You reached into the nether and dragged your novel out kicking and screaming, producing something where there had been nothing. And you did, by gum, because you're freaking awesome. And honestly, for many of us, where you are now, you're past the hard part. In full disclosure, the number of my actual published works are a drop in the bucket compared to how many I've started only to abandon. To look in my writing projects folder on my thumb drive, it's like a graveyard in there--so many dead documents. So you can trust me to know how difficult it can be to start constructing something and have it wobble and collapse halfway through--sometimes, even earlier than that.
So before we get any further, I want you to take a moment, take your hand off the mouse, sit back and close your eyes and just bask in the fact that you finished your novel.
Breathe in, breathe out. Ahhh, nothin' quite like personal success.
Feeling good? All right, take that feeling, bottle it up tight, and keep it close to your feels. You'll need it later, to remind yourself why exactly you're putting yourself through this.

PART I: REJECTION
Let's Tarantino this thing and jump ahead. Some sharp, sudden emotional contrast, for effect.
I'm going to just go ahead and get this out of the way now: I promise you, your manuscript is great, but the publishing world has not managed to sustain itself on quality fiction; its managed to stay afloat in the Distraction Seas crowded with superhero movies, YouTube clips, video games, iPhone games, and every other damn thing vying for people's money and attention because of marketable fiction.
I'm not telling you to drop everything and go back and turn your legitimately human heroine into an arrow-shootin' vampire gal or some such nonsense. I just want you to know that nine times out of ten that's why a book is turned down. Either it's not exactly what's hot right then, or worse: your book is what's hot right now and they already have too much of it to take yours on regardless of how good it might actually be. It sucks, I know. Another thing to know is:
This is really a matter of timing, and luck.
Some people are reassured by that, because then it's totally out of their hands, but for control freaks like me, I hear that and I want to scream. But, like death and taxes, for authors or any artist, that fact is the unfortunate truth. Talent figures in very little into this equation, unfortunately.
Not for us. Get used to that phrase.

Another thing to know (I'm almost done with the negativity, I promise), is that when you begin sending your queries to agents and editors, you'll probably immediately get back a rejection email. Within minutes, if not seconds. Take the blow, shake it off. Just know it came back that quick because that agent or editor is completely inundated their email's set to auto-reject so as to preserve their sanity. They're human too, remember. 
So right off the bat, your first rejection that came nearly before your EMAIL SENT notification was off your monitor, brush that one off your shoulder. It's cool, it's cool.  Nothing personal. Rest assured, there'll be more times where that happens than actual personalized responses.
The worst will be the close calls. There'll be agents and editors who, just to be jerk-faces apparently, will say how they came this close to sending you a contract but chose not to because meh. This is another bramble bush to crawl through, whilst on fire. But you want this, don't you? I mean, I'm not trying to be a jerk-face myself here, but . . . better you find it out from me, now, here, in this safe environment, than out there where they eat their young for breakfast and later on in the day their elderly because they're bored and nothing's on TV.
Think of this period as your time in Query Desert. Without a compass, nothing solidly discernible on the horizon . . .
You can't go back, don't really know which way from here is right . . . so all you can do, really, is keep walking.

I came up with this mental picture a while ago and it works here as well as in other crappo situations as well. It was like this when sending our queries for Fabrick . No one wanted a weirdo story about weirdos on a weirdo planet having weirdo adventures. But I kept at it, I believed in Clyde, Nevele, Flam, and Rohm that much.

And one day, I think it was a Friday, Medallion Press picked it up. One of the best days of my life, the day I got to leave that particular manuscript's Query Desert.

Just keep moving. Simple as that. If it feels wrong, turn a little and go that way for a while, heed the signs, take advice you think feels sound, and celebrate every little victory. It's the only way.
Now that you know about all that, we can actually get to writing the query letter itself.



PART II: WRITING THE HOOK IS ALMOST HARDER THAN WRITING THE NOVEL ITSELF
As a writer, you will spend a lot of time--months, years--putting together your manuscript. Hundreds of paragraphs of description, action, dialogue. Then, when it comes time to trying to sell the thing to someone, you have about two sentences to catch their interest. Three if you've come across the rare thing called the patient agent, or a little more likely: the patient assistant.
Two sentences to sell your novel. Preferably short ones. 
I know what I'm asking you to do is tough. I'm asking you to take everything you worked so hard on to get just right, all of those scenes and interactions, acts of undying love, black-hearted treachery, deceit, victory, displays of honor, dignity, grace, understanding, and goodwill . . . and mush it down to two stupid sentences.
I know, I know, stop looking at me like that, all right? You can take your time with this. It's not impossible.
Figure out what, at the core, your novel is really about. You have to spoon-feed your novel to people who are very, very busy and your novel's plot needs to be easy to grasp with only a quick skim of the eyes. Give them the sprawling rundown of the plot's synopsis when you're asked for it, never before. Concentrate on the overall vibe of your novel and let that reflect in the opening of your query. Let your characters represent their home world manuscript, and work as its advocate.
Hit the ground running. Say hello and go right into what makes your book special. You don't have a second to waste, front-load your letter so as to put as much attractive information right at the start. Think of it like a foot race. The starter pistol goes off, you don't start tying your shoes then, do you? No! Bang, you run!
PART III: THE TRUTH ABOUT AGENTS & EDITORS
If you've read my other Fic Tips, you know I don't jerk your chain. With that being said, agents are really just the gatekeepers between you and publishers.

Knowing this, for me, makes it easier. You know your roles; you're the artist, and they're just middle-men. And since you're a bad-ass like we established in the previous Fic Tip, you can smile to yourself while dealing with them.
Harsh? Probably.
On the other hand, if you are submitting directly to presses that take unsolicited manuscripts--and I am speaking as the husband of an editor here--you are to give editors absolute respect. Hear me? Editors, to a lot of newbie authors, are thought of as censors, of the person who's going to rob all the "good parts" from your manuscript and replace them with black bars or drawings of puppies eating ice cream. They're not. Editors are your friends, your man in the corner, your cheerleader, your personal trainer, the person who will make you look good, the one who will tell you x, y, or z of your novel is stupid and help you change it and help you save face before Snooty Reviews can get a hold of it and say it publicly--and it definitely won't be as nicely as when your editor tried to tell you. And if you ever meet an editor in person, they, among everyone in the publishing industry, are the most deserving of your thanks--and they probably won't turn down a drink if you offered to buy one; they're almost constantly in need after dealing with authors like us all day.
So now you know a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff, let's write that query letter!
PART IV: THE QUERY LETTER ITSELF
- THE HELLO: Address them as Mr. or Ms. with the ultra-professional salutations of Attn.Not Dear or S'up or DUUUUDE. Attn. Clean. Good. Don't use their first name, don't try to come off like you're old buddies. It's a waste of time to charm them, and likely counter-productive; their hearts resemble less-huggable sea mines.
- KEEP IT SIMPLE, SWEETHEART: Two sentence pitch, right off the bat. Unrequited Geese is about two geese who fall in love and despite one being the kind that flies south for the winter and the other is not, they remain in contact over Skype. In the following spring, when Goose #1 returns, Goose #2 has died; it's super sad. There. That's your entire novel. 
- THIS IS WHAT IT IS: If your story's more of the plot-based variety, you don't even need to include your main cast's names just describe the dire situation they're in. If your book is all about your main character, establish that. Start out with what makes them interesting.
- YOU'RE YOU: Don't compare yourself to other authors. Those authors have agents, and have been given contracts, and have published their books. To agents, unless that author suddenly needs a new agent, is a dead prospect, taken. And if you're comparing yourself to another author, or your work to another author's work, you're not something special, then. And I know you're anything but a copy. Your work is amazing, it deserves to be seen, so don't go lumping yourself in with someone who is already established. So in the section where you give a rundown of you are, just say what lit rags you've been published at before with your short stories or poems or essays, maybe where you're from, and that's it. You're an artist selling their art, not themselves. You're not looking to get adopted by these people; they want to know what you've done lit-wise, not where you lived, how many goldfish you have and what their names are, etc.
- WHAT DID THEY ASK FOR: Did the agent specify they want a three-chapter sample in their submissions guidelines? Then send the sample, and only the amount they requested. Do they want it formatted a certain way? Format it that way. (I'll explain the standard submissions format in a minute here).
- BUH-BYE: End with thank you for your time and consideration, or some variation thereof, and sign off with your name. No Sincerely, no i luv u, boo. Thank you for your time and consideration, YOUR NAME. Make sure you're emailing from the address you want to be contacted through, and send it off.
PART V: GOOD FORM: FORMATTING IS YOUR FRIEND
Like I told you earlier, you can bend the rules. But only with your prose, not with formatting. These are etched in stone, and you must follow them unless asked to format otherwise by a submissions guideline. 
Decree, the First: Cover pages shall reveal enlightenment, and your email address.
Your cover page should have your name, address, phone number, email address, and word count somewhere on it--preferably on the top left side, or in one of the corners if you have something against the top left. Put the title in the middle, by, and your name. Done and done.
Decree, the Second: Thou must use Times New Roman, point 12.
Yeah, the boring-est of the fonts. But the thing is, unless you use it (at expressly point twelve), you won't look like you know what you're doing and agents/editors will pass you up because you'll be too much of a headache teach--even if your manuscript, otherwise, glows. So these are absolutely vital, okay?
Decree, the Third: Thou shalt double-space thy work, lest ye be dim.
Double-space it. Ever try to read anything for any length of time that's single-spaced. It begins to look like a word search puzzle designed by a hummingbird with no concept of how a word search puzzle should look. Double-spacing keeps things easy on the eyes and if the agent/editor.
Decree, the Fourth: Thy header and footer shall be simple, not schmancy.
At the top of the page--in the Header, with text aligned to the right, you should have NAME OF NOVEL / LAST NAME, FIRST NAME. That's it. In the footer: again, aligned right, the page number.
Decree, the Fifth: Margins are . . . there.

You'll see a lot of submission guidelines saying they want their margins such and such way, but if you open a new Word document and don't muck around with the margins at all, it's fine. This one I'm surprised so many submissions guidelines still feature because unless you're doing something real funky to your docs as you're banging out that first draft, there shouldn't be any need to change anything.

PART VI: SENDING YOUR QUERY OUT INTO THE DIGITAL BLUE YONDER

I say digital because I hardly know of any agencies that take hard copy anything anymore. If you're taking about editors asking for manuscripts--or a full, as you'll learn its called--then, yes, sometimes they do task you with standing  in a FedEx Office for an hour and a half. Otherwise, you'll be mostly dealing with a million email addresses.

Speaking of which, go to agentquery.com. Start there. A lot of still-active agents are there, and you can break down who reps what by genre and subgenre. Very handy. Be sure to only query agents that have profiles saying they accept email solicitation. Sometimes, you'll see multiple agents from the same agency and in that case you'll want to go to that agency's site and browse their agents' profiles and see which one would be best suited with your work--just like you've been doing with all of the agents previous, right?

PART VII: PURGATORY: PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

Now the wait. Except for those first rejections that came in thanks to auto-reply, you're in the Query Desert now. In the middle of it. I suggest taking up a hobby. Seriously, you don't want to have your entire life devoted to this. To writing, yes, but not waiting for emails. So I'd recommend joining a bowling league, adopting a cat, or alcohol-ing. All of these are absolutely choices.

Seriously, though, if you're going this route, it's a waiting game. When you do hear something, it's great--you're on cloud nine and it was totally worth that trek through the Query Desert, absolutely. But until then, it's a slog, as boring as starting at a vacant email inbox remain vacant. I really do recommend having something else to busy yourself with until then. Live your life. Because, really, while writing and getting published is incredibly rewarding--there are days I wish I had back. I missed a few birthday parties, I ruined a camping trip once fretting over a manuscript. If you're good at separating work life from home life, utilize that same skill here.

PART VIII: THE RESPONSE, THE REQUEST

Hey, someone emailed finally! Good for you! What'd they say? WHAT? THEY WANT A FULL? AWESOME!

Okay, so you had an agent request a full. This is good. Take your manuscript, and email it to them. Done. Now, return to the Query Desert to wait. Except this time, I'm sure, it'll feel a little bit easier.

And that's it. I know, I'm not really capturing how exciting it is--heh--but you're here, so clearly you're interested in doing this. Go ahead and bookmark this post, I'll keep it up. Feel free to tweet it, reblog it, tumblr it or whatever. This is stuff I've learned, and am more than happy to share.


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