Here is a shortened version of a letter I just sent to my conservative uncle. I am not an expert in politics, race, or communication, but I wanted to speak to him as best I could from the common ground we do share, using words I hope he will be able to hear.

Sending love. Don’t give up.

Dear Uncle, it meant a lot to me to talk to you last week. I believe you are breathtakingly wrong on almost every single issue, but of course our underlying concerns are the same: we want good lives for our loved ones, and for Americans, and for human beings in general. We want people to be good to one another. We want things to be fair. We want as many people as possible to live in dignity, health and safety, with access to as much happiness as this often cruel world will allow.

Why have we come to such different conclusions about how this could come about? I think it’s partially because we have a fundamentally different idea of what our world looks like now. Our sources for news hardly overlap, and we both think the other’s preferred media outlets are biased & inaccurate. That can make discussion seem impossible. I’m sure you feel the same frustration. This is a challenge we have to face when talking together. 

Why does Trump’s election disturb me so much? Policy-wise, I suspect another republican would have supported most of the same things Trump will. I profoundly disagree with, but am used to: financial deregulation, social conservatism, funding cuts to & privatization of government institutions, rollback of environmental protections, shrinking of social safety nets, tax cuts many consider unnecessary, etc etc etc. Beyond that, I think Trump lacks the competency or temperament for the job, that he’s morally bankrupt, that he lies, & that he’ll use the office for personal gain. The thought that he will be this country’s Commander In Chief is a grim one.

A weird thing about Trump is he’s crappy in ways I had thought most of America agreed on: he’s vulgar & vain & mean & often incoherent, he’s disrespectful of POWs, etc. I don’t think that personality stuff is more important than the policy stuff, but it makes his popularity feel very bizarre.

There are many other more serious issues. The way Trump treats & talks about women is one, his VP’s policies towards gay Americans is another. I am afraid his belief that global warming isn’t real poses an existential threat for humanity. But the thing that is most heartbreaking to me about Trump’s popularity, and his election, is how it will affect non-white folks living in America.

In Trump’s speeches & his rhetoric about Muslims and Mexicans, I see a man talking to majority white audiences and telling them that their complex economic worries, & their fears of violence & discord, can all be blamed on a convenient other. I see him say that America’s problems will go away if this other goes away, through deportations and building walls. I see how his audience reacts when he says these things. Now he’s chosen Senator Jeff Sessions as Attorney General, Lt. Gen Michael Flynn as National Security Adviser, and Steve Bannon as Chief Strategist. As you know, Sessions was declined a position on the federal court in 1986 because of his statements to and about Black Americans, & his biased handling of civil rights issues. Flynn calls Islam “a cancer” - here is a video he posted on social media. And you are familiar with the kind of articles published by Breitbart.

Do you think Trump’s campaign, and the people he is inviting in to the White House, are going to bring us closer to our mutual hope for good, dignified, safe lives for all Americans? Do you think they will help us to see one another as human beings, who have been made by and are loved by God?

Do you remember how non-white people could be treated in this country, legally, just half a century ago? Do you really believe those old ways are safely behind us forever?

America is a diverse country and that is not going to change. I’m scared for the people living here who are not white. I believe they have never been given an even playing field - economically, educationally, politically, or within the criminal justice system. They’ve been denied this even playing field while we told them, and each other, that we were living in an egalitarian, post-racial society. If they haven’t thrived on this uneven playing field it’s been held against them, and sited as proof of their inferiority. Now I believe we will have a president who will not serve them and who will actively work to undermine them. I am scared their lives will get worse; possibly much worse.

I believe that in supporting him you’ve made a terrible mistake.

Thank you for listening. I don’t think I’ll convince you of anything - I wanted to ease my own conscience, and I believe that if there is going to be a United States in the future then nieces and uncles and grandparents and cousins and neighbors are going to need to come together and talk about this stuff. I love you. I’m looking forward to seeing you soon.

Your niece, eleanor