*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*

“Life is NOT short! It’s just by the time we catch up to appreciating it…we’ve already left life at least halfway behind us.”

― Sanjo Jendayi

After spending some time with family this weekend, I awoke appreciative. I awoke happy. I awoke grateful. I swung my feet over my bed and couldn’t help smiling as I thought of one of my great friends who would text me the devil and his imps are shaking because I am awake whenever I had a speaking engagement. Suddenly, I heard this beautiful melody in my head and I thanked God as I stepped off of my bed and began dancing to the melody. I knew the lyrics, the song was familiar but the voice…the voice was so very special to me. I closed my eyes and rode each melodic tone to the beginning of the next:

I thought I’d never make it through

I had no hope to hold on to

I, I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up, hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn’t know my own strength

Found hope in my heart

I found the light to life my way out of the dark

Found all that I need here inside of me

I thought I’d never find my way

I thought I’d never lift that weight

I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up, hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn’t know my own strength

There were so many times I wondered

How I’d get through the night

I thought I took all that I could take

I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn’t know my own strength

My faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up, I hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn’t know my own strength

I was not built to break, no, no

I got to know my own strength”

Tears streamed down my eyes as I listened to The “Little Girl Lost” better known as Desi, Deserie, Sanjo, ME belt Whitney Houston’s song, “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength” out as if I was Whitney reincarnated! I WAS NOT BUILT TO BREAK!!!! I had glimpses of my strength all of my life but I really had no idea! I AM just awakening! The “Little Girl Lost” is now fully present and we got to know our own strength as we became one. All of my nicknames, my birth name, my performance/writing name, my experiences, all of these illnesses, all of my trials, all who’ve crossed my path, and all of the darkness I’ve encountered played significant roles in getting me to see the true light that’s been within all along. I thought; “I got it” some time ago but I am realizing the folly in that thought process (it blocks the light). Love is light and I am open to giving and receiving it everyday that I breathe! I am a student of life, learning something new everyday and the beauty in that is in living; I am also teaching everyday. I just learned in this very moment the difference between head & heart knowledge…I an an avid reader so it’s safe to say it is fairly easy to gain head knowledge however, heart knowledge is a certain “knowing” that nothing or no one can dispute because you know it deep within your soul. It’s a stretching and a flexing of your spiritual muscles that strengthen you for your journey. Today, I gained a heart knowledge about myself that simplified what I thought I knew about power to its greatest component…LOVE! I AM LOVE. Whoever said, “Let Go & Let God” must’ve surrendered and left it all on the mountain. The mountains have been good to me and now it’s time to rewrite my story filled with L♡VE!

http://www.sanjojendayi.com