What makes life worth it
I've been thinking about this phrase, "makes life worth it" does this imply that the majority of life is crap? and that there are only a few (far in between) things that make going through all that crap worth it? if that is the case than that sucks, why do we make life so freaking hard? should it not be the other way around, "things that make life not worth it" ? feeling all googley, I search and guess who has an article about it "psychology today" what makes life worth living.... give me a second to read it.... "Here are some possible answers to the question of what makes life worth living: (1) nothing; (2) religion; (3) happiness; (4) love, work, and play. Evidence from psychology and neuroscience supports the fourth answer." hmmmm.... that was just the first sentence, for me i work two jobs, i play little, and love, well not so sure that exists although i do suspend disbelief on a daily basis, now anxiety about "loved ones" well i guess that answers my question, those who I love, are those who i worry about. "You can have happiness without much meaning, and meaning without much happiness; so happiness is not the meaning of life." hmmm, so does that mean that finding what makes life worth it is the meaning of life, the goal, like old whats his face "samuel johnson" and the whole idea that the path to happiness is not about the destination but the path itself, that it is the search of happiness that is the happiness, that as long as you are working towards some sort of goal and it doesnt matter what that goal is, then you will feel as if you life has meaning, and that if you should attain said goal you should find a new one, because only in the quest can you be happy. that is true for me, i am most depressed when i have no goal, when i am not working on a novel, or getting another useless college degree or moving, or anything else of significance. so, if you have read the above mentioned article then you will see that he came to about the same conclusion as i did... which btw was not a new idea i just had.... wrote a whole stupid paper on it years ago.... so back to the question what makes my life worth living.... monkeys, babies, books, movies,... when does live not seem worth it? maybe just about anytime i'm not in the middle of reading a really good book.... so my answer books make life worth it. still seems like we spend a lot more time on the things that don't make life worth it, like work, obsessions, depressions, cleaning house.
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maybe that is the key, maybe obsessions are what make us happy, be that a book, music, a person, a color, anything that can keep our minds focused long enough to lose sight of how fleeting life really is, and how pointless it can seem, but that leads me to think, what if we "got" what every it was that our obsession craved? such as the person, the book, everything in one's house to be painted green. I know that this attainment doesn't make me happy, I once obsessed for years about getting the first book written by my favorite author, almost got a copy for like $200 and then they sent the wrong book, and i couldn't get the right one, well years later, i got it for like 60, read half of it, and it wasn't as good as i remembered when i got it from interlibrary loan. Same goes with a guy, I lost one once, spent like 10 years looking for him, only to find him and add him on FB only to find out that he was an asshole and that i had blocked that part out. so, the answer for me is that no, happiness can not be found, but more unhappiness is possible, so maybe i should make decisions based on whether they will make me more unhappy rather than based on some illusion for future happiness. i read a book on happiness last year, and it said the reason it is no attainable is that our state of mind has changed by the time we arrive at what ever we had previously thought would make us happy, that there is no way to predict what we will want in the future, so all the thinking "if only I had..." doesn't work. Thats why i try not to decide what i want to eat the next day, cause what i will be in the mood for will be very different then, unless it is a food i am obsessed with, hmmm attainment of obsessed upon food might make me happy.
Ever read something so profound and then realize you wrote it? The same old struggles year later.
Also - obsessions can be quite good. Depending on the obsession/circumstance of course. I know my obsession with certain esoteric styles of music and art keep my mind busy, which is an excellent way to stave off depression. Assuming you can focus in the first place. I don't think you monkey obsession is doing any harm :D