„Whatever I am, let it be enough“

V. E. Schwab, A Gathering Of Shadows (Shades of Magic 2)

Hello kind reader,
I hope this place keeps you warm against the cold winds which still howl at the late hours. Have you ordered your drink? Good, keep that beverage close because there is a bit of catching up to do.

The Current Is Only A Fleeting Thing (I hope)

Kind reader, this question has been circling on my mind multiple times as I must be honest with you – Not everything is swell at work. Yet I want to refrain from opening up as it could backfire. For anyone. Just in short – I had brighter, much more fun days. However, the months may feel stretchy to the end of my training and yet it is just a couple of skipping stones away.

On a different, more gentle note – My friends (flat mates) and I try to enjoy the bits in between even when fatigue is consuming our minds and bodies a bit too much. There were late evenings of us opening up to a deeper touch, there were afternoons of us just sitting in the kitchen and just get all the stuff out of our system which likes to ruin our days. Sometimes you just have to rant and sometimes you just have to get it all out. Let’s say – Life’s been a over baked biscuit on all our sides.

The before, the start, the very first time I set my paint brushes to work

And while I try not to just live at work, I find smaller or bigger projects to work on – aside of writing. I’ve found my little passion for painting again. And even though I could’ve just gotten new canvases, my creativity got the better of me. For quite some time, I wanted to give my wardrobe a different look and inspiration struck at the very core of me. These white walls shall be covered in forget-me-nots. And a fox at a later point when I have the paints there.
With quite some days between each step (from sanding down, whitening the wood for a clear start, adding the greenery and later the blossoms, etc.), it somehow soothes my soul which has been through it. Because for once, you don’t need to really think. Because no one demands something from you. It’s just so freeing to do something for yourself again.

A later current state, the first petals blooming (I’ve already added the greenery to the right side as well)

While this project will last me a bit longer, I kind of gotten a bit ahead of myself and somehow found a newer kind of fuel for my want to revamp my room bits by bits, making it more fitting to me (with the limitations my rental contract lets me, of course). I’ve a list by my bed of things I know I want and will add, change or simply do. However, more than anything – I am aware that it will take time and honestly, that’s good enough for me. But aside of me becoming a bit of a home makeover enthusiast–
I spend some time with a friends from work. Even if it was only to fetch dinner and talk or a tiny bit of grocery. It was much needed. For one, I could just have this deeper conversation with one of them and for the other, it was just nice to not be only talking about work. Best thing is when you get to be a bit silly as well. You get to know a person a bit better outside our daily work setting and that’s plenty.

What Happens At The Writing Corner?

To put it simple – My dystopian work is a bit on a break because Kayden and Maverick were very aware that I’m in no state to tell their tale in a way which benefitted their story. Hence, they are a bit on vacation while I’ve somehow started to edit chapters of TWaTST. Simply because sea breeze and travelling to isles I don’t know is something which helps to escape the way I’ve been feeling. It gives me a bit of hope again. Which is plenty for me right now. Right now, it feels like I’m growing a bit as a writer and it helps with writing on that first book for the trilogy. Adding more to the descriptions (in a good way), filling in the blanks I have left while jumping to a new scene, small yet important steps to make the narrative more understandable to the viewer’s eyes. Kind reader, I’m terribly aware that you are not living inside my head and that you cannot read my mind. And yet – I’m not immune to plot holes or gentle story blanks.
So yeah, to speak the truth – When I left TWaTST in peace, I’ve stopped roughly at the word count of 20-22k. Now, I’m getting closer to 25k and that by simply revamping chapters. (I’m at chapter 3 of 17 finished ones. Planned so far were 18.) The book is finally growing into its shoes and I’m just happy how it proceeds so far. But this is not the only thing.

I’ve magically managed to put a little third book out. Called „songs stuck between my rip cage“ . I call it „little“ as it is the first time I really put poetry down in a book format. However, small stories are weaved in between to keep it all tightly together. If this makes sense. It got quite personal, to be honest. More personal than I got to be with TWWCAU (which pulled a lot on my heartstrings with Xian and Dallas). A good example is „the quiet theme for myself“ which you can read here.
In case, you are interested, you can get it at Thalia or other German book shops. Anyway, I’m not only a writer but also a reader. And if I haven’t told you enough that March was rough (and April seems to continue doing so), here is …

A Much Needed Reading Update

March has been disastrous as a reading month on my side. For someone, who usually gets through multiple pieces a month, the last and only piece I’ve finished was Godkiller by Hannah Kaner because as I have spend more time, mentally and physically at my day job than elsewhere. Which happened to be also a month I could not be there for myself in the ways I needed it.
April has so far been roughhousing as well but I’m learning bit by bit to be there for me again, to pause from working at the bookshop. And it’s minuscule tasks but significant. Like doing laundry, working slowly but steady on my wardrobe. Reading. Gosh, just this Easter weekend, while I’m writing here, I’ve spend most of my day reading and having Pianza’s piano playlists running in the background. But I also allowed me something. It is called „sleeping in“. On my days off, I like to turn off my alarm clock and just sleep. Most often, it is only until roughly until 9:30 am but this Sunday, it’s been even until 10:30ish am. Much needed rest.

Anyway, I’ve finished my second time reading This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone (I was in desperate need for something of comfort) and currently finishing The Graveyard Shift by M. L. Rio. Otherwise, bite size for bite size, Sunbringer (Godkiller Nr°2) by Hannah Kaner is etching closer to the half read mark. The further I read, the more exited I get for Faithbreaker. Which brings me closer to getting dents into my reading goals of 2025.

I won’t be mad if I cannot finish the entire list but I’m still trying to get as much done as possible because some of the titles, I’ve been dodging for a bit. (At least to finish them.)

While April is not over yet, I’m already contemplating what to take with me when I’m off to my last school block. This time around, I’ve told myself to really narrow it down and pack rather light in general. (I’ve seriously overpacked last year.) Maybe two to three titles maximum. But which? Only time will tell.

Will there be other monthly wrap ups then?

For the time, I’m away (I’ll return in July), I cannot really say IF I get to update you. Maybe I’m throwing May and June together into one post. That’s something my schedule, free time and cramming sessions have to decide.

However, I hope that until then, you’ll be okay, kind reader. And that we get to see each other again.

With love,

Skylar