This post was a ministry letter from Barb Friedman.Originally written November 2003.

About two months ago, I met a mother and her blind and autisticson, his younger sister, and his baby sister. This family had previously been inAmerica and had returned to their homeland. Now they were back in the States fortheir son’s sake. The schools in their homeland were not equipped for children withdisabilities like his. The family knew that in America their son could get the helphe needed. America attempts to make it possible for those who are handicapped tolive as if they were not.

The mother asked me if God was punishing her because her son wasborn bind and with autism. Immediately I thought about that Jewish man inJohn’s gospel who was born blind:

“As he went along, he saw a manblind from birth. His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or hisparents, that he was born blind?’ ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed inhis life’” (John 9:1-3).

After Jesus miraculously healed this Jewish man, he believed thatJesus was the Messiah, the one God promised to come, and received eternal life.His blindness from birth, rather than being a curse was “a severe blessing.” Itled to his salvation.

“The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent” (John6:29).

“No, God is not punishing you,” I told this mother. “Rather, hehas given you this son as a very special gift. Though all children are gifts fromGod, a child with a disability is even more so.”

She looked at me with surprise, disbelief and “with all ears.”I told her that children born with disabilities are not the norm—they are not common.Therefore, this makes these children special gifts. I expressed that God reallyintended to bless her and the family when he gave them this son with his handicaps.What many would consider a curse was really meant to be “a severe blessing.”

I anticipated this mother’s needs. Surely children born with disabilitieswill require special care and treatment, as well as much more love, muchmore patience, and much more wisdom. I explained that when God entruststo a family one of these special gifts, He certainly wants to give them all the“much mores” they will need in order to do what is best.

Then I compared human love, patience, and wisdom, which have limits,to God’s love, patience, and wisdom, which have no limits. This mother was wellaware of her limits, her inadequacies and shortcomings related to her son and hisdisabilities. “Your son’s needs have caused you to have needs that will requireGod’s help as well as His comfort. When you believe in God and in Jesus, God willgive you all the much more love, patience, and wisdom that you need in order todo what is best for your son and family. And to do it with joy! When you believe,this will be the first blessing your son will bring to the family.” She smiled atme.

At our next meeting, this mother asked, “What exactly is sin?”At our third meeting, she asked, “What really happened when Jesus died on the cross?”She was already in Heaven’s harbor waiting to dock. Well, she got docked! May Goduse her peace and joy and her new life in Christ to draw her family and others tothe living God and the love of God.

Recently, she told me how others feel so sorry for her becauseof her son’s situation and the suffering it must bring to the family. She said tome, “But we are not suffering because of our son. We have peace and joy.” I toldher to use this as an opportunity to explain how she came to believing in the livingGod because of her son and how her son really has been a gift from God and a blessingfrom God.

“Praise be to the God and father ofour Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and the God of all comfort, whocomforts us in all our trouble…. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow overinto our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

If any of you are in some difficulty or having trouble of thekind that seems too much, too big, too awful for you, remember that God gives overflowingcomfort. There is no suffering that is too much, too big, too awful that God’s comfortcannot drown. He is “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.”

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships