The Ultimate Productivity Hack is Saying No
The ultimate productivity hack is saying no.
Not doing something will always be faster than doing it. As I heard one computer programmer say, “Remember that there is no code faster than no code.” 1
The same applies in many areas of life. There is no meeting that goes faster than not having a meeting at all. This is not to say you should never attend another meeting, but the truth is that we say yes to many things we don't actually want to do. There are many meetings held that don't need to be held. There is a lot of code written that could be deleted. In work and personal life, there is a lot of wasted time and energy.
The Default Reply
When an opportunity arises, saying yes seems to be the default reply. Sometimes this is out of social custom, sometimes out of habit, sometimes due to a lack of clear priorities.
To a certain degree, we appear wired to say yes. For most of human history, our ancestors lived in a world where opportunities were scarce. The human mind had to say yes to each opportunity to find food and water, seek shelter, and secure safety, or it wouldn't survive.
But the modern world is one of abundance, not scarcity. Most of us have more calories, more choices, and more information than we know what to do with. Despite the fact that we could pick and choose activities more carefully than ever before, we still seem to jump at any opportunity as if it would be hard to find something to do with our time. As the author Nassim Taleb has noted, “Abundance is harder for us to handle than scarcity.”
NOTE: The stuff below referencing explore/exploit relates to this and hints at a real-world example (starting a career and needing to say “yes” to everything at first). Maybe group all this together.
Whether out of evolutionary wiring or simple habit, nobody seems to question things. How often do people ask you to do something and you just reply, “Sure thing”? Three days later, you're overwhelmed by how much is on your to-do list. We become frustrated by our obligations even though we were the ones who said yes to them in the first place.
We are particularly bad at saying no to what we have already started. Saying no to the rest of a bad movie. Quitting a terrible book. Stopping a project that no longer serves you. We seem adamant about finishing a task once it has been opened.
Even worse, people will occasionally fight to do things that waste time. “Why can't you just come to the meeting? We have it every week.” Just because it's scheduled weekly doesn't mean it's necessary weekly.
It's worth asking if things are necessary. Many of them are not, and a simple “no” will be more productive than whatever work the most efficient person can muster. I am reminded of the famous Peter Drucker quote, “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”
The Difference Between Yes and No
The words “yes” and “no” get used in comparison to each other so often that it feels like they carry equal weight in conversation. In reality, they are not just opposite in meaning, but of entirely different magnitudes in commitment.
When you say no, you are only saying no to one option. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option. Once you have committed to something, you have already decided how that future hour will be spent. As Brent Beshore put it, “Saying “no” is so powerful because it preserves the opportunity to say “yes.” 2
Saying no gains you time in the future. Saying yes costs you time in the future. No is a form of time credit. You retain the ability to spend your time however you want. Yes is a form of time debt. You have to pay it back at some point.
In short: No is a decision. Yes is a responsibility.
Earning the Right to Say No
In most fields, you have to go through a period where you say yes to nearly every opportunity before you can earn the right to say no to nearly every opportunity.
Learning to make this switch is hard. At least, it was very hard for me.
This tradeoff between yes and no is something I felt very acutely during the year after publishing Atomic Habits. It was my first book and I felt like I needed to say yes to every opportunity to give it a chance to be successful. I did over 200 interviews in 6 months. I reached out to every person I could imagine being interested in the book. I took any speaking gig. I did whatever I could.
And then, almost overnight, I had more than I could handle. I had to start turning down interviews. I had to be selective about which speaking engagements I accepted. I had to learn to say no.
But saying no isn't a privilege reserved for the successful among us. It's a practice that can actually help you become successful. Even in the beginning, you need to learn to say no to whatever isn't leading you toward your goals. Most of the time we refer to this by another name: staying focused.
The people who do valuable work often have a remarkable willingness to say no to distractions and focus on one thing. Nobody embodied this idea better than Steve Jobs, who said, “People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.” 3
If you lack the ability to say no to distractions, then achieving something meaningful is an uphill battle. As one reader told me, “If you broaden the definition as to how you apply “no”, it actually is the only productivity hack (as you ultimately say no to any distraction in order to be productive).” 4
NOTE: Maybe add a paragraph or two about how to know what to focus on / what to say no to. I'm reminded of this article: https://jamesclear.com/values-choices
Getting Better at Saying No
Saying no is useful at any time, but generally it becomes more important as you grow older. You have less time left and you're more clear about what matters to you, so you should be saying no to more things and doing what you enjoy most.
In the beginning, you have to say yes more frequently so you can discover what works and what you enjoy. You have to try things out. As you experiment, you come to learn what you enjoy and what actions get the results you're looking for.
Once you know what matters, you should increasingly say no to anything that doesn't.
How to Say No
Learning to say no is a powerful skill because it retains the most important asset in life: your time. As the investor Pedro Sorrentino put it, “If you don’t guard your time, people will steal it from you.” 5
You might be thinking, “Sure, man. That sounds great, but you try saying no to my boss tomorrow morning.” In cases like this, I like the approach recommended by the author Greg McKeown. In his book, Essentialism, he writes, “One effective way to do that is to remind your superiors what you would be neglecting if you said yes and force them to grapple with the trade-off. For example, if your manager comes to you and asks you to do X, you can respond with “Yes, I’m happy to make this the priority. Which of these other projects should I deprioritize to pay attention to this new project?” Or simply say, “I would want to do a great job, and given my other commitments I wouldn’t be able to do a job I was proud of if I took this on.” I know a leader who received this response from a subordinate. There was no way he wanted to be responsible for disrupting this productive and organized employee, so he took the nonessential work project back and gave it to someone else who was less organized!” 6
Be gracious in your response. I think most people are afraid to say no because they don’t won’t be seen as rude or arrogant. So take the time to give a gracious response that thanks the person for thinking of you. If you know someone who is still in the stage of their career in which they’re saying “yes” to everything, maybe you could even recommend that person for the project you’re being asked about. Everyone wins.
Learning to say no doesn't mean you'll never say yes. It just means no is the default. By saying no to almost everything, you can say yes to the things that matter most to you. You say no to most things life tosses your way so you can say yes to your kids or watching Netflix or whatever it is that you actually want to do with your time. Each experience has to justify becoming a yes. You don't have to agree to something just because it exists.
NOTE: Most people will probably be thinking of the application of this article in one of two ways: 1) as a way to free up time to spend on important life stuff like family or hobbies, or more likely 2) in terms of productivity. Add some more tangible productivity examples.)
What you say no to will shape your day, your career, your family, and your life.
Say no, more. Say yes, carefully.
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Say yes early, say no late.
Default to no. Earn a yes.
Start with no.
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As productivity writer Mike Dariano has pointed out, “It’s easier to avoid commitments than get out of commitments. Saying “no” keeps you toward the easier end of this spectrum.” 7
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“One trick is to ask, “If I had to do this today, would I agree to it?” It’s not a bad rule of thumb, since any future commitment, no matter how far away it might be, will eventually become an imminent problem. Here’s a more extreme version of the same principle. Adopt a rule that no new task can be deferred: if accepted, it must be the new priority. Last come, first served. The immediate consequence is that no project may be taken on unless it’s worth dropping everything to work on it.” -http://timharford.com/2015/01/the-pow... (Note: This whole article is pretty good)
Footnotes
Taligent's Guide to Designing Programs. https://twitter.com/KevlinHenney/stat...
https://twitter.com/BrentBeshore/stat...
Jobs had another great quote about saying no: “I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying ‘no’ to 1,000 things.”
https://twitter.com/brandonousey/stat...
https://pedrosorren.substack.com/p/st...
Hat tip to my friend, Shane Parrish, at Farnam Street who shared this insight from McKeown in the article, “Eight Ways to Say No With Grace and Style.”
Shane Parrish has a rule of thumb for meetings: “If you wouldn’t do it right now, say no.” A similar philosophy could be extended to many areas of life. If it's exciting enough to drop whatever you're doing, then it's a yes. If it's not, then think twice.
Another useful heuristic is the well-known “Hell Yeah or No” method from Derek Sivers. If an opportunity does not elicit a “Hell Yeah!” reaction, then it should be a no. [footnote]https://sivers.org/hellyeah
