I Miss Singapore - Issue 1 - The Lizard Ate My Dingo!
It's only been a month since we moved back to Toronto and, in that time, I am pleased to announce that I confirm that licking a fence in cold weather is a very bad idea. Well, we were out of the country for 8 years and that's a long time for anyone to remember all the rules and regulations of being Canadian.
In a desperate attempt to ignore the fact that I was having my tongue stitched at the hospital, my mind drifted serenely back to Singapore and my friend, Roger. Roger is a monitor lizard who calls the Singapore Botanic Garden home - or evil lair where he dominates the park with his bulk and his malevolent third eye. On days when the park becomes too crowded, thus causing his food supply to duck for cover - rats, snakes and small children - Steve waves goodbye to his lizard friends and treks across the street to our house. Yes, it is true that this is the same street that Prince William and Kate drove down when they visited the country. I stood decked out in my finery, manning a right proper British tea stand complete with those little sandwiches and haggis. They didn't stop, however, but I did wave regally as their entourage whisked them away, no doubt to to a" his way across the street and slither i to our backyard pool.
Reaching our backyard was no mean feat as Roger had to climb to the top of our driveway which was at an easy forty-five degree angle to the street and the temperature rarely dipped below ninety-five degrees. But, Roger is mono temperature and, eventually, he made it, remarkably unseen given his bulk, and into our pool; completely ignoring the No Lizards sign we had posted to stop this sort of inflagration.
But Roger was not to be deterred as apparently, the alkaline level in our pool reminded him of the primordial swamp out of which he crawled many years ago as a pup. His pattern never varied as he completed his laps and then would emerge, slippery and, if possible, even more disgusting, and lounge poolside taking in the sun's rays, the deckside menu clutched in his gnarly claw.
While this always sent me screaming, the one time he I did notice him one time trying to order off the room service menu, but our computers were down that day and, as such, he left hungry. And vowing revenge.
In a desperate attempt to ignore the fact that I was having my tongue stitched at the hospital, my mind drifted serenely back to Singapore and my friend, Roger. Roger is a monitor lizard who calls the Singapore Botanic Garden home - or evil lair where he dominates the park with his bulk and his malevolent third eye. On days when the park becomes too crowded, thus causing his food supply to duck for cover - rats, snakes and small children - Steve waves goodbye to his lizard friends and treks across the street to our house. Yes, it is true that this is the same street that Prince William and Kate drove down when they visited the country. I stood decked out in my finery, manning a right proper British tea stand complete with those little sandwiches and haggis. They didn't stop, however, but I did wave regally as their entourage whisked them away, no doubt to to a" his way across the street and slither i to our backyard pool.
Reaching our backyard was no mean feat as Roger had to climb to the top of our driveway which was at an easy forty-five degree angle to the street and the temperature rarely dipped below ninety-five degrees. But, Roger is mono temperature and, eventually, he made it, remarkably unseen given his bulk, and into our pool; completely ignoring the No Lizards sign we had posted to stop this sort of inflagration.
But Roger was not to be deterred as apparently, the alkaline level in our pool reminded him of the primordial swamp out of which he crawled many years ago as a pup. His pattern never varied as he completed his laps and then would emerge, slippery and, if possible, even more disgusting, and lounge poolside taking in the sun's rays, the deckside menu clutched in his gnarly claw.
While this always sent me screaming, the one time he I did notice him one time trying to order off the room service menu, but our computers were down that day and, as such, he left hungry. And vowing revenge.
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