I’m feeling really tired. Physically and emotionally.

I chatted with someone recently and they said “no offence, Carly, but you’ve been through a lot”.

True.

As Princess Catherine said recently, life after cancer doesn’t feel normal. I’m trying to work as much as I can, and do social and domestic things. I’m trying to build up my savings. I’m trying to rest as much as I can.

But I’m also processing all that happened to me in the last year and a half.

Moved house.
Bowel issues.
Inconclusive tests.
A life changing overseas trip.
Stomach pain on the way home.
More tests and a pre-diagnosis.
Stopping work.
Cancer diagnosis.
Hysterectomy.Recovering from major surgery.
Four rounds of chemotherapy.
Trying to access Centrelink.
Very sore skin and low mental health.
Ongoing targeted bullying and trolling from within the disability community and elsewhere.
Returning to work.
Five weeks (25 sessions) of radiotherapy.
Menopause.
Being told I’m cancer free.
Recovering.
Getting back to life as it was.
Still maintaining ichthyosis.
Worrying about cancer recurrence.
Work, housework, medical appointments.
Navigating ableism and discrimination.

Needless to say, I’ve got a bit of whiplash.

I’ve got access to mental health support. I’m happy. I’ve made many positive healthy changes including regular exercise. I’m surrounded by good people.

But reflecting on all that’s happened, and moving through the world now is overwhelming and exhausting (aside from all the horrific world events) . I’m weary. I feel like a need a holiday. I want to tidy my bedroom but I’d rather go to bed and sleep.

I can’t even think of a paragraph to round off this post. Other than to say, I’m tired and life has been a lot.

Image: Carly, a tired woman with a red face, wearing a pinkish beanie, a green and pink floral tee, navy jeans with strawberries on them, pink sneaks and a red jacket.

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