Arbinger Institute
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The anatomy of peace.
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“There is a question I have learned to ask myself when I am feeling bothered about others: am I holding myself to the same standard I am demanding of them?”
― The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
― The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
“The more sure I am that I'm right, the more likely I will actually be mistaken. My need to be right makes it more likely that I will be wrong! Likewise, the more sure I am that I am mistreated, the more likely I am to miss ways that I am mistreating others myself. My need for justification obscures the truth.”
― The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
― The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
“...when I betray myself, others' faults become immediately inflated in my heart and mind. I begin to 'horribilize' others. That is, I begin to make them out to be worse than they really are. And I do this because the worse they are, the more justified I feel.”
― The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
― The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
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