Different Paths…Vikki Patis talks about The Road Not Taken
To celebrate the publication of The Path to the Sea I’ve asked some authors about their turning points. Today Vikki Patis talks about her clear fork in the road moment…
This topic is always a favourite of mine. I’m one of those people who has come across a very clear fork in the road, and I’ve had to make a decision which would ultimately impact my life in a huge way. The first and most important such occurrence is a bit dark, so please bear with me.
I had what one might politely call a rubbish childhood. My father was physically abusive, and I grew up in a very negative and at times dangerous environment. When I was 18, my father died, and I suddenly had this explosion of freedom. What was I going to do with it? Like many 18 year olds, I had a wobble, but perhaps unsurprisingly, that wobble ended up with me spending a night in a police cell. Not my proudest moment, but I felt that that was my destiny – to continue along the path my parents had set for me. To continue in anger, aggression, anxiety. In the morning, I was interviewed by a police officer, who went through the formalities and, thankfully, let me off without charge. When he switched off the tape, he turned to me and said, ‘Don’t let your past, or your family, dictate your future.’ I’ll never forget those words. I decided there and then, at 18 years old, scared, exhausted, confused, to follow his advice.
And so I went to college to finish my A levels, then onto university to study policing and then criminology. I moved far away from home and built a life for myself elsewhere, with new friends and new experiences. It wasn’t easy – there was a lot of time spent alone, with very little money, but I got through it. And I, for the most part, loved it. I worked to become someone else, someone different. I worked to have a life worth living.
The path not taken was the easiest path. The path with no education, no career, no release from my past. That path would have seen me still working in a supermarket, still caught up in the dramas of my fragile childhood friendships, still living with my mum and siblings and arguing all the time. That path would have seen me continue to drink heavily just to escape. That path would have, quite possibly, seen me in an early grave like my father, whose death I believe was caused by his own demons poisoning him from within, at least in part.
The path I chose was hard, and it was a long one. Now, five years after I graduated from university, I can finally look back and say that I’ve made it. I’m married, with a career in regulatory affairs, and I’m an author. Being an author was always my dream. Books were one of my escapes when I was young; I could run away from the violence and depression by jumping into a book. Now, writing books is my release. I use it as a kind of therapy, to write about what happened to me in the past, and to move through it. It’s taken years for me to build some semblance of a relationship with my remaining family members, and it is only recently that I decided that I needed to do so on my own terms.
The beginning of my life may have been bad, but I’m determined to have a good middle and end. We are the sum of our experiences, but we shouldn’t let our past dictate our future. A different path is out there, you just have to find it.
Here’s a bit about Vikki’s latest book….
You can find more from Vikki on her website https://vikkipatiswrites.wordpress.com
And her books here:
The Diary: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Diary-completely-addictive-psychological-thriller-ebook/dp/B07GWBDDXS/
The Girl Across the Street: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07L8H8KMG
This topic is always a favourite of mine. I’m one of those people who has come across a very clear fork in the road, and I’ve had to make a decision which would ultimately impact my life in a huge way. The first and most important such occurrence is a bit dark, so please bear with me.
I had what one might politely call a rubbish childhood. My father was physically abusive, and I grew up in a very negative and at times dangerous environment. When I was 18, my father died, and I suddenly had this explosion of freedom. What was I going to do with it? Like many 18 year olds, I had a wobble, but perhaps unsurprisingly, that wobble ended up with me spending a night in a police cell. Not my proudest moment, but I felt that that was my destiny – to continue along the path my parents had set for me. To continue in anger, aggression, anxiety. In the morning, I was interviewed by a police officer, who went through the formalities and, thankfully, let me off without charge. When he switched off the tape, he turned to me and said, ‘Don’t let your past, or your family, dictate your future.’ I’ll never forget those words. I decided there and then, at 18 years old, scared, exhausted, confused, to follow his advice.
And so I went to college to finish my A levels, then onto university to study policing and then criminology. I moved far away from home and built a life for myself elsewhere, with new friends and new experiences. It wasn’t easy – there was a lot of time spent alone, with very little money, but I got through it. And I, for the most part, loved it. I worked to become someone else, someone different. I worked to have a life worth living.
The path not taken was the easiest path. The path with no education, no career, no release from my past. That path would have seen me still working in a supermarket, still caught up in the dramas of my fragile childhood friendships, still living with my mum and siblings and arguing all the time. That path would have seen me continue to drink heavily just to escape. That path would have, quite possibly, seen me in an early grave like my father, whose death I believe was caused by his own demons poisoning him from within, at least in part.
The path I chose was hard, and it was a long one. Now, five years after I graduated from university, I can finally look back and say that I’ve made it. I’m married, with a career in regulatory affairs, and I’m an author. Being an author was always my dream. Books were one of my escapes when I was young; I could run away from the violence and depression by jumping into a book. Now, writing books is my release. I use it as a kind of therapy, to write about what happened to me in the past, and to move through it. It’s taken years for me to build some semblance of a relationship with my remaining family members, and it is only recently that I decided that I needed to do so on my own terms.
The beginning of my life may have been bad, but I’m determined to have a good middle and end. We are the sum of our experiences, but we shouldn’t let our past dictate our future. A different path is out there, you just have to find it.
Here’s a bit about Vikki’s latest book….
You’re hiding a secret that only she can see.
Her name is Beth. She came into my life when I needed her the most. We lead very different lives, but she’s the only person who understands me.
She was the only other witness to the terrible accident on the street between our homes. The only person who saw the cracks in my perfect life before I had the chance to cover them up.
It’s been so long since I’ve had a friend. Someone to talk to, to listen to, to laugh and dream with.
Beth would never do anything to hurt me.
She only wants what’s best for me, for my marriage.
Doesn’t she?
You can find more from Vikki on her website https://vikkipatiswrites.wordpress.com
And her books here:
The Diary: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Diary-completely-addictive-psychological-thriller-ebook/dp/B07GWBDDXS/
The Girl Across the Street: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07L8H8KMG
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