Virgin Trains has submitted some ideas to the government on how the futures of all our trains might be better organised, ideas which it says are all about improving the services. Services that Virgin probably won’t be providing any more.

Big Idea One is to open a national ticketing service that guarantees everyone a seat on their chosen long distance train trip, ending the misery of overcrowding and chancing it and having to sit of the floor by the toilets for four and a half hours like someone who’s stealing a journey. Big Idea Two is even more of a systemic wrench, as it suggests binning the current franchise system and instead having the rail operators bid for berthing slots at rail stations, in a similar way to how airlines book up chunks of time and tarmac at the nation’s airports.

Virgin explained Idea One with: “…customers could buy a flexible ticket which would allow them to change trains and make a reservation for a different service if there was space. Customers would be free to choose a popular train at a higher price, or a less popular train at a lower price.”

No one seems particularly keen on listening to Virgin’s suggestions, mind, as a spokesperson from the RMT union says it would, as ever, see companies bidding for the most lucrative slots and leaving the rubbish old east/west regional commuter lines abandoned.