So you've just published that book that you've poured your heart and soul into for the last - who knows how long - and it feels amazing. You're an author now! Sales are all right, you gained a following complete with positive reviews from people you don't even know; the feeling is indescribable.

Then it happens. You get up one morning, turn on your computer feeling terrific and pleased with yourself and find...a poor review of your novel.

To be clear...this is a when it happens scenario, not an if it happens. When you publish, whether your name is Stephen King or complete unknown, you're going to get negative reviews. You want to publish - get used to it.

So there you are staring at that horrible review that is now plastered across the internet suddenly feeling so much less than terrific. So what do you do now? The desire - the urge - to respond to this faceless reviewer can be almost overwhelming.

Who are they to say these things about my work! It's not fair! And not right! If I could only explain to them what they're missing then they'll understand...

Sound familiar? I would strongly advise against responding in any way to those of you who may be feeling the need to "change the reviewers mind". And by the way, that goes for positive reviews as well.

I know we all want interaction with our readers, but the review board is not the place. You post there, you invite only further hurt upon yourself.

I think it can become lost to us on social media sites like Goodreads, in the age of the vast internet, but reviews are not for authors. I can almost see some of you disagreeing with that right now, but it's true. Reviews are for readers; to help the next reader decide what to pick up, or what to avoid.

Before the onslaught of the information age, authors were routinely savaged by vicious reviews - they just didn't know it. The reviews went from reader to reader, and by and large the author never saw them.

Was it better this way? If you're staring at that infernal review...you might say yes.

But no, as with most instances, information when used correctly can only illuminate and help to better your situation. So that being said, how do you use it? How do you react?

If I could here, I'd like to share a deeply personal account of my experiences. I got my first negative - I guess you could call it a review - when I was just a little boy of no more than 9 or 10.

In my school we had a creative writing folder where you could place stories for extra credit. This was a revelation to me. I distinctly remember staying up nights way past my bedtime just writing little stories. Not to gain the credit mind you (as I wasn't doing my assigned homework!) but because I loved writing.

I don't remember most of what I wrote about it then but one story in particular I do remember. It was about a young family who moved into a new home only to discover that it's haunted. Kid's stuff really but hey...I was a kid!

The reason I remember that story is because after I deposited it in the folder the next day my teacher called on me to come to the front of the class. I stood up, pushed my shoulders back and raised my chin high. So proud was I of that story and here was my teacher about to praise me for it in front of everyone. Or so I thought.

What actually happened was she figuratively ripped that story to pieces in front of everybody!

I stood there listening to her criticize my story as my shoulders slowly slumped and my head lowered. More than her venomous words, I could hear the muffled laughter from my classmates. I was 9 or 10 years old...

Her main problem with the story was it "didn't reflect Christian values". It wasn't even assigned work! She rewrote the ending for me while I stood there and everyone laughed. Then she handed the paper back to me and I slinked back to my desk depositing the paper in the trash along the way.

I would not write again for 6 years - until well into high school. Even if it was assigned, I took a zero rather than risk that humiliation again.

You might be thinking that what she did was wrong; and I'd agree but she did teach me a valuable lesson that day...even if it took years to know it.

I learned eventually that you can't look for self-confidence in the eyes of others, you have to find it within yourself. I lost 6 years of writing and improving my craft because I failed to realize this. Please don't let it happen to you.

So you find that negative review...someone doesn't like your words...I say so what?

What should you do now? Move on, forget it, it's just one person's opinion. Even if it's more than one person, if it's a hundred or more, what does it matter to you? Serve as your own critic. If you were proud of what you wrote before some stranger lambasted it online, why shouldn't you still be proud of it?

The danger in becoming wrapped up in what other people think (good or bad) is that you risk losing yourself to it. You risk losing that most precious commodity - time.

So when it happens and somebody says something nasty about a story you love, just remember it's only an opinion. They may not like it but that doesn't mean the next ten people who read it won't love it. It's our differences that make us who we are.

Don't dwell on the negative. Accentuate the positive. And whatever else you do...be sure to keep writing!