When people ask, “How did you survive prison?” I ask them, "How did you survive high school?” Same sort of situation. You are stuck. You don’t have a choice. Attendance is mandatory, compulsory. There are two ways out of prison: escape or suicide. I lacked the courage for either.I have never had time pass so slowly as it did during those seven years. Every minute was made more teeth-grindingly awful by the knowledge that I did it to myself. No one ever forced me to make the incredibly bad decisions I made in the 90s. That blame lies squarely with me. I wasn't some innocent man railroaded into the joint. I was a dangerously unbalanced idiot/asshole with a gun--the worst thing in the world.
How could I be proud of my past—it’s a dreary saga of waste, stupidity, and failure. Surviving prison was nothing more than dumb luck and simple everyday endurance, nothing to be proud of.