The Goblin King was vain, and inclined toward cruelty. He was also, as Sarah regretfully discovered the first night she allowed herself to be seduced by a visiting dignitary from the elves, not a particularly skilled lover. And he laughed at his own jokes.

Still, Sarah did not regret the decision she’d made all those years ago. Not really. Her half-brother seemed happy enough as a goblin. These days, he wore a strange little hat and lived with another goblin on the edge of the city. Privately, Sarah hoped he had no memories of being human. Publically, she was careful to ignore him.

And if there were ever times, after she’d had too much wine or when the King had spent an excruciatingly long time forcing the goblins to dance for his amusement, when she strayed down the path of regret, Sarah would catch herself. 

What exactly had her other options been?

Returning to the human world? Now, there’s a dead end. What would she have done with herself in the human world? A few years at the community college, perhaps; her grades had never been impressive. Weekend performances at the local theatre, most likely. And a string of dead-end relationships with vain, cruel men who would have all reminded her, on some level, of the Goblin King. 

She probably would have found a day job where her pretty features and ability to act interested would be an asset, something involving a front desk and framed pictures of her cats and a telephone ringing every fifteen minutes.

Then the years would have ticked by, the same as they did in the Goblin Kingdom. Only, instead of watching her subjects, Sarah would have been watching men with far less experience than her move past her desk and into their own offices as her vain, cruel lovers became fewer and fewer and her roles at the community theatre narrowed to wicked stepmother, wicked witch. Wicked old woman.

No. 

At least here she lived in a castle.

At least here she was Queen.

* * * * *

Just like half the freaking world, we’re on plague lock-down here in Maine. It’s given us a lot of time to introduce our kids to the classics – by which I mean movies from the late 80s.

Watching Labyrinth again reminded me of how I’d always wanted Sarah to stay in the Goblin Kingdom. Only now that I’m 40, the Goblin King’s offer doesn’t seem quite as attractive as it did when I was 13. Perhaps Sarah would have felt the same way after a few decades of “Pit of Eternal Stench” jokes/threats… but would she have admitted it?

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