Over the years I’ve helped lots of students with school assignments, which sometimes provide pleasant egoboost, are often thought-provoking, and occasionally cause me to bobble between laughter and frustration. There’s nothing wrong with this kid’s letter; it’s my career that’s weird. See for yourself:


Hi Ms. Springer,
Thank you so much. I really appreciate that you would help me with my project. These are the questions I would like you to answer.

1. What is the typical starting salary?

There isn’t any. What I mean is, people just starting out generally do not make any money. I am not salaried; I am self-employed. What I do is sell my intellectual property, which is words I put together into a book manuscript. Most people who want to be writers take about ten years learning to write well enough so that they can interest publishers in their books.


2. What is the salary range?

Again, there isn’t any salary. The vast majority of writers make only a little money, not enough to live on, but a few very talented bestselling writers make millions. I am in between; I make about as much as a schoolteacher in one of the better-paying districts.


3. What is the typical work schedule? (Sun-Sat.)

I can speak only for myself. I usually work every morning, seven days a week, for two or three hours. Other writers might work only on weekends, or they might get up extra early to work before going to a paying job, or they might stay up late at night. There does seem to be a tendency for fiction writers to work either first thing in the morning or last thing at night, times when they are sleepy and dreamy.


4. What is the typical range of hours worked per week?

I don’t think there’s anything typical about any aspect of this job. Some writers work only a few hours per week. I work about thirty. Others, who have book deadlines to meet, might work around the clock, putting in eighty or more hours a week. But no writer should do that except for a really fat paycheck.

5. Who are some employers that would hire someone in this career?

They’re not exactly employers. They’re book publishers, some very large like the Penguin Group, some very small like Pulpwood Press. Usually I don’t deal directly with the publisher, but with an editor who works for the publisher, who is empowered to “buy my book” if s/he likes it. A publishing contract is complex, and arranges for the publisher to kind of rent my words, while I keep the copyright, the ownership, and it reverts to me once the book goes out of print.

6. Where in the country am I most likely to find employment in this field?

What country? I have no idea where you are e-mailing me from. But it doesn’t matter. There are only three languages providing a large enough readership to support a writer financially. They are English, Spanish, and Chinese. So employment as a free-lance (self-employed) writer is best sought in England, the USA, Canada, Australia, Spain, Taiwan, or China.

7. What makes this job enjoyable?

Not having to get dressed. (I work in my nightgown.) Not having to commute or punch a time clock or have a boss. Having cats in my office, as long as they are not interfering. Having a lizard in my office window right now for the cats to look at. Being creative. Playing with words. Being praised by people who admire writers. Doing research which may involve activities such as horseback riding or kayaking or country line dancing, or might involve travel.

8. What makes this job stressful?

No co-workers; it can get lonely. No steady paycheck. No retirement plan or health insurance. Tremendous competition. The necessity to accept rejection and/or deal with editors who want you to make changes in your book. The fact that when I tell people what I do for a living, they either ask whether I’m on the New York Times Bestseller List, or else they say, “Sure, and I’m the reincarnation of Princess Di.”

9. How difficult is it to get a job in this field right now?

Writing for commercial publication is and always has been a tremendously competitive field. Getting well published is very, very difficult. However, right now many writers are publishing electronically, on the Internet, which is less difficult but at this time less profitable.

10. If there is anything else about this job that you think I should know, please tell me.

This is not exactly a job. It’s more like compulsive gambling. You need to be somewhat crazy to do this.