I am not a person who lives to be in the spotlight, as a matter of fact that is something I rather try to avoid. I know that being an Author means you have to get out there, so i try. I dont push people to follow me or spam their sites with endless buy my book links. I dont push people into advertising me or promoting me because I truly hope that my skills as a Writer will win them over...am I naive? maybe.
Up until now I have stayed away from anything that could be controversial. I guess i wanted to play it safe but that is not the way my writing style works. I want to write about dark things, I dont want to shy away becuase I am afraid of the backlash. bad things in this world happen, I wish they didnt but they do. So why am i bring this up...well I am about to write some stuff that might not sit well with everyone.
Let me make it clear what I write about doesnt mean I support that behaviour. If I write about a killer doesnt mean I htink people should kill, rape doesnt mean I think it shoudl happen etc. Right now I am workign on a piece about an abuseive relationship. The main girl charater is torn between knowing she should leave and wanting to stay with the man she fell in love with. There are intense scenes which (i hope) make people wonder what is goin on in this girls head. Violence against women is never ok! but it isnt all as black and white. You cant just stop loving someone because they have hurt you.
Here are some sample scenes---
I opened my eyes. “I am sorry.” I said almost robotically. Any tone was to roll the dice of danger. There was a sharp sting to the side of my face as his palm smashed into it. I hurry to put a little clothing on as Carter paces the room. He reminds me of a tiger that has been caged for too long. Back and forth he moves as I dress, his hand running though his hair in frustration.
“You’re sorry. Sorry for what? Sorry for being stupid? Sorry for making me lose my temper? ... What is it you’re sorry for Ivy?” he demanded in a rage. No answer would be the right one. I already had learnt that so I went for the safest option, still fighting back tears.
“I am sorry… I make you hurt me.” I whisper not wanting to anger Carter further.
My mind making that mental leap so that now my body responded to his. I hated when my body betrayed me like this. His words ringing in my ears…did some part of me really like when he lashed out at me like this? I thought about it as one hand lifted my leg so it was hooked around his waist. The pressure was still firm around my throat but no longer was it life threatening. I could breathe and kiss him back just fine. Carter’s fingers brushed over the cotton fabric of my panties making me groan. Good God, was I sick and perverted? I shouldn’t be thinking of sex! What was wrong with me?
Carter kissed the bruises he had put there caringly, taking his time to savor me. Taking off my clothing as if I were once more a gift in his eyes. I wanted to lose myself in his tenderness. This was the man I had fallen in love with. He loved me; sometimes he loved me so much it hurt. And while he was making love I realized that love didn’t matter if I were dead.
These are just a few scenes as you can see, they might not be to everyones liking. The story line I promise will be good but there is going to be violence. There might even be a moment or two where you stop and think. It might anger you or make you sad. My goal is to give myself a chance at writing what i want to write. I have toned down stuff because I was scared. I dont want to do that anymore. Writing is an adventure, something I am passionate about and something I wish to do for a living. I really hope this story does well but if not atleast I have something where I can say..."wow I put 110% of myself into that."
Here is the story line for those of you who might be interested :)
Ivy needs to escape her boyfriend, Carter, but she doesnt know he is a werewolf and is having problems with control now that his genetics are kicking in. Ivy meets a doctor who is also a hunter and he convinces her to join him. Little does Ivy know this is a ploy as the doctor casts a spell which turns Ivy into a siren. Now men are crazy for her and she sturggles to find a normal relationship. Carter finds her with every intent to kill her for being unfaithful but she kills him. The doctor abandons Ivy and she is left to fend for herself which isnt easy because of Ivys past...she is attracted to evil, mean, paranormal guys. Now Ivy believes that the only way to make something good out of her life is to kill the men she finds herself attracted to.