Something happened today that really pissed me off, and I thought it might be an object lesson in how to make potential customers/readers/friends very angry.

First off I should say, I get a lot of spam, especially stuff that is publishing and SEO related. None of it has a particular effect on me one way or another. It’s just there, I delete it from my inbox and go on with my day. So a spammer needs to make an effort to engage me in a particularly negative way. One guy in particular managed to do so.

How so?

I got the following email:

Hi S Andrew Swann’, I came across your book ‘Marked’. The cover caught my eyes, and the concept sounds interesting! Is this your first release, or you have published other titles too?

Best regards,

Jess.

Cool, a fan mail, right? Nothing odd about it… Except on second reading, I notice a few things. One, note how it omits any specifics about the cover or the content of Marked? I didn’t notice that at the time and just emailed back thanking Jess for the e-mail and directing them to the books page on my website.

It was Jess’ response that pissed me off:

Hey Andrew Swann,

It’s an absolute pleasure reconnecting with someone who’s been telling stories since 1993—that’s a legacy worth celebrating. You’ve laid the groundwork with years of writing, and I believe now is the perfect time to breathe new life into your books and introduce them to an even broader audience.

I’d love to introduce you to a few impactful services we offer that are helping authors like yourself boost visibility and generate sales:

What. The. Fuck.

You come at an author like a legitimate fan of their work, then once they are nice enough to respond, you hit them with a sales pitch? Jess is damn lucky he forgot to actually name the company he’s shilling for, because I’d go out of my way to tell every author I know about this sleazeball and his tactics.

It reminds me of some fellow authors who go on other author’s pages and pretend to be a fan, just so they can pimp their book. Though this seems a bit more… personal. Most important, it tells me what kind of company you’d be promoting my work. Even if this didn’t piss me off so viscerally, why would you think I’d want my name tied up with a company that uses tactics this sleazy?

Thanks for reading. I just had to vent.

Photo by Le Vu on Unsplash