The world of Other Place is a land of great danger. Evil wizards, rampaging armies, dragons with marital problems, it’s a wonder anyone lives past breakfast. But some threats are more subtle, more secretive. Hiding in the shadows, secret societies seek to bring down their foes with trickery, ambushes, assassinations and lies, and none of them are more powerful than the Seven Secret Societies. The world shall fear them!

Assuming their bake sale is profitable.

The Seven Secret Societies.

Once upon a time, a group of dissatisfied merchants, struggling artisans and lesser nobles banded together to overthrow their king and replace him with one of their members. They formed the secret society known as the Crown Breakers. In time their ambitions grew until their goal was to replace all kings through any means necessary.

Unfortunately, most of the Crown Breakers were broke, and the rest were barely scraping by. Unlike some secret societies, none of their members were independently wealthy, and they needed cash to establish hidden bases, pay bribes and buy weapons. Long on plans and short on results, the group sputtered along for years. Eventually their leader decided their best chance of defeating kings was to migrate to an unsettled land, grow strong there and return once they were powerful enough. The Crown Breakers settled an unoccupied wilderness far from their homeland. They worked long and hard with no promise of victory in their lifetime, but they persevered.

Then one day neighbors moved in next door. Lots of them. These were the Iron Chain, disgraced warriors who had fled their king’s disastrous last battle and come here for the same reason as the Crown Breakers. If it took a thousand years to rebuild and avenge their loss, they’d do it.

Rather than view the Iron Chain as enemies or competitors for cash and resources, the Crown Breakers saw them as kindred spirits. They formed an alliance dedicated to achieving their respective goals. After all, they stood a better chance of victory by working together. To improve their chances even more, the Crown Breakers decided to recruit other secret societies that were struggling.

That wasn’t hard to do. Desperate people had long formed secret societies, few of which were successful. Over time the Crown Breakers absorbed the Red Tide Pirates, the Scalawag Scholars and the Damsels not in Distress. All three joined because they were broke and the alliance was their only hope of paying their members. Later they allied with the Ten Pins, who in a refreshing change of pace agreed to the deal because they’d been defeated by their enemies, but they would have gone broke if the battle had happened a week later. Lastly, they recruited the Star Struck, who were so poor they were eating out of dumpsters. They formed a council of seven leaders and renamed themselves the Seven Secret Societies.

Each group had their own long-term goals and no way to achieve them. The main problem was the lack of money. Their leaders decided the first order of business was to make enough cash to fund their organization. The Seven Secret Societies established lumber camps, workshops and farms to feed and equip themselves, selling excess produce to get hard currency. These would also operate as legitimate fronts for their organization. They also sent out agents to get cash by robberies, smuggling, poaching and so on.

That was years ago, and they’re barely getting by. Part of the problem is they’re not good at anything. No, really, it’s a wonder they can tie their shoes! They’re especially bad at hiding. Their legitimate fronts include the Perfectly Ordinary Lumber Mill, the Perfectly Ordinary Seafood Restaurant, the Perfectly Ordinary Creamery and so on. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together could see that these businesses are connected and there’s something suspicious going on.

At least they would notice if any of these businesses stayed open. Half of all business ventures fail in their first year. The Seven Secret Societies has a ninety percent failure rate. It turns out you need accounting skills to run a business, which they lack. Most people would learn from the first few dozen mistakes, but society leaders are convinced their soaring bankruptcy rate is due to enemy interference.

As for nefarious deeds, they’re not good at that, either. Barely staying in the black prevents them from buying the best weapons, armor and magic items. Generally it prevents them from buying any weapons, armor and magic items. Most of their missions are just heists to get supplies and enough money to keep creditors at bay. It doesn’t help that a lot of what they steal is lost due to the society’s planet shattering levels of incompetence. Most years they don’t do anything to advance their long-term causes. Their few successes are so small that their enemies rarely notice.

Notable failures in recent years, and there have been a lot of them, are the stuff of legends. They include stealing a ship loaded with fresh fish. The fish spoiled, the ship was accidentally grounded on a reef, then it caught on fire and burned to the waterline. Society members kidnapped a princess for ransom. Her parents refused to pay, the princess got on everyone’s nerves with her constant whining, and they eventually let her go because it cost too much to feed her. Then they tried plundering ancient elven tombs and accidentally dug up one containing the Eclipse Beast, a monstrous guardian left by the elves to protect their dead. That fiasco cost the society three front businesses torn apart before the Eclipse Beast got bored and wandered off.

The future of the Seven Secret Societies is grim. Forever teetering on the brink of insolvency, they struggle to survive in a world of massive threats. Their one saving grace is a dubious one, namely that none of their enemies even know they exist and wouldn’t care if they did. For now the Seven Secret Societies remain on the fringes of civilization, plotting schemes of revenge that have no chance of working, constantly moving when their bases accidentally burn down or their front operations go broke, and absolutely certain that victory is on the horizon.



PS Their bake sale was a disaster.