On a very auspicious Saturday, or was it a blessed

ominous Saturday, the twentieth of September, year

two thousand and eight, my first book was launched.

The function was scheduled at five thirty in the

evening, in the arcade on the ground floor of the

most popular mall in town. Well, that was, as told to

me by my publisher and his editorial team.

I was feeling so highly elated to be given this undue

attention as an author and be invited to the function

as the guest of honour, that in my excitement, I

announced it to all my friends, students and

colleagues. I even invited some of them to the

function. The day finally dawned and I reported

there at least an hour and a half before schedule.


There was no sign of any book launch anywhere in

the vicinity. Perhaps, I was a bit too early, I thought.

So I entered a Book Café, ordered a large cappuccino

and decided to wait there.


While sipping my coffee, I slipped into a

reverie….. There is a huge gathering in an

auditorium ….. The stage is lit up with floodlights …I

am being invited on the stage …being greeted with a

bouquet of roses….my guests are being served drinks

and hot snacks … the audience is eager to hear my

inaugural speech…

I rambled on and on till the ring tone of my cell

phone brought me back to my senses. Checking my

watch, I called up my publisher, to ask if he had

reached with the consignment of my books and also

told him that I wanted to see a copy before its

launch. But he said he had just landed at the airport

from Mumbai and would take at least forty minutes

to get there. Meanwhile I went up to the store

manager to enquire about the event and after

making a number of calls he asked me to go to the

first floor of the Fantasy Store. By that time, it was

already five thirty. As I stepped on the escalator to

get to the Fantasy Store, I spotted some of my

students and ex-students in groups, looking for the

venue. Some were frantically calling on their cell

phones. The noise inside the store was deafening,

with salesmen screaming out all kinds of discount

schemes on loud speakers, thanks to the off season

sale! My cell phone was ringing constantly but I

couldn’t hear a thing in that mayhem. I was directed

to the ‘men’s garments’ section rather than the book

store. I tried telling the manager that there had been

some mistake in communication, but, when he told

me that the scheduled venue had to be changed due

to its prior booking by some other ‘party’, I could do

very little. I just stood there transfixed, amid the

men’s garments. Hanging on display, all around me

were colourful shirts, trousers, ties, socks, vests,

jackets and other non-mentionable pieces of

clothing. And popping up from among them, was the

banner of my maiden book!


Within minutes, a plump lady appeared on the scene

and announced on the microphone, in a very funny

accent -

“Whalcom to buk lonch of Ms. Monisha Goopta – a

new author…come one, come all to man’s sakshion

of the Fantasy Store….”

And what was most unnerving, was that she was

repeatedly going on and on, till everyone had settled

down. Sitting with the publisher and the store

manager on the single sofa up there, on the stage,

the whole experience was very disconcerting for me.

To add to my misery, as I held the microphone in my

hand to address the audience, I was incredibly

mortified to see most of my students, including all

the rowdies, in the audience. I had never felt so

challenged by their presence in my class as I did at

that moment. I had already read the smirk on their

faces when they saw me stranded on the stage

literally hounded by those two burly men. The bunk-

masters, the trouble-makers, the gossip-mongers,

even the day-dreamers….they were all there! And

that too in total responsiveness, waiting in the

audience, for the entertainment to begin…What the

hell! Had they come to watch the fun or had they

come to share this moment with me. I saw from the

corner of my eyes, a couple of them, painfully trying

to suppress their uncontrollable laughter! It was

then that I realized my grievous blunder of going

public about my publishing ventures. How special

the day was meant to be for me, as prospering new

author, to be able to hold in hand, my very own

piece of creation! I had never imagined myself,

standing on such a platform and making my debut

speech as a published author. And here I was,

haunted by these unfounded doubts, ruining my

moment of glory. Pretending to be unperturbed by

their presence, I made for the podium confidently

and after a brief introduction of my book I randomly

called out the names of my three most strident

students. Since the book was about the high school

backbenchers, I couldn’t think of a better way than

to have it released by the backbenchers themselves.

Yuvraj, Disha and Akshat, unhesitatingly came

forward, beaming with their unusually broad smiles,

and promptly unveiled the book amid polite

applause. All this while, my anxious eyes couldn’t

wait to have the very first glimpse of my creation.

The moment it emerged partly from the seemingly

unending folds of glitzy wrapping paper and satin

ribbons, my first reaction was quite weird.

“My

goodness! After all the toil and travail, this was the

output?” A thin, actually emaciated looking version

of my healthy conceptualization was gaping at me,

almost pitiably! Rather than grabbing it and hugging

it close to my heart, my head turned away to the

opposite direction, desperately looking for the safest

exit. Under no condition was I going to let myself


become a laughing stock! Definitely not before this

guffawing young audience! As my searching eyes

roamed the length and breadth of the entire store,

the only consolation they could gather was, there

were no tomatoes and rotten eggs anywhere in the

vicinity. Involuntarily, my eyes shut tightly in a silent

prayer before I felt someone placing the book in my

hands. “What was coming next?” I

wondered. But, much to my relief, it was only a

humble request by the publisher, to read out a few

excerpts. In a tone almost defeating and competing

with the haggling of the customers in the ‘Men’s

Section’, I read those lines, that I had very ardently

selected for that moment. I don’t know how much of

it went heard or unheard, but when I saw some book

lovers and even my young ‘non-readers’, waiting in

the queue to buy my book, I was truly overwhelmed.


As the event came to a close, I expressed my

grateful appreciation to all present there. The words

were few, however, the emotions ran deep, and a lot

remained unsaid. While book-signing, the only regret

that remained with me was that I couldn’t treat them

with the hospitality that they were so worthy of!


I returned home still confused whether or not, to

celebrate with pride, my accomplished mission.

Mixed emotions kept me in a suspended state till

late into the night. It was almost past midnight, but

sleep was miles away from me. So, I thought of

checking out the response of the readers on my

blog, least expecting this humorous monologue

posted by one of my favourite ‘backbenchers’ :


“first of

all....hehehheeheahhaahahahhahahahahahha....God ..!

! I’m still laughing after reaching home.! it was one

eventful evening.!! …well.. here it is in my words.…it

was finally Saturday…I .. n my friends had waited for

this day for so long … me n Shefali kept on pestering

everyone around us.. what should we wear.?? should

it be a skirt n a girly top or a jeans n a tee.. u know,

more casual.. or maybe kurta salwar cuz our teachers

might be there….WE didn’t reach a conclusion till

3:30 n decided to wear anything that would get

attention :) .What I had to wear was not the only

problem... my day had it all planned.. hmm.. anyhow..

the evening dawned..it was 4 30 now.. n I was still

deciding whether pink suits better or green. i asked

my dad to rush me to the venue ..my teacher's day

was finally here.. i had seen the unmatchable

excitement on her face during our class lectures

when she talked about this day.. n i for no stupid

reason wanted to miss it. I finally made it to the mall

but to my surprise there was not a single book

displayed out there, in front of the venue.. n on top

of that i saw my classmates n seniors carrying

flowers. ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BRING FLOWERS

TO A BOOKLAUNCH>??? …hehee.. well .. yess.. we

do!...this made me tell Varun to cross the traffic

jammed road, go to market in phase 2 n find pretty

flowers. me n Vaibhav decided to look for the place..

it was 5: 45 / 6 sumthing now…we had :: 1) no

flowers..not even a card wishing good luck. ….2) no

booklaunch….3) no answer to the calls to this author

v were here for..!!!= panic.


But finally we did make it { thru sum guidance of

course} ..n it turned out to be one of d most

cherished evenings.. of course we all bought a copy

of this highly awaited book.. autographed by my

author turned teacher.... n yeah ...the celebration

continued to next day also when maa'm distributed

sweets in class. …wont ever forget it :)


Well, thanks to you, Disha… this has become one of

the sweetest of my blunders that I refuse to regret!

Now THAT is easier said than done. Refusing to

regret your blunders!