Blurb for book 3!
This is a special request to anyone who has read books 1 and 2 of the Deathsworn Arc!
What do you think of this current blurb for book 3? Is it enticing? Exciting? Does it make you want to read on?:-
After fleeing the horrors of the Warren and Beren’Gedt Holt, the companions travel south to Cormaroth. Their hopes of finding sanctuary in the capitol are proven to be false. The Empress has re-opened the brutal 'Blood Trials' - a vicious arena fight between two brashers. When the thuggish champion issues a challenge, the companions find one of their group committed to enter the bowl. The blood trial however is the least of the companions worries. It becomes clear that at least one of the companions is marked for assassination.
When two girls are condemned to be burned at the stake for having intimacy, the companions decide to take on the religious establishment, be concocting a daring rescue, which may not succeed.
Dark secrets, a contest with an old adversary, and the revelation that a mysterious mind is inhabiting the sword Harbinger. All, in 'The Blood Queen'.
Finally warming to her companions, Vashni begins to reveal some of her long and checkered, centuries spanning history
What do you think of this current blurb for book 3? Is it enticing? Exciting? Does it make you want to read on?:-
After fleeing the horrors of the Warren and Beren’Gedt Holt, the companions travel south to Cormaroth. Their hopes of finding sanctuary in the capitol are proven to be false. The Empress has re-opened the brutal 'Blood Trials' - a vicious arena fight between two brashers. When the thuggish champion issues a challenge, the companions find one of their group committed to enter the bowl. The blood trial however is the least of the companions worries. It becomes clear that at least one of the companions is marked for assassination.
When two girls are condemned to be burned at the stake for having intimacy, the companions decide to take on the religious establishment, be concocting a daring rescue, which may not succeed.
Dark secrets, a contest with an old adversary, and the revelation that a mysterious mind is inhabiting the sword Harbinger. All, in 'The Blood Queen'.
Finally warming to her companions, Vashni begins to reveal some of her long and checkered, centuries spanning history
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Tiffany
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Jun 19, 2014 07:01AM
I like it Martyn! One thing though :) "religious establishment, be concocting a daring rescue" Shouldn't the word be really be by?
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And I apologize if my comment is presumptuous :D
Yes it should be! Well spotted - this is precisely the sort of thing I need a good editor and proof-reader for. I'm terrible at spotting my own gaffs!Thank you so much for pointing it out. Do you think the blurb could be improved in anyway? You don't think it's a little too 'spoiler ridden'?
Thanks!
Martyn
I don't think it's spoiler ridden. Maybe putting this last statement "Finally warming to her companions, Vashni begins to reveal some of her long and checkered, centuries spanning history" before this statement "Dark secrets, a contest with an old adversary, and the revelation that a mysterious mind is inhabiting the sword Harbinger. All, in 'The Blood Queen'." The Dark secrets sentence seems like a perfect summation of the book, and a nice ending to the blurb.Big maybe here.. but if you think it has spoilers you might take out," When the thuggish champion issues a challenge, the companions find one of their group committed to enter the bowl." and just leave the rest. That statement (IMHO) is the only one really that is spoilerish. I feel weird telling you this stuff when I haven't read the third one yet lol, so I can't really be sure how much of the book you are revealing to us.
Hope this was helpful. :)
Thanks Tiffany, how about this then:-~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After fleeing the horrors of the Warren and Beren’Gedt Holt, the companions travel south to Cormaroth. Their hopes of finding sanctuary in the capitol are proven to be false. The Empress has re-opened the brutal 'Blood Trials' - a vicious arena fight between two brashers. When the thuggish champion issues a challenge, the companions find one of their group committed to enter the bowl. The blood trial however is the least of the companions worries. It becomes clear that at least one of the companions is marked for assassination.
When two girls are condemned to be burned at the stake for having intimacy, the companions decide to take on the religious establishment, by concocting a daring rescue, which may not succeed.
Finally warming to her companions, Vashni begins to reveal some of her long and checkered, centuries spanning history
Dark secrets, a contest with an old adversary, and the revelation that a mysterious mind is inhabiting the sword Harbinger. All, in 'The Blood Queen'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Does that sound better?
Sounds and looks good to me :D I am really looking forward to Book Three.
Thanks Tiffany! I'm looking forward to finishing it! I've been working on it for months. It should have been out twelve months ago. Going back to try to fix books 1 and 2 have taken a toll. I'm still worried that they are too 'error ridden' - have you seen my latest 3 star review for book 1? I really thought I'd nailed it with version 6.1.5!:(
