If the haunted house genre was a goldmine, it would be abandoned by all but the most stubborn prospectors. The walls would be smooth. Pickaxes would litter the ground, abandoned where they fell when the writer moved on to pick at the walls of some other, less trodden sub-genre.

Before you scream “Attack this man for besmirching my favorite thing!”, please keep in mind that I love a good haunted house. It’s my horror home, the trope that got me started. There are still numerous practition...