To be calm is the highest achievement of the self. ~ Zen Proverb

 A tired body and mind are a breeding ground for delusion. Think of when you are tired: you become cranky, perhaps snap at people, irritate easily. Maybe you’re one to get whiney. Everyone reacts differently to the stress of exhaustion, but any current issue in our lives tends to become magnified and often very oppressive when we are tired. Life just isn’t as enjoyable as it is with a rested body and mind. In our culture, we find it difficult to be restful. We may lie on the couch all day, yet the mind is busy and full of work. We can sit all day at work and be exhausted by the mental pressures it places on us. There is a balance and harmony that needs to be met in life if we wish to operate at optimal performance. There must be a balance between action and inaction in both mind and body; inaction is an important element for action. The inaction makes for not only more fruitful actions but also gives us the ability to enjoy the actions more. Most successful people know the benefits of rest and recreation in the formula for success, true success, which is not only monetary. Some people gain massive success monetarily, yet are burnt out, have declining relationships and a general lack of joy and fulfillment in their lives. That does not sound like true success to me. We need balance, and proper relaxation is a key element that can bring it all together.

In yoga we learn savasana, which is Sanskrit for “corpse pose.” This is the asana where we lie on the floor and consciously relax the body between poses and at the end of our practice. Although this is the pose many people like because we are simply lying down, it is said to be the hardest pose to master. The reason being is that the goal is to be like a corpse, to detach from the mind and body so the mind and body can heal and rest. This pose also trains us to practice relaxing all day. We have such trouble relaxing that even when we are on vacation we often don’t know how to relax. We need to learn to get into that space of relaxation, that space of peace and rest. This is where some of the best ideas come from in business, writing, art, or whatever it is you may be doing in life.

Sounds easy enough, right? Well many people are thinking as they read this, I have no time to rest. Perhaps the demands of your life don’t permit time to just stop and relax often. Well, the good news is that we can practice relaxing all day. As I write this, I can write with joy and relaxation. I don’t need to be tense. Being tense is a habit, a fight-or-flight reactionary mind. Yet, we can change this destructive habit that only serves to bring stress to our lives.

Often I practice relaxing every time I sit down, be it on the subway, at a desk, or anyplace: I take five or ten seconds to bring my attention to my body and consciously relax it. I often find my shoulders are tense or jaw is clenched, and I didn’t even notice this.

We can go all day with shoulders or back tight and jaw clenched.

Try this right now for five seconds, go on I’ll wait…

Congratulations you just did a five-second meditation.

Did you notice any unnecessary tension in the face, brain, forehead, or shoulders? The more we bring awareness to this destructive habit, the more we relax and soon we will develop a new habit for relaxation. It is often good to have a suggestion, something that reminds us to relax. For example whenever I am in New York City and I get onto a subway and sit, I consciously relax my mind and body for a minute, and joy comes flooding in as a result. We must learn to be flexible and relaxed because a rigid and tense mind and body is one that breaks easily. It is a weakness, as opposed to a flexible mind and body, which bends in the wind like a piece of bamboo, strong and joyful.

Most religions and spiritual practices observe a day of rest, yet in our modern world these days of rest are not honored as they once were. I would advise a day of rest if possible: the benefits will be immense. You will find that there will be a vast difference in a day: one day you feel tired and defeated by the world, but when we take a day to rest, we become strong and ready to take on anything. The irony of working ourselves sick is that when one rests in between or takes a day of rest they are more likely to be successful in all areas of their lives and more effective at the tasks at hand, but we often ignorantly think we need to work, work, work—with no rest. There are countless success stories of people having their most lucrative ideas within a mandatory rest they have incorporated into their lives. One person in particular had told his family of his day of rest and would lock his door to the basement and was not allowed to be disturbed. He would rest his mind, watch a little TV, allow himself to be still, and as a result, he said most of his successes were bred from this time alone.

Like a beautiful composition of music, it’s the space between the notes as well as the notes that makes the music, or else it would just be one long sound, not very graceful. Our lives are often an ungraceful, long sound with no breaks. As we read earlier, even when we are sick, we have trouble resting. We worry, thinking, Should I call the doctor? Oh, I can’t believe I am sick! And so on and on we disturb our rest with thoughts like this, even getting angry at the fact that we are sick. When an animal gets sick it retreats into a safe place and does nothing but rest. The animal doesn’t take drugs to numb the pain and push through it. The animal doesn’t worry about it much. The animal simply rests, and consequently will heal much faster than us. The body and mind have an amazing ability to heal themselves, all we need do is relax and keep a peaceful mind. The grand design of all animals, including humans, comes with a built-in need to sleep. Nature shows us simply, yet we often are deprived of proper sleep or have such a habit for a busy mind and body that even in sleep we do not rest properly.

I have found that we are so habitually conditioned to do that even when we do take a day of intended rest, the mind wants to do: it wants to search the web, it incessantly wanders to what we should do. Recognize that this is a habit. Some good practices I have used during a day of rest is to take a hot bath, perhaps with some Epsom salts. I sometimes take some valerian root (an herbal supplement) or drink some chamomile tea to help retrain this incessant habit energy that finds difficulty in resting. Sometimes I just stay in bed and try to keep a peaceful mind. I eat good food and drink plenty of water. These provide a good meditation that heals the mind and body, and the benefits the next day are immense.

Create your daily hypnotic suggestion now for rest. You can use anything such as the following: “Every time I wash my hands, I take ten seconds to bring awareness to my body and mind and relax any tension.” The suggestion could be that anytime you see water or anytime you sit down, maybe every time you sit down at your desk at work, you bring awareness to the body and relax. We can even do this while driving. Often we tense up without noticing when driving, yet we can relax the body and mind. Often, if I just internally say, “Relax my brain,” a couple of times, it sends a signal to my entire body to relieve unnecessary tension. You can use a sticky note maybe on your bathroom mirror or at your desk at work that says, “Relax.” If you do use the sticky note, I would suggest moving it every couple of weeks, because as with everything in our lives we no longer see it after a short while.

Let’s now briefly look at the benefits and science of being more restful. Often you will see a statue of an enlightened being such as the Buddha, made of pure gold. The gold represents a state of complete rest, zero stress. Zero stress means impenetrable to disease. Stress is the largest culprit in creating sickness of mind and body, and relaxation can combat this. The Buddha said, “My dharma is the practice of non-practice.”

The autonomic nervous system (ANS), which regulates the functions of our internal organs, includes the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is the one that flares up in the fight-or-flight response when we feel threatened or excited, when we are chasing opportunities, or in emergencies and things of this nature. The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) allows us to rest and digest. There is a healthy balance of the two in the body, yet in our culture we are more and more dominated by the SNS, and as a result have more stress than we should have. Again this is due to our habits: we are being trained and conditioned by our world to go-go-go, and often don’t even know how to relax if we wanted to. This wreaks havoc on our immune systems and degenerates our brains and bodies: the chemicals that are released in fight-or-flight responses and stress-induced states can be very destructive if not regulated by the PNS. In fight-or-flight responses, the hormonal system shuts down to conserve energy for the fight. We need not think about sex while fighting or when running from a tiger: our digestion shuts down as well. Again, we do not have to go to the bathroom in situations of emergency or fight or flight: this is why in extreme cases many go to the bathroom in their pants. When extremely scared, the digestion completely shuts down, and all comes out. In this state, blood is rushed to the legs for running, and in some cases this is helpful, as when evading a hungry tiger. But in our modern world, we turn on this system, and it never shuts off, leaving us with a huge rise in sexual dysfunction, digestion issues, and a myriad of other destructive immunity and mental health issues. Learning to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system will bring calmness and joy to your life. You will become stronger in mind and body and overall healthier and more functional as a human being.

In many of the blogs here we have been exploring techniques to calm the mind and body and tap into the PNS. Learn what fits into your life, create a suggestion and a habit for rest. Simply taking a couple of deep diaphragmatic breaths can stimulate the PNS and counteract the SNS. We must learn to be the masters of our brains or else they will keep us stuck in a primordial fight-or-flight state, which is not joyful or beneficial to anyone.

The warrior is calm and peaceful and thus strong in body and mind.

An excerpt from “Small Steps to Giant Leaps”