I get asked this constantly. And it’s going to be the basis of a course I’m working on that will go deep into the fundamentals of style essences.

But I have noticed something important. More and more it becomes obvious that style is determined by more than just our facial features and our bodies. There is an energetic quality we express that sometimes just isn’t obvious from external indicators.

It’s revealed in how we move, how we express ourselves with our faces. It’s evident in our speech patterns and the timbre of our voice. (That’s why I created “Discovering Your Inner Style.”  It’s my course that delves into how your environment, your habits and lifestyle reveal your style.)

The Factors That Determine Style

Take, for example, a woman I spoke with recently. Physically, she is very much a Natural type. She has the sturdy body structure and angular facial features that clearly place her in this category. Also, she has a lot of High Spirited playful and creativity in how she expresses herself through what she wears.

But in her speech and behavior there is a delicate level of refinement that is clearly Angelic. Her coloring is also more delicate than what is often found in those who have a lot of the Natural style type. Even that little amount of Angelic essence gives her some wardrobe options. It adds a yin quality to her outfits (the yin essences being Romantic, Youthful and Angelic).

And frankly, when she completely ignores this quality and emphasizes only some of the yang ones (Dramatic, Natural, and High Spirited) her personality tends to disappear.

When to Break the Rules

In an earlier post I cited John Kitchener’s suggestions on how to combine our varying style elements. The idea is simply that the more of a specific style you embody, the more individual pieces of clothing you can wear in that style in one outfit.

Sometimes this can feel restrictive. It can also be confusing for those who have several style essences of similar percentages. So, here is my exception to these rules.

If there is a special occasion for which you intentionally choose to emphasize one of your lesser essences, just own it! I’ve seen women who have minor amounts of Romantic in their style combination wearing dresses with a lot of Romantic details (body con fits, lower cut necklines, off-shoulder, shirring construction detail) for weddings or gala-type events and they simply look spectacular. Creating a dolled up glamorous look can definitely be a fun mood elevator.

The way to do this without feeling awkward or ridiculous is to look for that incredible dress, or blouse in a color that is exactly in your color palette. You can sometimes push the boundaries of style essences a bit by just wearing the right colors.

So, is the opposite true? Can you wear something that is different than your innate coloring if the style is perfect? Frankly, that’s a much harder thing to do. Color is the first thing someone notices when they meet you. And the way color highlights your face is crucial to staying true to yourself.

What We Intuitively Know About Style

I think that by the time we are in our 30s or 40s we already have some idea about our style essences, even if we don’t put the “proper” name to them. Our bodies, regardless of weight fluctuations, have certain proportions and our faces have certain shapes. And we know how we feel when we wear something that echoes our style essences.

If something isn’t true and authentic to who we are, on the inside as well as the outside, we are role playing in someone else’s story. It just makes us work too hard. One of the criteria I use when shopping for myself is to ask: “Is this item making me a little crazy because I have nothing to wear with it?” When something just works, there is a feeling of completion, of emotional relaxation, and authenticity.

Give yourself permission to play, to experiment, to be creative. If you hit on a garment or a combination that makes you say, “yes!” go for it. Then consider what it is about the pieces or the combination that expresses who you are, fully, on the inside and outside. Is it the color? The textile? Is it the cut and fit of the garment. Is it the proportional balance. Is it the way that it emphasizes your best features?

That’s always a great way to get to know your style, and yourself, better. In my next post I’ll be writing about three simple things you can do to always dress well. Take good care.

BTW – Here is a link to my course on Highbrow, Lazy Person’s Guide to a Better Wardrobe (it’s FREE with a one month trial subscription that you cancel at any time) and it’s written for both men and women. Great gift for a grad you know who is entering the workforce.

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