It was only a matter of time before I ran outta steam … I am still dealing with a medical situation that is taking a lot out of me after all, and some of the more serious symptoms are back.  So, for the past couple of days I’ve run out of steam sooner than I like. But I still made today’s goal and I am now closer to the halfway point, than I am to the starting point (just). And I lost myself in one of my writing tasks today – that kind of focus hasn’t been easy to achieve since this medical stuff started, so I didn’t want to break the spell – but interruptions happen and I eventually lost that momentum. But I enjoyed having that focus for a change.

[image error]So what held my focus? I was copying over more of my notes from the still-not-shrinking-fast-enough pile of notebooks and papers, and a large section was related to The Crush … a book that I started 20-odd years ago, and that I have returned to over a few NaNoWriMo sessions.

It wasn’t just copying over the notes that held my attention. It was mentally running through the issues that have prevented me from finishing the story – at least in recent year. Once more I have too many options for the story and it has become super-complicated in many ways. I have scrapped this story many times and started fresh … but I always end up at the same point, and the story stalls.

The original idea was simple – probably too simple. And my writing was very naive, as I hadn’t found my voice so was writing in a borrowed style. I’m actually glad that having a toddler to chase after distracted me, because what I was writing at the time was complete tosh! But while I have copious notes, character descriptions, some research, and several chapters under my belt, it still is lacking something. And everytime I think i find the missing piece it stalls.

But I love the story too much to give up on it. So I was absorbed by the task, by the notes themselves, and by my mental analysis of the story and its flaws. It would be wonderful to tie up a full rough draft for this story during this NaNoWriMo. For now, I’ll just continue to slowly chip away at the smaller stories that need completed drafts.