When Someone Says Something You Disagree With
When someone says something you disagree with, can you instead of rejecting it or absorbing it, can you let it pass through you? Can you give it space to be? Can you see it, play with it, and let it go back into the void without blocking or denying or accepting it? This is what it means to be fully open to life.
If you’re a human being (and I’m just going to assume that you are), then people are going to say things you disagree with. In fact, lots of people, lots of times.
Sometimes it’s our own brains that say things we wholeheartedly disagree with. Things like, “Eat that whole pizza,” “Smoke a cigarette,” or, “I’m worthless.”
So why does a disagreeable sentence upset us so? Why do we feel the need to argue, make a point, or silently fume in anger? And do we really, truly want to live in a world where everyone has the same thoughts?
These are the two reasons we get upset by disagreement:
The ego bounces back disagreeable opinions and sticks to agreeable ones. The ego is the false entity that holds opinions, and therefore creates all conflict. The ego creates the target for its own wounds. The bigger the ego, the bigger the bullseye. Nothing can pass through the ego undisturbed. But the true self lets all things pass right through it.A habit of reaction. Since childhood, we have reacted to our thoughts. Sad thoughts make us sad, scary ones make us scared, angry ones make us angry. We are slaves to thoughts, habitually reacting to them. It makes no difference if it’s our own thoughts or someone else’s spoken out loud — we react.The fact is, words disappear as soon as they’re said. It is only in our mind where they continue to live because we give them life.
The spiritual practice is simple and it solves every problem, even this one. Don’t react to thoughts, stay focused on the present, and practice this daily. Do it in meditation and throughout the day. As thoughts come up (which they surely will), stay focused on the present moment in front of you and within you — your breath, body or surroundings. Don’t let thoughts distract you from this moment. This is the practice of our lives. This practice infuses thoughts with a peaceful, calm, and undisturbed energy. Then, when someone says something we disagree with, nonreaction will be our new habit.
We have three options when someone says something we disagree with. We can reject it, which creates conflict and anger. We can accept it, which means we change our views based on whoever is around us and we give our power over to others. Or, we can be space, which is to recognize that there is no entity within us that can be affected by other people’s opinions — not even our own opinions.
Be space, my friend.
Much love,
Todd
P.S. Here is another topic that I covered this week:
We’re All Buddha and Hitler, But Here’s the Good News (Listen Here)
P.P.S. As a further reminder not to take anyone’s negative or unkind words too seriously, watch our latest film on YouTube, God’s Dream. One day you’ll wake up from the dream and wonder, “Why was I so upset and worried.” Well, you don’t have to wait for that day anymore.
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