Indie Author Cameraderie on GoodReads. AKA "Have fun under the bus asshole!"
Over the past few weeks, I've noticed a rather disturbing trend on this site. I'm taken aback by the propensity of some self published authors to intentionally attack other SPAs in a vain attempt to make themselves look better. It takes various forms; dissecting the grammar of someone's posts, insulting the subject matter of books, questioning of a writer's intellect, and in some cases, outright abusive language. This phenomenon bothers me a great deal. When I created my account on this site, I did it hoping that I would be able to connect with a community of peers and readers. Some days, it feels more like I dove naked into a pit of hissing vipers.
As of yet, I have not been the target of the so-called "experts". But, seeing as I post here on an almost daily basis, my turn on the chopping block is surely just around the corner. Shredding apart innocuous posts functions as the evisceration selection process. The champions of good grammar and perfect plot structure wait for an indie author to mention that they're indie, (or worse yet, mention their book) and then they pounce. God help you if there's a single comma splice in your entire sample section. They WILL point it out, and they will treat it like it's a fucking WAR CRIME!!!
I'm not trying to say that terrible grammar and gaping plot holes are acceptable evils. They're not. If a book is so poorly constructed that it's unreadable, of course the author should work to fix it. My problem doesn't rest with pointing out errors, but the arrogance and vitriol with which the criticism is dispensed.
One author in particular seems to go out of her way to be as inflammatory as possible, often challenging people to argue with her, so she can spew as much condescending diatribe as possible. What's worse, is that this woman doesn't know when to stop. Her victims will nod ascent, accept the critique, and she will continue to attack them for another 50 posts. On numerous occasions I was tempted to pipe up and argue with her, but decided against it. Why waste the time on someone who is clearly only here to tell people she's better than them? Not to mention the fact that this woman is a notorious rating carpet bomber, as are some of her friends. My book doesn't need 100 fake one star ratings right now.
Often these "experts" spew their bile under the guise of "constructive criticism". What they fail to acknowledge, is that constructive criticism is intended to be helpful to the person you're critiquing, NOT YOU! If you suffix your statement with something akin to, "That's something I would never do." or some other kind of grand pronouncement about how much better your understanding of the craft is, you're using your conversational counterpart as a patsy. Making someone a patsy is not constructive. It's rude, ignorant, and pathetic.
Evidently, the indie author community functions on the platform of negative reinforcement par excellence. The more disgusting the picture you paint of everybody around you, the better you look by comparison. At this point, I've read at least 100 posts by various self aggrandizing shitheads that were to the tune of, "90% of all self published books are shameful, disjointed, amateurish nonsense written by uneducated, untalented, unedited losers. BUT I'M NOT ONE OF THEM! I'M DIFFERENT! MY BOOK IS PERFECT! IN EVERY WAY! I'M THE ONE AND ONLY EXCEPTION TO THE GOLDEN RULE OF INDIE BULLSHIT!" To these authors I say, "Fuck you. Die in a fire. You are nowhere near as good as you think you are."
I make the above statement with full knowledge of their material. Every time I run across an author making these kinds of statements, I take a look at a few of their sample chapters. Thus far, not a single one has impressed me. Grammar wise, most were fine, but their prose was by and large average. If you're going to wander around thumbing your nose at your peer group, you'd better be somebody very, very special. One author in particular drives me up the wall. He goes on and on about indie authors writing regurgitated mass market schlock with no originality. Interesting post script to that: the author in question writes SPY THRILLERS. Spy thrillers are a fresh and obscure genre, right?
Another exceptionally irritating habit is the, "I'm a no nonsense person." defense. Many people use that sentence as a flimsy pretext for insulting others. If you can't find a reasonable, polite way to say something, then own up to your attitude and admit to being an asshole. Don't hide behind the supposedly bulletproof armor of,"I'm just being honest." while you're stepping on the back of somebody's head. Just dig your heel into the skull, push down, and stop being disingenuous.
The most common excuse for being hateful and harsh is the assertion that the accusers are 'being professional'. That somehow, the amateur writers are ruining the business for the pros. Their shimmering works of unparalleled genius are getting lost in the avalanche of ill conceived dross. They're not jerks! They're champions of a holy cause!
What these literary martyrs fail to realize is that to many of us, it isn't just about money, or fame, or recognition. We have stories bouncing around in our heads and we want to share them with the world. When I wrote my book, it wasn't as a cash grab. I had a story to tell, so I told it. Was it perfect? No. There is room to improve, in editing and in storytelling, and I intend to work at it. Did people who read my book enjoy it? Yes, some of them did, enough to make me feel confident enough to write the sequel. Hopefully, I can build on the few fans that I have.
I suffer no delusions of grandeur. I know full well that it's unlikely I'll ever be able to do this for a living, but a man can dream. In the interim, I'll have to remember to walk on eggshells when I'm socializing on this site, lest the ravenous piranhas who populate it decide to harpoon my career before it even has a chance to start.
Whimmy, wham, wham, whozzle internet peeps!
Reed
As of yet, I have not been the target of the so-called "experts". But, seeing as I post here on an almost daily basis, my turn on the chopping block is surely just around the corner. Shredding apart innocuous posts functions as the evisceration selection process. The champions of good grammar and perfect plot structure wait for an indie author to mention that they're indie, (or worse yet, mention their book) and then they pounce. God help you if there's a single comma splice in your entire sample section. They WILL point it out, and they will treat it like it's a fucking WAR CRIME!!!
I'm not trying to say that terrible grammar and gaping plot holes are acceptable evils. They're not. If a book is so poorly constructed that it's unreadable, of course the author should work to fix it. My problem doesn't rest with pointing out errors, but the arrogance and vitriol with which the criticism is dispensed.
One author in particular seems to go out of her way to be as inflammatory as possible, often challenging people to argue with her, so she can spew as much condescending diatribe as possible. What's worse, is that this woman doesn't know when to stop. Her victims will nod ascent, accept the critique, and she will continue to attack them for another 50 posts. On numerous occasions I was tempted to pipe up and argue with her, but decided against it. Why waste the time on someone who is clearly only here to tell people she's better than them? Not to mention the fact that this woman is a notorious rating carpet bomber, as are some of her friends. My book doesn't need 100 fake one star ratings right now.
Often these "experts" spew their bile under the guise of "constructive criticism". What they fail to acknowledge, is that constructive criticism is intended to be helpful to the person you're critiquing, NOT YOU! If you suffix your statement with something akin to, "That's something I would never do." or some other kind of grand pronouncement about how much better your understanding of the craft is, you're using your conversational counterpart as a patsy. Making someone a patsy is not constructive. It's rude, ignorant, and pathetic.
Evidently, the indie author community functions on the platform of negative reinforcement par excellence. The more disgusting the picture you paint of everybody around you, the better you look by comparison. At this point, I've read at least 100 posts by various self aggrandizing shitheads that were to the tune of, "90% of all self published books are shameful, disjointed, amateurish nonsense written by uneducated, untalented, unedited losers. BUT I'M NOT ONE OF THEM! I'M DIFFERENT! MY BOOK IS PERFECT! IN EVERY WAY! I'M THE ONE AND ONLY EXCEPTION TO THE GOLDEN RULE OF INDIE BULLSHIT!" To these authors I say, "Fuck you. Die in a fire. You are nowhere near as good as you think you are."
I make the above statement with full knowledge of their material. Every time I run across an author making these kinds of statements, I take a look at a few of their sample chapters. Thus far, not a single one has impressed me. Grammar wise, most were fine, but their prose was by and large average. If you're going to wander around thumbing your nose at your peer group, you'd better be somebody very, very special. One author in particular drives me up the wall. He goes on and on about indie authors writing regurgitated mass market schlock with no originality. Interesting post script to that: the author in question writes SPY THRILLERS. Spy thrillers are a fresh and obscure genre, right?
Another exceptionally irritating habit is the, "I'm a no nonsense person." defense. Many people use that sentence as a flimsy pretext for insulting others. If you can't find a reasonable, polite way to say something, then own up to your attitude and admit to being an asshole. Don't hide behind the supposedly bulletproof armor of,"I'm just being honest." while you're stepping on the back of somebody's head. Just dig your heel into the skull, push down, and stop being disingenuous.
The most common excuse for being hateful and harsh is the assertion that the accusers are 'being professional'. That somehow, the amateur writers are ruining the business for the pros. Their shimmering works of unparalleled genius are getting lost in the avalanche of ill conceived dross. They're not jerks! They're champions of a holy cause!
What these literary martyrs fail to realize is that to many of us, it isn't just about money, or fame, or recognition. We have stories bouncing around in our heads and we want to share them with the world. When I wrote my book, it wasn't as a cash grab. I had a story to tell, so I told it. Was it perfect? No. There is room to improve, in editing and in storytelling, and I intend to work at it. Did people who read my book enjoy it? Yes, some of them did, enough to make me feel confident enough to write the sequel. Hopefully, I can build on the few fans that I have.
I suffer no delusions of grandeur. I know full well that it's unlikely I'll ever be able to do this for a living, but a man can dream. In the interim, I'll have to remember to walk on eggshells when I'm socializing on this site, lest the ravenous piranhas who populate it decide to harpoon my career before it even has a chance to start.
Whimmy, wham, wham, whozzle internet peeps!
Reed
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