Tri-X film to achieve deep blacks and pure whites. In the murder scene, Willa's a-frame bedroom looks like the nave of a church. She prepares for spiritual salvation, haloed in light, while her romantic waltz commingles with the preacher's dark chords. Preacher tilts his head, listening to the voice of his God. Then he descends on her with his knife, and now the children are truly alone.
What is the romance of so much dark? As a child, danger seems ever present. Creativity and imagination feed fear. Both Night of the Hunter and Turn of the Screw blur the lines of reality and imagination, unleashing the children's subjectivity onto the world. A subjectivity where Preacher's animal howl chases John and Pearl down the Ohio River, where Miles and Flora's governess begins to doubt her own sanity. Like a Grimm fairy tale, these stories tap our most primal fears. It's good versus evil, and innocence is at stake, innocence relentlessly hounded.

Bedroom Scene from Night of the Hunter:

Trailer for Turn of the Screw:

Till soon,
Steven

P.S. My media diet the past two months:

Performance: The Turn of the Screw conducted by James Conlon (William Burden as Quint)
CD: The Turn of the Screw conducted by Benjamin Britten (Peter Pears as Quint)
CD: The Turn of the Screw conducted by Steuart Bedford (Philip Langridge as Quint)
Book: The Turn of the Screw and Other Stories by Henry James
DVD: The Turn of the Screw BBC production (Mark Padmore as Quint)

DVD: The Night of the Hunter directed by Charles Laughton
DVD: Charles Laughton Directs "The Night of the Hunter" edited by Robert Gitt
Book: The Night of the Hunter by Davis Grubb
Book: The Night of the Hunter: A Biography of a Film by Jeffrey Couchman
Book: Heaven & Hell To Play With: The Filming of "The Night of the Hunter" by Preston Neal Jones

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