My mother has discovered GR.

So, this is not so much a blog post as it is a face-saving, covering my ass post.

My mother, who is a genuinely lovely person, has recently come into possession of my old Kindle Fire because it was giving me headaches. She is not a tech-oriented person, but she is enthusiastic. She briefly owned a laptop, but I was forced to confiscate it after she gave her credit card number away for the second time and managed to download enough viruses to make both of us cry in frustration. I thought the Kindle would be a nice solution and a good way for her to occupy herself when she's not busy criticizing me or reporting her neighbors to the police for their many, many crimes.

One thing I did not predict was the fact that Mom is now able to log on to several sites as me. She does not understand (and can't be made to understand) that holding a device in one's hand does not automatically identify a person to all who might come into contact with them online.

Truly, it's been a bonding experience. I now know that we both think Jensen Ackles is hot, we both like to watch Britain's Got Talent videos on youtube, and we both think pinning pics of French Bulldogs for hours is time well spent.

Now, to the covering my ass bit. There were a few of my books on that kindle. Mom does not read my books. I don't want Mom to read my books. She insisted on reading Boo! because she thought the cover was cute (Thanks, Natasha!) but that led to her asking me why on earth would anyone ever stick his tongue in someone else's butt. After that conversation, we agreed my work was not for her.

But... she got bored. She read another of my books. She discovered GR. She reviewed the book (as me!). She gave it 4 stars. (Yes, I was pissed it wasn't five.) She wrote a nice little snippet of a review and then went back to reading Sonia's recipes on Pinterest.

She claims that was her only GR activity. I have no choice but to believe her, but, in the interest of saving any reputation I might have, I want to say that any recent irrelevant or in any way odd statements that may have seemed to come from me are to be blamed on my mother.

Also, don't worry, she now has her own account. Any future Nick statement's are from the real Nick. Unless those statements piss you off... in that case, it was Mom.
184 likes ·   •  116 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on June 02, 2015 20:40
Comments Showing 1-50 of 116 (116 new)    post a comment »

message 1: by MishyJo (last edited Jun 02, 2015 08:46PM) (new)

MishyJo I'm sending you one of these.




message 2: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant MishyJo wrote: ""

Ha! Perfect!


message 3: by Heidi (new)

Heidi That's just too funny Nick! I would die if my mother got a hold of my Kindle. We feel your mortification!! LOL :)


message 4: by Emma Sea (new)

Emma Sea this is the most awesome thing I have read today.


message 5: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Chilli wrote: "That's just too funny Nick! I would die if my mother got a hold of my Kindle. We feel your mortification!! LOL :)"

I got it back for long enough to do some deleting. I think I'm safe now.


message 6: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Emma Sea wrote: "this is the most awesome thing I have read today."

Thanks, Emma!


message 7: by Ann (new)

Ann HAHAHAHA - this is awesome. What a sweet, disconcerting and slightly uncomfortable bonding moment you had with mom.


message 8: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Ann wrote: "HAHAHAHA - this is awesome. What a sweet, disconcerting and slightly uncomfortable bonding moment you had with mom."

The bonding was nice, until she stole my identity.


message 9: by KatieMc (new)

KatieMc Aw Nick, now I want to start following your mom.


message 10: by Ashley (new)

Ashley Efird OMG, you just don't know how much i needed this laugh. She sounds wonderful!


message 11: by Krissy (new)

Krissy Lmao!


message 12: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant KatieMc wrote: "Aw Nick, now I want to start following your mom."

Trust me, you don't.


message 13: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Ashley wrote: "OMG, you just don't know how much i needed this laugh. She sounds wonderful!"

She's a peach.


message 14: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Krissy wrote: "Lmao!"

You're the one who tipped me off by liking the review, Krissy! I read it and I was like, "Uhm... I don't review my own books." It took me a while to figure it out, but eventually I put it together.


message 15: by Ele (new)

Ele Hahaha...that was a pretty funny thing to read first thing in the morning. Gawd, moms and technology don't mesh together that well sometimes...:)


message 16: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Eleftheria wrote: "Hahaha...that was a pretty funny thing to read first thing in the morning. Gawd, moms and technology don't mesh together that well sometimes...:)"

No, but they learn fast!


message 17: by Sofia (new)

Sofia It's like having an enemy within. Yay to your Mum, a huge part of your greatness imo Nick :)


message 18: by Paul (new)

Paul I'm LMFAO here, that is too funny for words.


message 19: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Sofia wrote: "It's like having an enemy within. Yay to your Mum, a huge part of your greatness imo Nick :)"

She will appreciate that, Sofia. You'll probably be getting a friend request!


message 20: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Paul wrote: "I'm LMFAO here, that is too funny for words."

:)


message 21: by Alona (new)

Alona So, after reading this first thing in the morning I have one question:
WHEN is your next book coming out? I need some of your great, fun writing!!


message 22: by Sofia (new)

Sofia Nick wrote: "Sofia wrote: "It's like having an enemy within. Yay to your Mum, a huge part of your greatness imo Nick :)"

She will appreciate that, Sofia. You'll probably be getting a friend request!"


I would definitely love that :)


message 23: by Krissy (new)

Krissy Nick wrote: "Krissy wrote: "Lmao!"

You're the one who tipped me off by liking the review, Krissy! I read it and I was like, "Uhm... I don't review my own books." It took me a while to figure it out, but eventu..."


Hey, I wasn't gonna judge! Lol. Glad I was able to help though :)


message 24: by Nico (new)

Nico Jaye <3 everything about this post and heeeee! Wish I'd been a fly on the wall for the Boo! conversation. :)


message 25: by Ele (new)

Ele Nick wrote: "Eleftheria wrote: "Hahaha...that was a pretty funny thing to read first thing in the morning. Gawd, moms and technology don't mesh together that well sometimes...:)"

No, but they learn fast!"


They do indeed! And yours sounds like a lovely person;)


message 26: by Lori (new)

Lori Best blog post ever. I am now a Nick's mom fangirl.


Tamika♥RBF MOOD♥ Lol. I love this.

#nick'smomdidit.


message 28: by Meep (new)

Meep LOL - Thank you Nick's Mom, I needed some cheering up this morning.


message 29: by Alisa (new)

Alisa Hilarious post. Maybe her taste in books is lacking but she's got great taste in men. lol

*sigh* Jensen........


message 30: by Giulio (new)

Giulio I hope she didn't read my emails to you too!

description


message 31: by Kevin (new)

Kevin Cole This was cute :-)


message 32: by Tara♥ (new)

Tara♥


message 33: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Alona wrote: "So, after reading this first thing in the morning I have one question:
WHEN is your next book coming out? I need some of your great, fun writing!!"


So, so soon!


message 34: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Nico wrote: "<3 everything about this post and heeeee! Wish I'd been a fly on the wall for the Boo! conversation. :)"

I wish you'd been there too. I could have used the help!


message 35: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Lori wrote: "Best blog post ever. I am now a Nick's mom fangirl."

She'll love to hear that!


message 36: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Tamika♥The Assassin♥ wrote: "Lol. I love this.

#nick'smomdidit."


I'm stealing that #.


message 37: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Meep wrote: "LOL - Thank you Nick's Mom, I needed some cheering up this morning."

She's always glad to help.


message 38: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Alisa wrote: "Hilarious post. Maybe her taste in books is lacking but she's got great taste in men. lol

*sigh* Jensen........"


Yep. She's got an eye for the man-candy.


message 39: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Giulio wrote: "I hope she didn't read my emails to you too!

"


We're safe. She would definitely have mentioned it!


message 40: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Mark wrote: "Now I get it! So it was your mom that is uploading all these Red Beret stuff!!!"

Uhm... no... that was me.


message 41: by Irina (new)

Irina Nick, thanks for sharing this. Made my day :D


Sonia ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~ *giggles* I laughed myself stupid!

"She discovered GR. She reviewed the book (as me!). She gave it 4 stars. (Yes, I was pissed it wasn't five.) "

That was hilarious :)))) She sounds so much fun; not for you though.. :P

Hope she enjoyed the recipes i pinned :D (I assume you were talking about me since I did receive a lot of likes on pinterest :))) )

All the smooches!


Sonia ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~ Nick wrote: "Alona wrote: "So, after reading this first thing in the morning I have one question:
WHEN is your next book coming out? I need some of your great, fun writing!!"

So, so soon!"


Really happy about this news, I've been waiting for the "Pup Tent" one for a long time!!! *glares*


message 44: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Irina wrote: "Nick, thanks for sharing this. Made my day :D"

Thank you!


message 45: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Sonia ~I want MARCO back~ & ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~ wrote: "*giggles* I laughed myself stupid!

"She discovered GR. She reviewed the book (as me!). She gave it 4 stars. (Yes, I was pissed it wasn't five.) "

That was hilarious :)))) She sounds so much fun;..."


Yes, it was you, Sonia. She loves your taste in everything!


Sonia ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~ Nick wrote: "Sonia ~I want MARCO back~ & ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~ wrote: "*giggles* I laughed myself stupid!

"She discovered GR. She reviewed the book (as me!). She gave it 4 stars. (Yes, I ..."


Awwwww!! I feel so good now! *preens*


message 47: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Sonia ~I want MARCO back~ & ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~ wrote: "Nick wrote: "Alona wrote: "So, after reading this first thing in the morning I have one question:
WHEN is your next book coming out? I need some of your great, fun writing!!"

So, so soon!"

Reall..."


It's all done except for the beta readers.


Sonia ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~ Nick wrote: "Sonia ~I want MARCO back~ & ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~ wrote: "Nick wrote: "Alona wrote: "So, after reading this first thing in the morning I have one question:
WHEN is your next b..."


Yaaaaay! can't wait :D


message 49: by Ele (new)

Ele Nick wrote: "Sonia ~I want MARCO back~ & ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~ wrote: "Nick wrote: "Alona wrote: "So, after reading this first thing in the morning I have one question:
WHEN is your next b..."


Woo hoo! Awsome news! For some unknown reason I thought it would be out in October. What's wrong with me...


message 50: by Nick (new)

Nick Pageant Eleftheria wrote: "Nick wrote: "Sonia ~I want MARCO back~ & ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~ wrote: "Nick wrote: "Alona wrote: "So, after reading this first thing in the morning I have one question:
WHEN i..."


Probably because I've been promising it since LAST October.


« previous 1 3
back to top