As a writer, I know all too well how difficult it is to let go of what you want for your story and your characters. Tunnel vision has cost me years in projects that finally made their way to publication. There’s a stubbornness that blinds us, or at the very least, impairs our judgment. We are mama and papa bears with our work. Revelations that we don’t have to do this, or we don’t have to tell it this way may come eventually, but it’s hard to be objective. It’s hard to say to ourselves, “Hello? This isn’t working.”

I have two perspectives—one as a writer and another as an avid reader. But you don’t need both perspectives to notice little things like an author’s tendency to keep reminding you that a character has blue eyes or what not. We get it. But even if we somehow forget, how important is it to remember that insignificant detail? I mean, it’s nice to know, but exerting excessive control leads to overkill.

For instance, we like creating badass characters, right? They certainly keep us entertained. I was discussing this with a friend recently. We had a fun conversation about who is badass on screen and who is not. There was a story we were watching where a supposed badass, one who other characters kept reminding us was a badass, went to great lengths to provoke her nemesis, only to cower when the enemy retaliated. That led my friend to say that a badass isn’t emotional in conflict. While being emotional doesn’t make a character any less tough, they would need to suppress that in key moments of conflict. My friend looks for cool. Some might say only a villain would be cool while torturing or killing someone, but how they appear doesn’t necessarily reflect what’s going on inside of them.

We talked about Game of Thrones where Oberyn Martell earned the nickname “Red Viper” for being such a fierce fighter, and we watched him lose a fight he initially won after much provocation because he wouldn’t shut up. Not badass. He got too cocky. And we were so disappointed.

We agreed that a badass also knows when the fight is over. They don’t keep pummeling someone who can no longer fight back.

Audiences often feel, too, that certain characters do not “earn” their badass moments. An example of that is Rey in Star Wars outshining both Luke and Kylo Ren, the latter of which should also have been a badass and was not, whereas the former actually was. That’s debatable, I’m sure, but it proves my point.

We have different ideas and expectations. Your definition of a badass may not be the same as mine. (It’s a little different writing a memoir, but what is the same is how reliable a narrator you are in your assessments.)

Often, it’s too obvious what we are supposed to see and yet don’t see it, and more as a reader than a writer, I cringe. It happens on screen as well. Sometimes you think you’re getting a badass, but it’s really just a bully with an over-the-top attitude. The character is full of snark and mocking irreverence but hardly worth championing.

I say this as a reader:

Don’t call your character a badass or have another character refer to them as a badass either in narration or dialogue. Especially, do not remind us (in dialogue or narration) that this character is a badass.

When I began writing my first novel, I would decide which of my characters I wanted readers to like, but if I asked them who their favorite was, they often surprised me. I ultimately concluded that I’m going to present my characters. Here they are. Who you want to love or hate is up to you. I have my biases, but you don’t have to feel the way I do about any of them.

To summarize, don’t tell me who is a badass. Don’t tell me who is feisty or fierce or brilliant, etc. Show me! Let your characters be who they are and let the reader decide.

There’s a lot of stuff on the net about what a badass character is, how to create one, etc., and you can take what you like of what you read and present that. Like their skill, their fearlessness, their confidence—those things speak for themselves.

You can also have a character who is not necessarily a badass, but has a badass moment.

It’s not that they always have to be likeable either, so if you want the over-the-top snark, that is fine as long as you don’t care that some readers may like this character and some may not.