I have a friend—honest, I do have friends—who posted a meme—you know what those are—on Facebook, now called META for some reason, a frame from an old Disney cartoon with the text “If you can't say nuffin' nice, don't say nuffin' at all!”
You might expect this to be coming from the mouth of a squirrel or chipmunk but, no, in this cartoon it was from a cute little bunny. That’s okay. I love bunnies and squirrels and chipmunks equally. Don’t you?
My friend is, generally speaking, what some would call “a person of faith” and I never quibble with her over this. I know this meme was not directed at me or any other individual, directly.
On the other hand, over dinner and such she has mentioned this “idea” to me in conversation as I do have a tendency—for arguments sake, let’s call it that—to criticize.
Now. I genuinely believe that the idea represented in that Disney cartoon is a good lesson. For children. Which is why it is in a cartoon.
Young children need to be taught that criticism is dangerous. This is why adults should never criticize children. But I’m not a therapist so that’s for someone else to discuss.
However, when a child reaches a certain age—let’s say just before tween-time—they have to begin to understand how the real world works. Because if they don’t they will run the enormous risk of becoming emotionally, ethically and morally warped, ultimately causing themselves and others great harm.
Using the example of “certain” people of faith… Some would have it that one does not criticize because “God” is at work, always. Therefore, let God “criticize.” The next logical step, therefore, is that “God” punishes and rewards. Then, those who are “good” get “rewards” and those who are “bad” are “punished.”
How easy life is, then. One does not have to be involved. Let “God” handle everything and you go about your business.
Which creates a series of problems for the children as their minds awake. They begin to see “good” people being “punished” and “bad” people being rewarded” and they don’t know how this can be possible.
Then, to make matters worse, they think of themselves being “good” and find that they are being punished. Out of the blue. For no reasons at all.
Until, for some, one day they say, “Why even bother trying to be good?”
Perhaps some will ask the question of the “right” person and be told, “God’s ways are mysterious.”
And good luck with that.
But what is the alternative? That we all grow up criticizing everything we believe to be flawed or wrong?
That would create chaos. REMEMBER: CRITICISM IS DANGEROUS. That necessary lesson from childhood remains true.
Criticism is the father of judgment. How can we judge, as individuals, what we do not understand? Do we really believe that we can ever fully understand what we are judging?
Only as a large, engaged, well-informed and involved group can we even come close to understanding and judging. Does any of that ring a bell?
This is why, as many have said, democracy, for all of its flaws, is the best system of governance.
Do not allow anyone, of any stripe, to take that away from you.