I was once asked: what do you generally do on publication day? It was just before my second novel, Rain Falls on Everyone, came out and I remember answering that I wished I had published enough books to have a Publication Day Routine.

Last week my third novel, The Reckoning, was published by Legend Press, and … I’m afraid to say, I still don’t have a routine. Planning a Publication Day Routine would be a bit like buying pink, fluffy booties before the baby is born. I’m much too superstitious for that.

However, I do have some very unhealthy Publication Day Rituals. You’d think by now I’d know better. You’d think I’d be cool. Chilled like Will Smith in MIB.

But no. This is how my Publication Day for The Reckoning went. It’s not pretty and I’m not proud but I figure I might as well tell the truth as I’m not actually writing fiction at the moment.

Wake up. Tell myself it’s only 5 am, there will be no action on social media yet. Wait five minutes. Give in and check Twitter. Wonder why no one is tweeting yet about my amazing new release. Try a variety of keywords. Nothing, except hits for The Reckoning by some guy called John Grisham. Check Facebook and Instagram. No joy. Why didn’t I get Snapchat? (Answer: I couldn’t figure it out). Wonder if it’s too early to send a Publication Day tweet. Don’t want to seem desperate. Probably best to have coffee first. Go downstairs. Wake Simba, the dog, by going into the kitchen. Simba seems unimpressed that today is Publication Day. Make tea for the rest of the family. Feel slightly miffed that no one high-fives me/hugs me/whisks me off to a fancy spa hotel to celebrate Publication Day. Grumpily concede that the girls still have to go to school while husband has to do a motorway awareness course (Don’t ask). Fair enough. Will wait until they go. But eldest daughter is sick. Make her more tea, caress her brow, deliver special Mummy hugs. Feel secretly delighted/relieved/twitchy that I cannot reach my computer or phone from her room. It’s a Publication-Day-Free bubble, albeit a slightly germ-y one.

Push youngest daughter out the door, kiss husband goodbye, distractedly wish him luck. Tell eldest daughter to try to sleep. Head to computer. Refresh all of the aforementioned social media sites, and, of course, Goodreads. First reviews are in. They are not what you would call great. Try to tell myself that two stars are the new four. Am unconvinced. Simba seems unperturbed. Bless his tiny Golden Retriever brain. Decide to walk him by which time the offer for the film rights will undoubtedly be in my inbox. (Actually, that is a lie. We do not walk the dog. The dog walks us). Fail to refrain from checking Twitter while walking dog. But cannot read phone with my glasses on so push them onto my head and end up being dragged through a low-lying tree by Simba while squinting at said phone. Simba stops walking and lies down (a regular occurrence). Try to fake angry voice but really just happy to refresh Twitter and Goodreads. Simba chews grass and stares at sky, as if pondering the position of The Reckoning in the Amazon charts. He appears to find no answers.

Nope, haven’t a clue

Head home, after a bit of a tug-of-dog. Rest of morning evaporates in a flurry of tweeting, Facebooking, Instagramming and Refreshing, Refreshing, Refreshing. Husband comes back, chastened, and whisks (yes, a grey Volvo can indeed whisk, reader) me off to lunch. Have not showered and am in dog-walking clothes so feel a little embarrassed in posh St Albans restaurant. Nothing the prosecco can’t handle.

Sheesh, would you look at the hair!

Well, maybe there’s a twinge of discomfort left. Shall we order wine? Why the devil not. Place phone in handbag. Fingers twitch but guess what? Wine gets rid of that too. Eat wonderful food and forget the bad reviews. Ok, pretend to forget the bad reviews. Decide I am a successful author and my next book will be even better. Husband asks about plot of next book. Rookie mistake but he’s buying lunch so I forgive him. Make vague, but hopefully profound, remarks about failure, redemption, life’s tragic brevity. Wave hands a lot. Manage not to spill wine in heady display of pre-first-draft enthusiasm.

Head home where the computer yawns open like the  maw of a beached whale of despair. I cannot resist. Daughter is feeling better. Make more tea. Later go to pub because, as husband points out, drinking in the daytime is only really fun if you continue drinking. Day ends. Decide not to check the function on my phone that tells me how much screen time I’m guilty of. I fear it may be a tad above average. (And that’s without counting the computer time). Go to bed. Am slightly tearful, deflated and tired. But underneath it all, I’m actually happy. Because the thing that wasn’t a thing is now a thing and it is making its own way in the world.

Tomorrow, I promise myself, I will put it all aside and go back to the day job. I will not dignify Goodreads with even a sideways glance. As for Amazon? Ha! Smamazon. I will be above and beyond it. I will probably not even check Twitter. Well, maybe once. In the morning. And maybe once before lunch. I know, I’ll go into town. Definitely not to check if my book is in the stores though. That would be crazy.

On a serious note: I would like to thank all the bloggers who have taken part in the blog tour for The Reckoning. Your reviews and interviews have meant so much to me. Thank you so much for taking the time and spreading the word. Thank you too to all the readers who have reviewed The Reckoning on Goodreads and elsewhere. I do read every review (see above!) and I value all opinions. Even if I have been known to mutter darkly a bit at first. I’m sorry. I’m only human. Thank you to Legend Press for their tremendous support, and especially my editor Lauren Parsons. To all my friends, your encouragement and faith is a balm to the soul. To my beautiful girls and  wonderful husband, thank you for everything. And finally, to Simba: may your tail always wag, your barks always echo and your eyes always shine.

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https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42068431-the-reckoning?from_search=true