I envision the people in my life like a solar system. I am the star, not a celebrity, but an actual star. Of course, I am at the center of my solar system, and the people in my orbit are like a thousand planets surrounding me.

The ones that are closest get the most light and warmth from me, but there are only a few. Let's call them the inner circle of close friends, associates, and family. Not all friends, family or associates are allowed into the inner circle. As a matter of fact, very few are. My most intense interactions happen with these people, and communication is allowed and welcomed pretty much anytime.

The group outside of that are outer circle friends, associates, and most other extended family. There are a lot of neighbors, people at work, and family members that are " outer circle friends," not close ones, just friends. Some hug the ring close to the inner circle, sometimes but not often, punching their way through to the inner circle, but mostly "friends" stay in that comfortable space of texting you when they have something to say, or maybe a couple of times a year to just say hi. That seems like a proper boundary expectation for people that inhabit this particular belt of my human solar system.

Everyone else that I know are acquaintances, adversaries, and friends or family members I don't care for who I've relegated to the cornfield. Acquaintances are necessary and mostly not objectionable. Adversaries, while they can be aggravating, still exist and need categorization, therefore they also reside here. Family members and friends that have fallen out of favor, or that you just can't fuckin' stand, must also be categorized somehow, so here they sit. Communications from acquaintances is sparse, and rightly so. It is rarely objectionable since it is sparse and light. Communication from overzealous adversaries, irritating family members, and clueless acquaintances is never welcomed and almost always frequent and burdensome.

The remainder of humans are strangers. Strangers are good, and I welcome interactions with strangers, so please feel free to contact me about my books, my posts, etc. Interactions with strangers are often less awkward than interactions with people you know. Plus, strangers can be abandoned altogether when an awkward interaction has occurred. For those you already know, the awkward interaction is forever memorialized in the annals of the relationship, often making further interactions more awkward. Strangers deliver a no strings attached human interaction, my favorite type.

In the real solar system, everything inhabits its proper place. Celestial bodies don't spontaneously co opt another's orbit.

Sometimes an outer circle friend, acquaintance, or out of favor family member decides they want to exist in a more intimate part of my solar system. They flout convention and order. They try to jump from an outer ring to the inner circle. And just like moving the arm of a record player across grooved vinyl from the first song to the last without picking up the needle, they cause actual damage and chaos.

When someone you barely know starts calling you "bro," red flag. When a family member you can't stand says they just want to have a closer relationship with you, red flag. When a one-night stand shows up at your work, red flag.

It makes sense, it does. All things seek equilibrium; water levels itself. A person content minding their own business becomes a vacuum sucking in people who require inputs from other humans to feel okay. Unfortunately, the equilibrium this world seeks, in this respect, disrupts my homeostasis.