Activities with friends and family keep connections strong. Photo credit: Unsplash

On this official first day of autumn in the United States, I reflect upon changes. An early September post highlighted embracing change; this week, I want to focus on relational change.

During the weekend, I spent time with my parents; my mother is 82 and my father is 85.With age comes change. Just as I am now 60 and different from when I was 30 or even 40, so my parents are not the same as when they were 40, 50, even 60 years of age. Memory isn’t as strong, especially for my dad, and anxiety (especially during travel) plagues him (he drove from Montana, where he and mom live, to Wyoming where I live), and that anxiety manifests itself in various ways. This will likely be their last trip to Wyoming; I will be making more trips to Montana, which is not a problem for me as I enjoy traveling to the Big Sky State.

During our visit, we reminisced about the many travels we took as a family; those memories brought laughter and smiles. We talked about the different animals that shared our lives, from turtles when I was five years old to saying goodbye to our first cat when I was 17. We discussed ornery horses and funny pigs, silken-haired rabbits and lake-loving ducks. We reflected upon rock gatherings and fishing expeditions, baseball games and Christmases shared with grandparents, and the many meals shared with friends and other family members.

My father and I on a bus trip through Denali National Park in Alaska. Photo credit: Greg Irwin

Seasons have come and gone; so have friends and family. Relationships change, sometimes for the better, sometimes not. Some people share our lives for a season and then they are gone, whether in death or through simply drifting apart. One of my parents’ sisters-in-law passed away from cancer recently, and that loss hurt all our hearts. We honored her by remembering her with fondness. We’ve also lost friends, including some of my classmates, to cancer, heart attacks, and COVID, and we’ve lost touch with people who once shared meals and time in our family home.

As I grow older, I feel sorrow over lost connections, especially the drifting apart because that’s preventable. Family and friends are vital to our growth as humans, and yet some relationships just don’t seem to be strong enough to survive moves, the addition of children and/or grandchildren, or the turmoil and busyness of life. I find that sad because it’s avoidable.

At times, we discover new connections, whether through work, church, a shared passion, or some other tie. Needless to say, we humans are always changing, whether for the positive or the negative. Hopefully, though, through that change we grow in a good direction.

A group of writer friends and I during a recent booksigning event. Photo credit: Our Brothers Keeper Bookstore

As a writer, I constantly make new connections, whether through a speaking engagement, an online group, my day-job, or fellow writers. I recently learned of a regional magazine with which I was not familiar thanks to another writer; I now have two assignments to complete for that publication before year-end. I look forward to furthering that relationship and developing new ones with other publications to which I plan on reaching out.

Just as the characters in my novels develop relationships in the form of friendships and/or love interests, so do real life humans.

What is the health of our relationships, especially in those that are changing (elderly parents, family health issues, financial change, job situation, empty-nesting)? How are we growing during the changes?

It’s not an easy road to travel. May we each face the changes and the challenges with grace, humbleness, and strength.

Travel, laughter, nature, family, friends — all add to the joys in our lives and help us grow. Photo credit: UnsplashPet Principle

I met two kittens recently – adorable orphans being cared for by friends. These lively bundles of joy brought smiles to my face the many times I interacted with them. I thought of my own 16-year-old “grumpy grannies” at home, who, instead of bounding up and down stairs with frolicking ease, gingerly step on each step as arthritic hips and backs make their climb cumbersome … and likely painful. My two girls were once 12-week-old kittens, running and jumping, pouncing and skidding. We care for our animals through the years, engaging in play when they’re young and sitting quietly with them when they’re older. More pets and cuddles and less tossing toys and chasing balls (or feathers). Hopefully, however, our commitment to our pets no matter what season of life they’re experiencing remains solid. That’s a relationship that should never change.

Maverick and Minnie, abandoned by their mother after being weaned, are being cared for by friends of mine who own a ranch outside of town. Photo credit: Gayle Irwin