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Daniel Stern
Goodreads Author
Born
in St. Louis, The United States
September 07
Website
Twitter
Genre
Influences
David Sedaris, Chuck Palahniuk, Anthony Bourdain
Member Since
December 2012
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Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, Sometimes Messy, but Always Adventurous Swinging Lifestyle
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published
2013
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10 editions
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* Note: these are all the books on Goodreads for this author. To add more, click here.
“How long you guys been renovating?” Craig asked Arianna.
“About a month.”
“How much longer?”
Arianna sighed. “The contractor messed up the counters, so who knows.”
“Preaching to the choir.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah. But in the end everything turned out for the best.”
“How so?”
“Well, for one, I switched from laminate to granite.”
“Granite . . .” She exhaled, confounded, as if the granite countertop quandary was the most perplexing philosophical question of all time. “Yeah . . .We’re torn.”
“More expensive, but aesthetically superior,” Craig lobbied. “Also retains value longer.”
Knowing the sexual perversity about to transpire, I couldn’t reconcile that I was suddenly in an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Granted, I didn’t know from normal pre–group sex discussion topics, but I was pretty sure home improvement wasn’t on the list.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
“About a month.”
“How much longer?”
Arianna sighed. “The contractor messed up the counters, so who knows.”
“Preaching to the choir.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah. But in the end everything turned out for the best.”
“How so?”
“Well, for one, I switched from laminate to granite.”
“Granite . . .” She exhaled, confounded, as if the granite countertop quandary was the most perplexing philosophical question of all time. “Yeah . . .We’re torn.”
“More expensive, but aesthetically superior,” Craig lobbied. “Also retains value longer.”
Knowing the sexual perversity about to transpire, I couldn’t reconcile that I was suddenly in an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Granted, I didn’t know from normal pre–group sex discussion topics, but I was pretty sure home improvement wasn’t on the list.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
“The selection process is simple. Hubby exhausts every ploy in his psychological arsenal to filter out the liars, fakes, and undesirables. (If only every husband were so devoted . . .) Me, I try to prove to that I’m not the stereotypical single male. That I’m in the Lifestyle for the right reasons. That I’m courteous and respectful. All of which are true, but the burden of proof is on
me. It always is.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
me. It always is.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
“I’m no expert, no natural-born talent, definitely no guru. As you’ll soon learn, only through a colossal experiment in trial and error did I reach the sexual summit. Although I own up to having worn a cape in a few intimate scenarios, I don’t possess supernatural powers of any kind. Perhaps my IQ is slightly above average, but Mensa isn’t busting down my door. If pressed to define myself, I’d say I’m Horatio Alger between the sheets: a self-made swinging single male. . . with a hefty dose of Buster Keaton mixed in.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
“I’ve written for those who want to learn, truly learn, about a community with which they aren’t familiar. Or for those who have preconceptions but can admit they may not be entirely accurate (and, in some cases, that they are completely wrong). This means my reader must possess an open mind and a certain level of curiosity. If that’s you, proceed to checkout. An uncensored glimpse behind the curtain, hairy backs and all, awaits.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
“See, far above arrogance and selfishness on the rankings of undesirable Lifestyle traits, topping the lengthy list of carnal sins, occupying its very own stratosphere of unforgivable
reprehensibility, is lying. Without question, fibbing is the fastest way to secure a one-way trip to blackball status in the swing community. So assured is a liar’s exile from the Lifestyle that should a perjurer come clean about a material untruth and still secure playtime, that individual will have rewritten the entire swing rulebook. And no matter how enticing it may be to rewrite history, I do not recommend attempting it. Not unless you’re lusting after a celibate existence.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
reprehensibility, is lying. Without question, fibbing is the fastest way to secure a one-way trip to blackball status in the swing community. So assured is a liar’s exile from the Lifestyle that should a perjurer come clean about a material untruth and still secure playtime, that individual will have rewritten the entire swing rulebook. And no matter how enticing it may be to rewrite history, I do not recommend attempting it. Not unless you’re lusting after a celibate existence.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
“The selection process is simple. Hubby exhausts every ploy in his psychological arsenal to filter out the liars, fakes, and undesirables. (If only every husband were so devoted . . .) Me, I try to prove to that I’m not the stereotypical single male. That I’m in the Lifestyle for the right reasons. That I’m courteous and respectful. All of which are true, but the burden of proof is on
me. It always is.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
me. It always is.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
“I’m no expert, no natural-born talent, definitely no guru. As you’ll soon learn, only through a colossal experiment in trial and error did I reach the sexual summit. Although I own up to having worn a cape in a few intimate scenarios, I don’t possess supernatural powers of any kind. Perhaps my IQ is slightly above average, but Mensa isn’t busting down my door. If pressed to define myself, I’d say I’m Horatio Alger between the sheets: a self-made swinging single male. . . with a hefty dose of Buster Keaton mixed in.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
“Despite your delusions to the contrary, swingers, by and large, are a civilized lot. We come in all ages, shapes, sizes, nationalities, and ethnicities. We have differing beliefs, varying opinions, IQs, and senses of humor. We have families, friends, careers, hobbies, mortgages, and retirement plans. In short, we’re just like everyone else. We don’t strap on leather chaps and nipple clamps to go about our day. Wearing kinks on our sleeves like badges of honor isn’t our style. Truth be told, we don’t talk that much about our dalliances—-at least not to Vanilla folk. We’re not ashamed. We simply assume most of the world doesn’t get our way of life. And more times than not, we’re right.”
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
― Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, So
