Day 10,006 of Quarantine. I have alphabetized the pantry. I already bake my own bread, so the next step in my cry for help is learning new recipes so I don’t waste my discard. Last weekend, I baked double chocolate chips cookies with sourdough starter. They were weirdly delicious. We are all surprised. I’d like to attempt doughnuts next, but the summer has been hot and humid and the most delicious doughnuts in the world cannot tempt me to stand over a pot of frying oil for any length of time. Not yet. Ask again in two weeks.

I realize my life is pretty boring right now, but let’s be honest: I wouldn’t have anything more exciting to say even if the Great Plague were not keeping me in isolation. I’m not an exciting person and never aspired to be. The last few months have really given me a greater appreciation of how “May you live in exciting times” could be considered a curse in so many cultures. I anxiously look forward to a time when I have the option of being bored again.

But for now, I’m making the best of things at home, baking too much, spending more time with my dog, decluttering and cleaning, and of course, writing. I wish I could send all of you a cookie (no lie, they’re really good), but at least I can share my book with you. There is a new chapter of my fanfic, Everything Is All Right, Part IV: New Faces, Old Bones up on archiveofourown.org and fanfiction.net, for those who are reading along. Go check it out!

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Ana breathed in more smoke. She didn’t need more. The effects were already hitting, fast and beautifully hard, like a hammer wrapped in cotton candy and sprinkled with glitter. She leaned back against the wall, staring at the overhead lights, surprised to see the auras jeweling up around the edges. “Is this stuff dusted?”

“Nope.”

“It doesn’t feel like your other stuff. It’s stronger.”

“Damn right it is. This is pure Purple Princess.”

Her mind’s eye immediately conjured Erik Metzger, crowned, kneeling to gather the young girl she must have been into his open arms. She shook her head hard, dispelling the image like more smoke. “Never heard of it.”

“I’m not surprised. It’s popular with a certain crowd, but it’s not really a ‘fun’ smoke.”

“A certain crowd?” Ana echoed.

Yoshi shrugged, staring into Foxy’s exposed battery case and avoiding her gaze. “People with severe anxiety issues, trauma, PTSD…I take it for panic attacks. Other people tend not to like it because it goes from happy-floaty to gentle suffocation real quick. You don’t really get a chance to, you know, enjoy the experience, but…sorry, but I figured the goal tonight wasn’t to put you into a good mood as much as—”

“Put my lights out?”

“—get you out of a bad one,” Yoshi finished tactfully.

“And you were right. See?” she added, glaring at Freddy, who smoothed out his scowl before Yoshi could look around. “It’s medicinal. It’s not just me who says so. This man is a registered super-genius. He went to all kinds of college and could probably wipe his ass with degrees for a week and still find some to hang on the wall, and even he says it’s medicinal.”

“Who are you talking to?”

Ana pointed and then had to sit there for a million years with invisible dots scrolling by over her head while she blanked on the name he was supposed to be going by. “Barry,” she said triumphantly. “Barry doesn’t believe in recreational intoxication, which is his opinion and he’s entitled to have one, but I’m medicating and he needs to back his big bear ass off me when I do it.”

Yoshi took that in stride. “Well, you can tell Barry that he can relax. I’m responsible for you while you’re under my roof and I take that responsibility seriously.”

Freddy grunted.

Yoshi looked at him.

“You’re getting high right along with me, man,” Ana said dryly. “He’s not impressed and neither am I, for that matter. I’ll tell you what I tell him: I can take care of myself. I always have and I always will.”

Yoshi nodded sagely. “In my experience, there’s two kinds of people who say that. The kind who really can and the kind who’ve just had to because no one else was around.”

“Uh huh. Look at him,” Ana muttered, returning her narrow stare to Freddy. “Look at him just…disapproving of my lifestyle. He’s only waiting for you to leave the room so he can start in on me.”

Freddy’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly.