My dearest Santa, I’m a long-time believer but first-timewriter to you. This is not the conventional letter. You see, I am writing toget some advice about lists. With all the goings on and the busyness of life yesterdayI wrote down five things to do this morning that I’ve been putting off andforgetting, whether convenient or not until after business hours, or it’s toolate to start, etc.

He’s making a list and checking it twice was on theradio yesterday as an anthem to you and your prowess at keeping all the kidsacross the world straight so I thought list was the appropriate way to go, checkthem off, and put them behind me. My piddly remove trailer from NL Services, removetrailer from insurance, call doctors office (for the third time) to get the portalset up, package the Starlink and return via Fedex, and order some books, didn’tseem that daunting. My list was added to the pink sticky note and laid on mylaptop for bright and early this morning.

I got a head start on it, first by going into NL ServicesOnline and it was a 24/7 operation. But the details weren’t correct from the trailerbuyer, and I had to look up the postal code for her address. That was just a tinyglitch. Figured it out and got an email from NL Services Online that thetrailer was removed. Now for the morning, I only had four things. How hardcould it be, Santa?

The insurance company had an app as well but I wasn’tfalling for that twenty minute q&a session with Janet the chatbot a secondtime. She lured me down a rabbit hole only to tell me that I had to call. So,Janet basically lied when she said all services could be done online. However,a nice lady from NL did answer promptly when I called and took care of thematter in short order. This time I wasn’t getting caught with Janet again, butshe was prompt in saying to call. I guess Janet learned a lesson from our lastencounter. That is not checked off yet though because of the next item Itackled on the list. Santa, how do you do it when things go wrong?

I called the doctors office and lo and behold the email thatI had called about for two weeks finally arrived. Third time lucky, I guess. Itwas easy. Just click the link and enroll. So, I did. I got a host of questions,the second one was automatically populated with the correct email address but Igot an error saying it was already registered. Which I can safely say it wasnot because if I don’t do the registering, it doesn’t get registered, justsaying. I called the office back and the lady told me just to click on the helpbutton and get it resolved. For ten minutes I looked for the help button,clicked every place on the site and not a helper to be seen. I found a toll-freenumber which I called and there was another Janet who lured me through a dozenmenu options and finally disposed of me with a hang up without resolution. I startedagain and clicked some more and found a random page which allowed me to enter informationand it is in the Janetverse somewhere waiting for somebody to take pity on me.Tell me Santa, if they don’t get back to me, do you put Janet on the Naughtylist?

My frustration level was rising now so I printed off the Starlink return label for the courier from the third reminder email and readiedthe box. I had to schedule a pick-up. Well now Santa, if I had to call theNorth Pole and asked you to pick it up and drop it off in California, I think I’dbe better off. I’m not insensitive to the plight of the carriers but Starlink don’treally show mercy when they give you ten days to return the bad equipment or becharged. (Another few people for your naughty list I do believe). But Idigress.

I went online to schedule a pick up. IMPOSSIBLE, yes all capitalizedfor a reason. After twenty minutes of the site telling me I had to pay like$600 on a pre-shipped label and fill out a custom’s form I gave up when Janetsaid she couldn’t help me and that I really should speak to an agent. ThanksJanet, at least give me a number or connect me. No, nothing like that so Janetshould be bolded on your naughty list. I found a 1800 number through some sleuthingand connected with another Janet who finally allowed me to speak to an agent.That poor fellow was patient and kind but couldn’t help. He talked to me forabout fifteen minutes, collected all the details, twice, but then he tried toschedule a pickup. It was in vain, only to tell me to call back the next dayand see if he could get me on a list. Oh Starlink, do you understand thesetroubles. Please show mercy.

Then I looked online again for places to drop it off. I waspointed to a pit at Kent’s in CBS. Then I said to myself, I wonder does Kenttake the packages. I called and a nice lady said sure, drop it off here and don’tworry about it. She is going on the nice list, eh Santa. Let’s just puteveryone there on the nice list, please.

Forty-five minutes later, I’m at item number three. That waseasy. Took about two minutes. Sylvia was pleasant and took my book order. Shedefinitely gets on the nice list. Don’t forget her Santa.

Item number four was also easy, took about ten minutes and theinsurance company guy, Jeff, he should make the nice list as well. I got a fewdiscounts when he reviewed my file since he had me on the line. Nice listplease. Only a suggestion though Santa since you are the authority.

I guess, Santa, I worked my way through the problems, testedmy patience to the highest limits, and have all but one item fully checked (and scratched and crossed out and gouged) since I’m waiting on Naughty-list-Janet to get back to me with the medicalportal details. It’s out of my hands now but I managed to get through it on myown. That was only five things. Santa, how do you do it with the millions youget? Hero worship here.

If I’m not too old for a Christmas wish and since I neverreally bothered you before, please bring Janet a book to properly educate herin checklist etiquette. That will make me and many others very happy.

Merry Christmas Santa. Keep on doing what you do. You are abright light in the darkening world and I, for one, appreciate you. Thanks forletting me vent.