I just came from the pizza parlor that doubles as a global headquarters for child trafficking. I counted up some ballots that proved the election was stolen.

On the way back, I stopped by the drugstore to fill a prescription. I tried to tell the pharmacist about how 9/11 was an inside job, but she was busy implanting microchips into other customers.

Okay, let’s slow down. I’d like to address a topic that has become increasingly relevant: how to talk to someone who believes in a consp...