Lara Van Hulzen's Blog

I'm excited to introduce book one in my Nearlake series—A Love Worth Waiting For—which is available today!

It is set in a fictional town in Idaho called Nearlake. I love to write about small towns and friendships.

A Love Worth Waiting For is the first book in a three-book series centered on three friends: Sadie, Charlie, and Anne.

This book is about Sadie.

Sadie Woods leads a structured life, and she likes it that way. As owner of her family’s antique store in the town where she grew up, she is surrounded by history. The past is full of intrigue and rich memories, while the present has bills piling up, her aunt battling breast cancer, and a future full of unknowns that have her grasping for hope.

Former professional football star James Larsen just wants a quiet life for himself and his teenage daughter, Maddie. Being Deputy Sheriff in the town he calls home is just right. In the wake of his wife’s death, he’s able to heal without too much attention, and life has become a comfortable routine he appreciates.

When Sadie’s shop is supposedly broken into, and James is the police officer called to the scene, the faded memories of attending high school together stir a connection neither of them is prepared for. While Sadie is knee-deep in trying to save her store, James is hesitant to let another woman into his and his daughter’s lives.

Both hesitant to trust, Sadie and James must brave a path that includes believing there is a love worth waiting for.

A Love Worth Waiting For

Excerpt

As Sadie made her way down the bleachers and along the field level, she scanned the crowd. Not seeing James, she realized he may have joined the team in the locker room. Taking one last look around, she spotted him walking around behind the grandstands, his hands in his pockets and his head down.

 

She followed, finding him all alone, leaning his back against a wall behind the bleachers.

“Hey, you.” She walked up beside him and copied his stance, the two of them looking out through a tall chain link fence into the parking lot.

 

“Hey.”

 

“You okay?”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

She nodded but said nothing.

 

They stood there for a few minutes, not saying anything. If he needed to talk, he would. Sadie just wanted to be near him. Let him know he wasn’t alone. The announcer’s voice echoed in the night as he introduced the first float of the evening done by the freshman class.

 

James ran a hand through his hair and pushed away from the wall. He turned and faced Sadie. “I know I should be grateful. I’ve always had such strong support from this community. But…” He kicked the dirt with the toe of his boot.

 

Sadie waited for him to continue.

 

“But they don’t know the truth.”

 

“And what is the truth?”

 

He shook his head. “I’m not the superstar they think I am. I’m not the Golden Boy with the perfect life, the perfect career the way they imagine.”

 

“None of us has anything perfect,” Sadie offered with a shrug.

 

He looked down at the ground. “It’s just not the whole story.”

 

“I don’t know the whole story, James. But I think it’s pretty easy to know you.”

 

His eyes met hers.

 

“This town celebrates your accomplishments as a football player, yes,” she continued. “And it’s okay to soak that in. You had a great career.”

 

He looked away, then back at her again, his frown carrying the weight of whatever was bothering him.

 

“But I don’t think anyone expects you to be a perfect person with a perfect life.”

 

He took a deep breath in and let it out. “It sure feels that way sometimes.”

 

She pushed away from the wall and stepped over to him, taking his hands in hers. “I’m sure there have been people in your life who wanted to be in your life because of your success. But there are plenty of people who want to be in your life because of the person you are. The man you are.”

 

His lips formed a small smile at that, but it didn’t last. “Like I said, there’s more to the story.”

 

“I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

 

“You are. But I gotta be honest, talking isn’t what I want to do right now.” He let go of her hands and cupped her face in his.

 

The music and noise of the night faded into the background as he placed his lips on hers. The first time in the passageway, there’d been an urgency to his kiss, almost a need for him to be as close to her as possible to know she was okay. This time, it was a slow, searing intensity between them that warmed her all the way to her toes. Her arms wrapped around his waist, her body sinking into his as if she were made to be there.

 

Sadie lost all track of time or rational thought, her mind only able to focus on being held by James, as if there was no one else in the entire world she was meant to kiss but him.

 

When he pulled away and placed his forehead on hers, they were both breathless.

 

“It’s official. I definitely love to do that more than talk,” James said.

 

Sadie laughed, her breath a cloud in the cold air.

 

The announcer came over the loudspeaker to announce the presentation of the float for the sophomore class.

 

James smiled down at Sadie, her face still cradled in his hands. “As much as I hate to say it—and I mean really hate to say it—I need to go.” He kissed her forehead. “Maddie will kill me if I don’t see the float she helped work on all week.”

 

Sadie nodded. “I understand.”

 

James stepped back, taking her hands in his. “Thank you for coming to find me.”

 

“You’re welcome. I’m here any time you ever want to…talk.”

 

He laughed at that and then kissed her gloved hands and then her cheek. “A very

tempting offer, Sadie. I hope you mean it.”

 

Oh, she meant it. If she wasn’t falling for James Larsen before, she certainly was now.

 

“I mean it.”

 

“Good.” With that, he took her hand and walked her back to the stadium, the two of them parting ways as he headed to the field and she into the stands.

I love character driven stories.

In An Angel For Christmas, Garrett owns the local saloon. He's been around Silver Bay from almost the beginning of the series, appearing first in Saving Drew.

As I wrote the Endicotts of Silver Bay series, Garrett kept coming to mind. He needed a story. I didn't want him to just be "the guy who owns and runs the saloon" anymore. I wanted him to find love.

The more I wrote the character of Angelica Endicott, the more I knew her spice and energy were just what Garrett needed. I had described him in earlier books as keeping to himself and even a bit grumpy, but nice and mostly misunderstood.

A perfect match for Angelica.

As I write, stories and characters tend to surprise me. At first I thought I would connect more with Angelica, maybe because I had written her into the other Endicott books so she was foremost in my mind. But writing An Angel For Christmas ended up being more about discovering Garrett's story than Angelica's.

Garrett is just my kind of hero. Quiet. Giving. Great dad to his daughter. Selfless, always putting his family first. As fun as it was to write him as a bit of a grump, I loved having Angelica be the one to see the real Garrett. The gentle spirit who wouldn't mind finding love.

This series is one I have greatly enjoyed writing. I'm sad to say goodbye to these characters, but who knows? Maybe there are more things to come for those in Silver Bay...

Happy Reading,

Lara

An Angel For Christmas

Excerpt

Garrett flipped on the lights in his office and tossed his keys on his desk. While mornings were quiet at the saloon, this early in the day was even more so. However, a noise above his head caused him to stop and listen. The sound of footsteps made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Someone was in the saloon.

With as much stealth as possible, he made his way through the door that led to the bar. Silver Bay was a safe town. Everyone knew everyone and doors were left unlocked everywhere. The thought of someone in his bar this early in the morning to rob him wasn’t rational. Yet he couldn’t deny what he heard.

As he stepped around the bar, the footsteps became rhythmic, and the sound of music made its way downstairs from the balcony up above.

Someone was in his bar listening to music and…dancing?

Garrett made his way up the stairs, still on alert because he had zero idea of what he was about to find. As he turned when he reached the balcony, his mind certainly wasn’t prepared for what he saw.

Angelica was dressed in jeans, old tennis shoes, and a black top that hugged her curves and was splattered with paint. Her hair was jumbled up on top of her head in a way that looked messy, as well as super sexy. He’d only seen her with her hair down and brushed perfectly. This somewhat disheveled look fit her well.

A small speaker sat on a table with her phone next to it. The source of the music. Two cups from Jamie’s Java sat beside. Angelica sang along, something about what happened last Christmas. Her back to him, she danced her way toward a ladder that stood near the far wall, a paint brush in hand that she waved above her head. He bit back a laugh at how many paint flecks were coming from it and landing in her hair.

He took a moment to appreciate the woman before him, watching as each step of the ladder she climbed was a dance step. It was clear she’d shown up even earlier than he had to get started on the upstairs. How she’d dragged all the stuff she needed to do so inside and upstairs by herself, he had no clue. But this was Angelica, and from what he’d seen of her so far, she had a strong will and believed there was always a way.

Not only that, but she also moved without any inhibitions, dancing as if no one was watching. Although in all fairness, she didn’t know anyone was watching. Aware that if he waited any longer, he ran the risk of frightening her or reaching creeper status, he cleared his throat to let her know he was there. The volume of the music must have kept her from hearing him because she continued to wiggle to the music as much as was possible while standing on a ladder and painting a wall.

He moved closer, hoping she would hear him and not get startled.

He cleared this throat again and said, “You’re here early.”

“Oh!” She jumped, the paintbrush falling from her hand. As her body twisted to face him, her foot caught on the rung of the ladder, and she lost her balance.

On instinct, Garrett made it next to the ladder just in time for Angelica to fall right into his arms.

This time, there was no apology by her, no pulling back to dust off dirt. This time, he had his arms around her waist, her hands pressed up against his chest. Their eyes met and held.

“We keep bumping into each other,” she said, the corners of her mouth turning up in a smile.

Every witty response Garrett had in his mind vanished. All he could see were those eyes of hers. The greenish-blue ocean depths he wanted to swim in for days. A lock of her hair had fallen over her forehead. He tucked it behind her ear then cupped her face in his hand.

Without another thought, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

I am asked often what inspires me in my writing. And my answer is always the same - music. Yes, I like to sit and watch people, create characters in my head and make up stories from there, but when I listen to music, I see scenes in my mind that then end up in my books.

Country music tends to be the top genre for me. Until I Met You, the third book in my Endicotts of Silver Bay series which releases July 20th, I wrote a scene where the heroine, Rachel Anderson, sings karaoke with her friends. That scene was inspired by Cole Swindell's She Had Me At Heads Carolina. I heard that song and all the details came to mind then made it to the page.

With this in mind, and as a fun part of release day of Until I Met You, I want to share the playlist I created while writing this book.

Until I Met You Playlist

Happy Does by Kenny Chesney

She Had Me At Heads Carolina by Cole Swindell

Heads Carolina, Tails California by Jo Dee Messina

Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran (feat, Khalid)

Think A Little Less by Michael Ray

Church In A Chevy by Jordan Davis

Setting The World On Fire by Kenny Chesney (with P!nk)

Until I Met You

When his parents move to Silver Bay, California, Dominic Endicott, ever the dutiful son, packs up his life and heads to the small town. He sees it as temporary, appeasing his mother and making sure his dad's health is stable while Dominic keeps the family business running. Dominic planned on keeping his head down, focused only on working and spending time with his family. Until a beautiful brunette forces him to look up.

​

Local Chaplain and community center employee Rachel Anderson loves her little town that she's called home for the past year. Silver Bay is a far cry from her life growing up in LA, and that's perfectly fine with her. When she mistakes newcomer Dominic for her friend, Chet, her simple, curated life becomes complicated.

Excerpt

It took effort for Dominic to stay focused on the conversation. The mayor and Hannah had their heads together over a list she was making, giving Dominic a minute to think through the short interaction with Rachel.

He was still wrapping his head around the fact that Rachel had flirted with him and had even winked, making her more appealing than ever.

Women flirted with him all the time, but this was different. For one, brief moment, Rachel had let go of the always-in-control demeanor she had going and been playful with a side of sass.

It was sexy and sweet at the same time, and Dominic wanted more of it.

So much more.

After his cheesy comment about the sweetness of coffee, combined with his not-so-smooth move at the bakery the other day, flirting from her was the last thing he expected. Or deserved, quite frankly. Dominic was known to be smooth and quick-witted, but Rachel had him tripping over every word he uttered. What sounded good in his head came out like a pickup line an eighth grader might use.

“So, this is good then,” Hannah was saying. “I will work with Eva on places in town donating food items and beverages to sell while you and Rachel can get going on finding volunteers to run the events and games.” Hannah pointed a finger back and forth at Dominic and Rachel. “We can use booths from past festivals so no need to build any, but we may need help moving those from storage, as well as setting up once we get closer.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, although Dominic noticed Rachel’s nod wasn’t enthusiastic. She still seemed to not know quite what to do with him yet. He had a few ideas, but his promise to Chet flashed through his mind. He had no intention of toying with Rachel in any way. He’d been legitimately offended when his brother had insinuated Dominic might do anything to hurt Rachel. Dominic had been a true gentleman with the women he’d dated in the past, and although rankled by his brother’s comments, he knew what Chet meant. Dominic didn’t do serious relationships. Mainly because work took up most of his time. Or maybe it was because he hadn’t met anyone that made him want one. Until now.

Was he drawn to Rachel because of a desire for something deeper than what he’d had in the past? Or did she just pique his interest more than most women?

Everyone said their good-byes, their marching orders given to them by Hannah. Dominic hugged his sister, shook the mayor’s hand, and waved to Hannah and Abby as they strolled away. He turned to see Rachel sitting at a picnic table. She had said her good-byes before him and must have snuck over there without him noticing. Her backpack sat beside her on the bench, her head bent over a notepad, one hand on the plastic cup of coffee he’d gotten her.

He tucked his legs under the table and sat on the bench across from her.

“How did you know what kind of coffee I like?” The genuine smile she gave him warmed his insides.

“Lucky guess.” He leaned in closer, his elbows on the table with his hands clasped in front of him. “And I may have bribed the barista at the coffee shop for information.”

“Or flirted it out of her.”

Oh yes, the sassy side of her was fast becoming something he enjoyed.

He shrugged. “Same thing…”

Rachel laughed. He tilted his head and soaked in the sound, only in that moment realizing it was the first time he’d heard her laugh. At the firehouse when they’d met, she was upset with him for fooling her into thinking he was Chet, and at the diner with Eva, she was so focused on keeping her composure, she’d barely smiled. Now, she had smiled and laughed. It was his lucky day.

He couldn’t help but notice how relaxed she was outdoors. Her eyes were bright, her cheeks rosy from the warmth of the day, and her shoulders relaxed. It was as if the sun melted away the layers she used to shield herself. But shield herself from what?

“I’m just taking some notes on all that Hannah said.” She tapped her notepad with the pen in her hand.

“Kicking it old school, huh?”

She shrugged. “Hannah may live and die by her tablet, but I have always loved pen and paper. There are actual studies that show a direct connection between the brain and the hand as you write…” She shook her head. “Sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

​

“I tend to share random information I find interesting.”

​

“Which is awesome.”

​

She smiled. “Not everyone has that opinion.”

​

“Your opinion is the one that matters. If you find something interesting, then say it.”

She narrowed her eyes and shook her head but didn’t respond. Instead, she turned her attention to her notepad. “Historically, the fire department is a big part of moving the booths as well as setting up for festivals, so I’m guessing you’d be down for talking to Chet?”

​

“Sure. I’ll take a turn in the dunking booth as well.”

​

Her head snapped up from her paper with that, and again with the narrowing of the eyes.

​

“I understand you want to know more about me, but you don’t need to keep narrowing your eyes at me, sizing me up.” He leaned back and put his arms out. “If you want to know something, just ask.”

​

She set her pen down and leaned back as well. Crossing her arms in front of her, she said, “Okay. Why are you so dressed up for a meeting at a playground?”

​

He laughed out loud. “That was not at all a question I thought you’d lead with. Maybe I like to dress up when I hang from the jungle gym.”

​

Her eyebrows lifted, daring him to be serious.

​

He leaned toward her again. “Fine. If you must know, I had a video conference call before this, and with the business I do, a T-shirt and sport shorts is frowned upon. However, if you can keep a secret, I have been known to do those calls dressed appropriately up top, but sport shorts comfortable on the bottom.”

​

“That’s fair.” She chuckled and picked up her pen again.

​

“That’s it? That’s all you wanted to know about me?”

​

Once more, she tapped her pen on her notepad. “Weren’t you worried about your shoes when you stepped into the sandbox?”

​

What was with this woman and his clothing?

​

“I was not. They are just shoes, and come on, who can resist a sandbox? I mean, seriously.”

​

“Once a little boy, always a little boy.”

​

He had a sense there was more to that statement than she was letting on, but he decided not to dig into it right then.

​

“Maybe.”

​

“Hmph,” was her only reply. Along with continuing to write out a list on her paper.

​

“I’ll tell you what. I need to get going.”

​

“Another conference call?” she asked, not looking up.

​

“As a matter of fact, yes. Why don’t we get together this weekend?”

​

That got her to look at him.

​

“It seems we have a lot to discuss.” A glance down at what she was writing added to his comment. “Let’s set a time to do so.”

​

“Okay. Sunday afternoon works for me. I go to church in the morning and stay after for a bit to talk to people if they need me, but I’m free after that.”

​

“Perfect. Sunday it is.” He stood, untangling his legs from the picnic table bench. “Text me a place and time. I’m new here so I’ll have to trust your judgment.”

​

“How about the bakery? Cookies and coffee are a nice way to start a relationship, and someone sweet like me loves a good cookie.”

​

Did she just bat her eyelashes at him while tossing his two worst lines back at him?

​

She did.

​

Oh yes, this side of Rachel Anderson he was absolutely going to like getting to know better.

“The bakery it is.”

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Christmas is absolutely my favorite time of year. Well, beginning in October and all the way through December is essentially my favorite. I'm in a pretty darn good mood during those months.

But there truly is something magical about Christmas. Whether it's the lights or the decorations, or change in weather with snow falling (at least I now live where we get snow - also something I love), the spirit of Christmas brings joy.

It's probably easy to guess that writing Christmas stories is also at the top of my list of favorites. And writing Christmas Cakes and Kisses, Book 2 in the Endicotts of Silver Bay Series (November 29th), is definitely included.

Eva Endicott is the sister of Chet who appears in Love At Meg's Diner. (Book 1) She is happy with her job at Baylee's Bakery but has a dream of owning her own cake business someday.

Tyler Vance is a personal trainer for professional baseball pitcher, Drew MacIntire. Tyler lives in Silver Bay because Drew made the town home, and he's been content with the rigorous travel schedule that comes with his job.

Then he meets Eva. Helping her achieve her dream of having her own business draws him more and more to wanting to put down roots and make Silver Bay home.

One of the things I love about writing stories is brainstorming with f riends and family about characters. The journalist in me loves to ask a ton of questions. Get to the heart of what my characters think, believe, want or don't want.

I've had the chance to ride along with friends who are police officers, as well as interview a friend of mine who is a professional race car driver. I've listened over coffee as a girlfriend shares with me what it's like to be married to a Navy Seal. Every time I write I want to be sure to get a true feel for a character I'm writing.

In Christmas Cakes and Kisses, Tyler works as a personal trainer, but when it came to creating his backstory, I got stuck. While walking with one of my son's one day, we got talking about professional wrestling. He loves the sport and has invested years of interest in it. He's also a big guy like Tyler, so I was inspired. By the time we finished our walk, I knew that I wanted Tyler to have a background in professional wrestling and so began a wonderful part of the writing process for me - working with my son on details and essentially creating the life of Tyler Vance.

To write Tyler alongside Eva was too much fun. Because he's a really big guy there are a handful of times that being in a bakery alongside Eva, as he learns to make cookies and cakes, becomes somewhat comical. But don't worry, there's plenty of romance between those two are well.

Silver Bay is a setting close to my heart and I feel the same way about the Endicott family. I hope you do too as you read Tyler and Eva's story.

May your holiday season be filled with lots of time to read, as well as Christmas cakes and kisses.

Happy Reading,

Lara

When I first created the setting of Silver Bay, I was inspired by a small, coastal town in Northern California. It became a place my husband and I visited many times over the years; a place that captured my heart and became somewhere I had to put down on the page. A place where neighbors help one another, local businesses are supported, and families live for generations.

It became Silver Bay.

The first four books in the series share the lives of three siblings, as well as lifelong friends. Love At Meg's Diner, which releases September 7th, is the first book in a new series that is set in Silver Bay but focuses on the Endicott family. Within this family are four siblings who, while not born and raised in Silver Bay, have come to love it as their own. (Pre-order available now)

I hope you enjoy strolling Seapoint Boulevard while sipping a yummy coffee from Jamie’s Java or sitting and enjoying a pastry from Baylee’s Bakery. I can’t thank you enough for allowing me to share my stories with you. I hope you fall in love with Silver Bay as much as I have.

Please stop my by website–I love to hear from readers. And if you sign up for my newsletter, you’ll be first to receive fun information like cover reveals and book release dates.

Happy Reading,

Lara

Hannah's Hope is a Christmas novella written as part of my Silver Bay series, and will be available for purchase November 10th, 2021.

As a writer, it's easy to get attached to certain characters. Some of them are not a part of the original outline but present themselves as you write. For me as I continue to write, those personalities grow and develop, bringing with them friends and family members I didn't initially intend, but who become some of my favorite characters to write.

Hannah and Paul Wagner are two of those characters for me. They show up first in Return To Silver Bay - Hannah as Maggie's best friend from high school and Paul as Hannah's high school sweetheart. They are now married and run a successful real estate business in town.

In Return To Silver Bay, we get a glimpse of Hannah and Paul’s desire for a family, as well as their journey through infertility and eventually adoption. By the time I completed Return To Silver Bay, I had in mind a Christmas story for Hannah and Paul. For some reason I saw them as a couple who would love that holiday, and especially in Silver Bay. The fact that they both grew up there and share a love for their home town, made it seem like the right fit for their story to take place at Christmas.

I always start my stories with the characters. I "interview" each one to get the details of their background, what they like and dislike, and even what car they like to drive and why. As I dive deep into who each character is, their stories begin to form and from there, their connections to one another grow.

Hannah's Hope is the first time I have written about a couple who are already married, and I loved sharing more of Paul and Hannah's history together. I believe that romance does not die over time in a marriage, it deepens. It was fun for me to write a couple who already had a deep connection to one another and then see how they navigate life together.

I honestly believe that romance and Christmas are meant for one another, much like Paul and Hannah.

What are some of your favorite Christmas books?

Hannah's Hope is a Christmas novella written as part of my Silver Bay series, and will be available for purchase November 10th, 2021.

As a writer, it's easy to get attached to certain characters. Some of them are not a part of the original outline but present themselves as you write. For me as I continue to write, those personalities grow and develop, bringing with them friends and family members I didn't initially intend, but who become some of my favorite characters to write.

Hannah and Paul Wagner are two of those characters for me. They show up first in Return To Silver Bay - Hannah as Maggie's best friend from high school and Paul as Hannah's high school sweetheart. They are now married and run a successful real estate business in town.

In Return To Silver Bay, we get a glimpse of Hannah and Paul’s desire for a family, as well as their journey through infertility and eventually adoption. By the time I completed Return To Silver Bay, I had in mind a Christmas story for Hannah and Paul. For some reason I saw them as a couple who would love that holiday, and especially in Silver Bay. The fact that they both grew up there and share a love for their home town, made it seem like the right fit for their story to take place at Christmas.

I always start my stories with the characters. I "interview" each one to get the details of their background, what they like and dislike, and even what car they like to drive and why. As I dive deep into who each character is, their stories begin to form and from there, their connections to one another grow.

Hannah's Hope is the first time I have written about a couple who are already married, and I loved sharing more of Paul and Hannah's history together. I believe that romance does not die over time in a marriage, it deepens. It was fun for me to write a couple who already had a deep connection to one another and then see how they navigate life together.

I honestly believe that romance and Christmas are meant for one another, much like Paul and Hannah.

What are some of your favorite Christmas books?

I've officially been and empty nester now for two years. It feels longer, but that's probably because my daughter was the first to leave for college and that was five years ago.

In that time period, there have been a LOT of changes. Some because of decisions my husband and I made, and some because life ebbs and flows and brings about things we can't anticipate.

Some of the ones within our control were things like purge cleaning our house and moving to the beach. We downsized and embraced a new city and lifestyle and then a global pandemic hit. That certainly brought changes beyond our control.

In the midst of that, I finished grad school and then graduated in May of this year. I now work part-time as a chaplain and I also have gone back to writing. (I had taken a bit of a break while getting my masters degree.)

As an empty nester and after graduation, I thought about how I wanted to be intentional in moving forward. I don't want to do things the way I've always done them. But I have found those changes tougher to make than I thought.

Is it because I'm not creative enough in doing things a new way, or possibly lack a level of bravery needed? Is it that I've just become so comfortable with the known that to venture into unknown just seems too big and overwhelming?

I try to give myself grace. It's a process. A journey. As much as I would love a map or a plan, I need to do a bit of trial and error as I go - see what works and leave what doesn't.

I've found myself falling back into ruts where I am doing things the way I used to do them. I become aware and then think through what needs to change.

I think that awareness in and of itself is growth.

One thing I have discovered in this time of life is that most of my day, most of what I do, isn't influenced or driven by anyone but me.

That may seem like a no-brainer since I don't have kids at home anymore so their schedules and needs aren't here, but it's a tougher transition that one might think. It feels weird. And it takes adjusting.

One recent thing I have discovered is how I do my calendar. I live and die by calendars. I found one not long ago in a box of memorabilia that I had from kindergarten.

I had a day planner when I was five. It's true.

I have done a bit of trial and error, going back and forth between using only my phone (electronic calendar) and using a paper day planner. I'm a writer. I love paper and pens, but also appreciate the convenience of the one on my phone.

I found myself seeing different planners online and getting excited and pumped to get organized. And I'll admit I tried a few. However, I sat down the other day and looked at all the journals and calendars and "stuff" I carry and just got tired.

And then it hit me.

I don't have nearly as much on my calendar or to do list as I used to AND THAT'S OKAY.

But again, the reality of it is weird for me and takes some getting used to. We also live in a culture where a full, busy calendar is a badge of honor (but that's a whole other blog post).

In all honesty, a global pandemic has also taken a decent amount of things off my calendar as well. That has also taken quite a bit of getting used to.

Change is hard. And good. And sometimes weird. But I think the biggest thing for me has been to give myself grace and permission. Grace as I acclimate to all the changes and permission to do things in new ways and in ways that work FOR ME.

My husband and I went to the beach yesterday for some Labor Day downtime. We watched as a man nearby set up nine umbrellas for his group. Nine. We discussed how he could have saved himself some time and covered more ground had he used a pop-up, but the result of his efforts was a beautiful little cluster of color that brought joy to that little spot on the beach.

I had to take a photo….

He did things HIS way and it added color and life to those around him.

I’m not saying that how I do my calendar will bring about the same result, but I do wonder what would happen if we all gave ourselves grace and permission to do things in a way that works with who we are and where we are in life. Maybe there would be a bit more color and life in the world.

Is there something in life you could yourself a bit of grace and permission to do differently?

I've been spending time reading a wonderful book called Soulful Simplicity by Courtney Carver. I'm actually re-reading it having read it a few years ago. When I read it the first time, it helped me purge clean my house before my husband and I downsized and moved to the beach as Empty Nesters.

Reading it now is bringing about a whole new level of wanting to live a simpler daily existence. Maybe it's because I'm a few years older, maybe it's because I am in a completely new season of life and maybe it's because I have spent time deep diving into my anxiety issues and seeing how "stuff" has only added to my angst.

As much as I am seeing the clutter around me that has added to my anxiety, I am also recognizing how often I try to "add" things to my life because I think it will enhance the person I feel I need to be rather than embracing WHO I AM.

For example, I was sipping coffee and watching Home Town on Saturday morning. I was also reading favorite blogs. I noticed apps on my phone that I had added to "help" me enhance this Lara I imagine I need to be.

I am now a Chaplain. I read my Bible. I pray. I study. But I had added two apps to "help" me listen and read scripture MORE. As I looked at the apps again Saturday morning, I was reminded of something I already know about myself which is I don't listen, I read. I am not an audiobook person and I only have 2 podcasts I listen to and one of the main reasons is that they are never more than 15 minutes long. For some reason I can sit still for an hour to read something but not more than 15 minutes to listen. (And yes, I've tried listening while driving or doing other things but I end up driving or doing those things and zone out so I don't listen.)

This embracing of who I am (a reader type) and letting go who I am not (a listener type) is freeing. Quite frankly, all of this reminds me of something vitally important that I forget all too often…

I AM ENOUGH

How I read or study scripture is ENOUGH

How I prefer to read over listening is ENOUGH

I don’t need to add MORE to make anything better.

I have all I need.

I AM ENOUGH

It's mental clutter I am learning about this time around as I embrace and glean wisdom about Soulful Simplicity.

I am learning that living simply isn't so much about having less, but rather seeing what I have or who I am is enough.

And it's not just about stuff in my house - physical items. I have always had a mentality that having choices is best. I am learning how false that notion really is. I am becoming aware of how many streaming services I have. Do I need them ALL? Yes, some were acquired during 2020 when watching shows was a part of survival. But how many of them do I really, truly use? And I didn't realize until recently how just knowing they are there is stressful. They are there so I have to use them right? One more thing to do. One more thing to choose from. It's not all that different from the apps either.

So I am trying to pay attention to what I honestly use and what I don't. Or rather, I'm asking myself the question, "Do I have this because I really want this or do I have this because it fits into the category of me trying to be a different version of myself?" If I really want it and use it - including non-tangible items like apps or streaming services - then it stays. If not, it goes.

And it is so awesome how freeing it is to let go.

I have just begun to de-clutter my mental life and it is amazing how free I am feeling already. I was worried about letting go. And on some levels I still am. I appreciate that Courtney says in Soulful Simplicity that it's a marathon and not a sprint. We don't just purge clean our homes and all the emotional "stuff" that led to having more than we need just disappears. It's a process and a journey. And we all live it and walk it in our own ways.

I'm just grateful that my journey has less...less to worry about, less to take care of, and less of stuff I simply don't need.

I have all I need

I am enough

Being out in the world again has reminded me of all the things I want to write about - smiles, great food, wonderful characters, beautiful settings and quite frankly, a renewed sense of curiosity about the world.

Life moves in seasons. With all the changes that came in the past few years, it’s time to begin again. It's a new season.

I begin again…

I find a new normal. I embrace things with wonder and curiosity. And move forward with excitement and joy.

The season I find myself in right now is one of an Empty Nester. It has been a long and painful road to get to a place of peace, and at some point I will blog about the tougher moments.

But for now, life is full of baseball games, road trips, and my husband and I getting to know one another again with all the new things we want to do and try, while having a 30+ years history to build on.

It's a beautiful time. Truly.

I think in many ways we begin again over and over and over in life. After marriage, when a child arrives, when a job changes, when a move to a new city is required…. When kids grow up and leave the nest.

I just recently discovered how much I love the work I am doing. I am writing and now I am working as a Chaplain. I love it. And not that I didn't love any of the other jobs I've had in my lifetime, but this is the first time in 20+ years that I can wake up, have coffee with my husband, walk the dogs and them dive into a work day. I really, really enjoy it.

I being again…

New season. New work.

New can be scary.

And I am beginning to see it can also be great.

Whether you are in a season for a while or headed into a new one, I toast you. I applaud all that you have accomplished and celebrate with you all that is to come. As we begin again after this crazy year or so. Great things are ahead. I know it.

We begin again…