It’s been nearly five years since I’ve joined the writing community, Wattpad. I had my shares of ups and down, and ultimately in the span within those years I had published two books. I’ve never expected to get this far as a writer, let alone become a published author. I had a lack of faith in my own skills. However, those who have read my stories hadn’t think less of it.

My readers are important to me. And my respect towards them are very growing. Without them, I wouldn’t be who I am now as a writer.

Here are the 18 vivid posts I had piled up over the years on my private social media page. I don’t share these though for fear of backlash and misconception the kind of person to my readers. But now I’ve grown more confident in my myself. I think it’s time to let the world know a bit of what goes through my head while writing.

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#18

When I write don’t think of the mistakes, I look at how I was able to express my imagination into words.

#17

I’m not really worth that much, but I’m constantly reminded that I can be more than how I perceive myself. I can’t help but smile at the thought. Thank you for telling me how I can inspire, and what I’m doing has some worth.

To all my lovely readers, thank you.

#16

I never expected that I will come to a point in my life that my words and opinion can uplift other people’s spirit and make them motivated to do and continue what they love, which is writing stories.

#15

Separating the different side of your self is like playing different roles from one movie. I’m no Eddie Murphy, but I try.

#14

“So he doesn’t know you exist,

So he lives a whole life different from yours,

So he is in a whole different social status,

So what if the world thinks you isn’t a match.

Nothing would happen if you just sit there and think about all the things that make you incompatible.” – Thoughts that should push female character to act on their feelings.

#13

Why aren’t my character’s affectionate? And noted that every chapter, why they aren’t kissing?

Romantic relationship isn’t just about the intimacy and much on getting to know a person and understanding each other. Romantic love is a bond, much like friendship and family. You don’t need to kiss someone every moment of everyday to show your love. Love can be shown in so many ways rather than through intimacy.

#12

I feel like my characters are lacking something. Having emotionally invested readers, I should do some justice with the story. They deserve that moment, and really, because I’m not a fan, I’ve put this off for this long. Bring on the love, kisses, and cuddles! I’m going to gag and cringe while writing.

#11

Reading about grounds on filing divorce and termination of parental rights. Those are the main materials for my new story. Guess it won’t be an ordinary romance novel to start the year.

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#10

Questioning my line of reasoning towards how a fictional character reacts in a hypothetical situation. And I though I wasn’t crazy enough…

#9

“I love romance. I love humor. And I love those two in a mix. But I do not like myself for it. And it will always feel lacking, because the love I put was borrowed and never my own. I think it’s time to find the right story, which I can be proud of. Maybe it’s time to tell myself I am ready to write THE story.” – This was what I was thinking to myself over a year ago. And now I am writing THAT story.

#8

After writing at least six novels, a few shorts, I though it will get better but it doesn’t. And here I am again. Staring at the computer screen, after prepping and writing the plot lines ahead of time, asking myself ‘What Now?’

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#7

Between writing my current book, prepping for the next one, and researching for next year’s stories, I still find time to sleep more than 8 hours a day. How I get things done this way? I don’t know. Hahahaha! (Unless I start a book or binge watch a series – no time for sleep)

#6

I have this thought about why my readers don’t message me frequently. Maybe they are like me. They are scared to be a bother towards others who you think are busy trying to do work and accomplish things. But really – I’m not busy. I do have time. And I’m happy to answer questions, give advice, and even give feedback on your wonderful works.

I can’t see myself as anything more but what I am. I’m me. Please don’t be shy readers. hahahahaa!!!!

#5

The thing about writing Romance based novels is that at some point people would ask you about romance. They might think I’m some starry-eyed girl, waiting for prince charming in a white horse. But that isn’t me. I wait for no man. And I prefer cuddling with my watermelon pillow collection. (This just got real!)

#4

The more I write about romance-based story. The more I distance myself from such trivial matters of the heart. Its too messy, complicated, and time consuming. I have enough imagining fictional characters going through it.

#3 (Thorns of Angels)

Even after writing online for almost five years now, I had never experience this accomplishment of getting recognition from writing platforms online.

Sure, I had my share by winning a contest in wattpad and got even more recognized, but a feature is something else. The story was handpicked by the Team to be one of the story of the week! And what made me so happy about this, is because this story itself took me two years to gather the wits and courage to write. This wasn’t for basic entertainment. I wrote this book to mean something, to be my first masterpiece that had depth and soul. Not that my other books weren’t also a masterpiece of their own.

But you’ll always have that one favorite from the list. There were so many challenges and struggles going through this road. And the reward is very fulfilling.

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#2

It’s difficult to portray such openness about once sexuality when you yourself don’t even address nor participate on such trivial acts and matters of the heart. But all awkwardness aside, I’m truly having fun swimming in these uncharted waters. I’ve never thought I could have such thoughts that never ever crossed my mind unless I forced myself to think of these situations.

The fun thing about writing is you’re discovering a different side of yourself you never thought you had.

#1

When I was in elementary, I’ve viewed myself as inferior in many aspects in life, especially when it came to intelligence. As a human being, I never saw my importance back then. A few years after, I found a way to keep my darkness at bay. I struggled through it by myself, understanding that no one would be there to go through it with me.

There was a time depression hit hard. I hurt myself in a psychological way, since physical pain leaves marks. I didn’t understand that whatever you do, there would always be a mark left when you are hurting. Visible or not, it is there. I tried to find myself. I never doubt my belief for my God, but that doesn’t mean I cannot doubt. It is always there through life.

As a saying goes, you won’t feel the happiness of life if you have not experience its tragedy. And then, recently, I started writing. They weren’t stories just realizations about life. After I slowly found a fondness and love for words, I wanted to share these realizations in a form that people would connect. Thus, I started writing stories.

Why romance? Because, in love, all aspect of life can be portrayed.

I never though writing would be something that would pull me out of the darkness and find a sense of importance as a person.

I write because I want to inspire and tell them what life had taught me.

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I hope upon reading this I’ve not destroyed any of your perception of the kind of person and writer I am. I’m still the same timid person, who writes romance novels.

Much love ~ Mel.