I recently wrote a post entitled, "Can you have a good day without God?" The piece was motivated by my coming across a Facebook post, which was presented as a message from God that read, "Good morning, this is God. I will be handling all your problems today. I will not need your help. So relax, and have a great day." It was hard to know where to begin to address this absurd sentiment, but I gave it a shot in that blog post. This morning I came across this statement, "The key to accessing God's power is to understand how much we need Him to do anything that's of real value in life. The truth is, whether we realize it or not, we're all desperate for God every minute of every day. I am weak, but He are strong."For many years I have seen how this "I am weak, but He is strong"-mindset does damage in people's lives. I have come to refer to it as "religious codependency," which is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on "God." The crippling impact of religion involves the way it convinces people how weak, incapable and helpless they are. This belief and attitude is one of the greatest obstacles and deterrents to personal growth and development. The truth is that you naturally have the ability, capacity, tools and skills to guide and direct your life meaningfully, ethically and effectively. Through the use of your fundamental human faculties such as logic, empathy, reason, critical thinking and moral intuition, you can capably lead your life. Based solely on the merits of being human, you are equipped to take actions, make choices and decisions, and consistently do what is necessary to cultivate a life of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. You are capable of self-management, which is the ability to regulate your emotions and resulting behaviors in ways that are useful and beneficial for yourself and others. This includes coping with unmet needs or desires, and persevering when faced with obstacles and difficulties. This week I received one of the assignments from an individual who is enrolled in my Life After Religion Course. A portion of her assignment read, "Religion cut across my self development as a young person as it discouraged me in thinking for myself and trusting myself. I started believing that my thoughts and especially my feelings could not be trusted. I began a war against my body and mind. Everything had to go through the filter of the belief system which was very authoritarian and male dominated. I was made to feel ashamed of being a woman. It essentially disconnected me from my body, mind and spirit by a deep shame and self hatred. The wound is, lack of self trust and belief in my own strength, power, and goodness, and shame of being who I am." For many people, religion indoctrinated them with a lot of limiting, destructive and self-sabotaging ideas. A few of them are: I am inherently bad. I can't trust myself. My heart is wicked. I deserve punishment. I don't measure up. I am powerless. Self-denial is holiness. I need forgiveness for who I am. I need saved from myself. I am worthless on my own. Staying in an abusive relationship is spiritual. Clinical therapy is a lack of faith. Self-care is selfish. The world is evil. If I mess up I will lose my salvation and go to hell. People I deeply love are in hell or will go there. Everything outside my church culture is a threat. I can never be good enough. Feelings are dangerous and not trustworthy. I am not capable of thinking for myself. Conformity is true discipleship. Questioning is a spirit of rebellion. I must be perfect. My struggles mean I am not trusting God. These and other toxic religious beliefs can destroy your life. Even after "leaving religion" these destructive mindsets stay in you. They don't just magically disappear because you stopped going to church or dumped your theology. It requires a dedicated effort to address and move past them. But the idea that you are powerless and inept to guide and manage your life is false. Some of the most important work I do with people through my Life After Religion Courseand through individual counseling with people recovering from religion, is help rid them of these self-sabotaging beliefs.