I have a pain in my toe
A pain in my heel.
Ever since I turned ninety-six
I’ve always been ill.

I have no appetite for love
I’d rather have a new leg.
But if you can't manage that
Then how about a poached egg?

My eyesight's good as gold
And I’m handsome as I’ve always been.
But I was recently told
That lying is a sin.

My hands are a bit shaky
And I swear quite a bit.
It’s normally when I lose at bingo
Or if someone sits where I sit

I’m told I’m ace on the dance floor
A bit like Fred Astaire.
They put a sign on me at The Waldorf
‘Be Careful And Beware.’

Now I need my nightcap
Before I’m sent to bed.
But never think of bad things
Only ever look ahead!

© 2019, Daniel Kemp All rights reserved.