I ask for my coffee extra hot. Sometimes, I do that, and it comes cold anyway. There would be times when that happened and I would drink it anyway. Most people don’t like to cause a scene and sometimes that means we don’t speak up. It’s a small moment, but also a symbol of larger opportunities for defiance in our lives that we often let pass by.

According to Dr. Sunita Sah, the ability to embrace your defiant side is critical in learning to speak up for yourself. When I spoke to her for this ...