I should have known by the screaming at the cat video he sent me thinking it was hysterically funny. Instead, I found it terribly odd and disturbing. Did I go with my gut instinct? Of course not…that would have been too easy.

I chose to go on my first recent adventure in the internet dating world. It should scare me away from it for good, however, I am an eternal optimist and I am also quite brave. On I went anyway, in the hopes that I had misjudged my uncanny sense that something was completely off about it.

It began a little over a week ago—this quest to again get out in the world. I figured in my line of work there is little opportunity to meet people and all of my friends and family are either married or seriously involved. I have internet dated before and actually have some lasting friendships though no romances from those days gone by. I put a brave new face on, answered questionnaires honestly, was succinct and to the point about what I was looking for and posted most recent pictures. I read profiles and this time stepped out of my box and actually sent a message or two out first.

And I did what I have done before, responded politely to each inquiry I received.

Mr. Kitty was not my type. I knew it by sight. His letter was nice and his profile was okay but I had no physical attraction to his photo. He was not ugly, but to me—he was not what I necessarily find attractive. I felt guilty. I was judging someone by their photo and by their uninteresting profile. I had an epiphany—someone is doing the same to me. Someone is looking at my picture and saying to themselves, “Eh, she’s not ugly but not pretty…” Someone is reading my profile and thinking, “Wow that’s a bit direct…” and failing to see my wit or charm. Someone out there, who may be my potential mate, is passing me by without giving me a chance at all based on something superficial.

I stepped outside of my box and gave him my number. We chatted on the phone and he was very funny about much. He also seemed intelligent and had a spoken way with words. We decided to meet.

I suggested Walmart because I needed toilet paper. He was game and thought the idea quite silly. I figured it was public and if I needed to escape I could as needed.

Before our destined meeting time, I received this video which set me completely on edge and my spidey senses told me there was something quite strange about this man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsiTWI...

Yet—I still went with the heart of an optimist.

We met at the entrance and I felt nothing and chastised myself for not giving it a fair shake, for being superficial.

“I shouldn’t be shopping in this store at all.” He complained. “Everything’s made in China.”

Now the hairs on the back of my neck stood up a bit as his rant grew louder and louder and he knocked over dishes and blenders to show me the bottom of all of them to see the made in China label.

“I hate this store.” He said. I still attempted polite conversation as he shouted his politics in the middle of each aisle.

I had an emergency call from a family member whom is seriously mentally ill. He was upset I answered. I apologized when the call was finished and explained this family member was in serious distress.

Finally, Mr. Kitty started to ask what kinds of medication my family member was taking. I explained and then he asked about the diagnosis and said, “Oh. I have that too. I have been diagnosed for years and usually do really well when I take my medicine.” And Mr. Kitty obviously does NOT take his medication.

We checked out and left the store. Mr. Kitty asked how long I could stay out with him and I told him I needed to take care of my family which wasn’t even a lie. I left and was thankful I didn’t have to lie because I surely would have ended the date as quickly as possible with a bold faced lie if not for an emergency.

I know most would delete their profile after that experience. But—as I said before, I am an optimist and I am brave. I’m not a scaredy cat in the least though from this day forward, I will go with the gut instinct rather than the logical thought I talked myself into.

I don’t need to step outside of the box too far. I only need to listen to my inner voice.



Monika M. Basile