There’s something almost poetic about pairing my owl-and-squirrel collage with a review of Teacup. The squirrel—wide-eyed, cornered in the tree—should be experiencing pure fight-or-flight mode. The owls are massive, poised, and moments away from pouncing. The tension is right there in the image.

Unfortunately, Teacup never manages to pull that off.

I’ll watch anything with Yvonne Strahovski (Dexter, The Handmaid’s Tale)—she could read a tax form and I’d still ...